Sex – When It Isn’t Fun Anymore…

When a couple decides to try for a baby, it can certainly be a very exciting time. But sometimes that excitement can quickly turn into a range of negative emotions.

Sometimes trying to conceive may take much longer than we hoped or even worse, may lead to a diagnosis of infertility.

Infertility for most couples is not just a physical condition but an emotional one as well. Chances are you have already felt many negative emotions over a short or even a long period of time, including:

• Frustration
• Anger
• Resentment
• Jealousy of others who are pregnant
• Depression
• Isolation
• Loss of control

Couples may feel like their road to reproduction has totally consumed them, dominating their lives and routines. This can lead couples to become exhausted emotionally and physically due to the pressures and commitments required when trying to conceive or undergoing assisted reproductive techniques.

Luckily, there is now a great deal more support for couples diagnosed with infertility. More than ever, we better understand and can deal with the emotional issues due to this condition. It is for this reason that it is so important for infertile couples to make contact with other infertile couples, support groups or fertility counsellors who can make a big difference to the emotional well being of these couples. Fertility organisations (as well as the doctors and nurses who work there) can also provide fantastic support and resources.

Some things you can do to help yourself through include:

• Setting yourself a realistic and long term view. While you may be very keen to have treatment over and done with as soon as possible, you’ll be in better shape mentally and physically if you can set yourself a steady treatment timetable – even schedule a holiday for yourselves if it permits! Understanding as much about your treatment as possible can really help here, as you will be better informed on what to expect and how you should set your goals.
• Let yourself realise and accept how you feel if you have reached your ‘limit’
• Try not to dwell on the short term ups and downs of trying to conceive / your treatment
• Try having sex with your partner for fun, without the pressure of trying to conceive during your ‘non-fertile’ stages of your cycle. Bring back the romance!
• Consider alternative treatments if you feel they could be of benefit or if your current treatment has become overwhelming
• Seek support if you feel you need it
• If you are charting your cycle, take a break. You can always start again another time