Breastfeeding Dr Seuss Style — Very Funny!

Breastfeeding Dr Seuss Style -- Very Funny!
Photo: Ron Ellis / Shutterstock.com

Many of us grew up with the quirky and entertaining Dr Seuss books… from ‘The Cat in The Hat’ to ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.’ They are fantastic books that were not only written to help children to read, but to ignite their imagination. After all, imagination is everything!

I thought it was pretty imaginative when I saw this breastfeeding parody of Dr Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham many years ago. So it’s time to dust the cover and give it another whirl. It still makes me laugh, every time I read it!

So enjoy this hilarious version of Green Eggs and Ham, which over the years, has had parents in stitches, all over the globe! Note: we’ve also made the alternating gender into one to make it easier to read.

Breastfeeding… Dr Seuss Style

Would you nurse her in a park?
Would you nurse her in the dark?
Would you nurse her with a boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse her in the park.
I would nurse her in the dark.
I’d nurse with or without a boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk til dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her til she’s full.

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy’s milk is the best start!

Would you nurse her at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse her at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have a perfect explanation.
Mommy milk is tailor made
It’s perfect food, you need no aid.
Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.

To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast’s the perfect food.
I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would never be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk’s the perfect food!

We make the right amount we need,
The perfect temp for every feed.
There’s no compare to milk from breast
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can’t be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I’ll meet her needs, I’ll always try.
It’s not about what’s good for you,
It’s best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads, leave me be ma’am
I will nurse her, MOM I am.

— author unknown, we’ll add it as soon as we find it!

So, what did you think of breastfeeding, Dr Seuss style? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below!

 

 

CONTRIBUTOR

Kelly Winder is the creator of BellyBelly.com.au, a doula, writer and mother to three awesome children. Currently, she's travelling the world for 12 months with her partner and children, and hopes to inspire more families to do the same. Visit aroundtheworldpluskids.com.au for more information.


14 comments

  1. Oh this made me smile and cry. My little one drank drank and drank mommy milk until one day when she said no more. She was about 2 months old. I miss the closeness.

  2. You got that right! Nurse and if you need help call La Leche League. 1. 800 la leche. Nursing mothers who help over the phone. Next we talk about NOT circumcising.

  3. I loved this.. It me all over with all 4 children and if anyone says something to me they better rhn and hide cause mummy bear come to say hello..

  4. I chose to up-size by one to bigger tees, and thereby was able to comfortably – for myself and others’ sake both! – tuck our hungry son under the bottom edge and breastfeed him virtually everywhere we went. Totally loved the 14mo experience I had, and highly recommend to every mommy!

  5. Oh look! Yet another attempt to shame women who are unable or unwilling to exclusively breastfeed under the guise of supporting nursing women. And it rhymes!

    1. It’s a poem, and it’s funny. It’s not saying:

      If you formula feed in the park
      You silly mummy, what such a lark!
      If you choose to feed from a bottle
      Your ridiculous decision I will forever throttle
      I will not support you, bottle feeding person
      Now move right along, before the poem will worsen….

      1. No, it’s just saying:

        We make the right amount we need,
        The perfect temp for every feed.
        There’s no compare to milk from breast
        The perfect food, above the rest.

        Translation: Women who don’t give their children breastmilk are inferior mothers.

        Let’s just ignore the fact that an estimated 1 in 20 women does NOT make enough milk to support an infant. Or that breast milk is deficient in Vitamin D and iron.

        1. Do you have any evidence for that? Because it’s not true. Iron in breastmilk is less than formula because it’s not needed at that level; vitamins and nutrients from natural foods are more readily absorbed and gentler on the gut. Why do you think formula is packed full of iron? Also, when we stop cutting baby’s cords immediately, we’ll see less iron deficiency. A cord immediately cut denies a baby of 1/3 of it’s blood volume, and every study on cord clamping has found higher iron levels in newborns with delayed clamping – in fact enough for months worth of iron stores. Thankfully the UK has seen the light and after years of campaigning is adding it to care guidelines.

        2. That is ridiculous and simply not true. Studies upon studies show that breastmilk is the best thing for babies and there simply is no refuting that point. That being said this poem is just light hearted and silly and meant to shame the people that glare and judge breastfeeding mothers who nurse in public not shake a finger at mothers who do not or cannot nurse. By your comments it would seem that there is a guilt and judgment on yourself which is why you are so quick to assume others, or a simple poem, are judging you as well. I breastfeed but if I see a mother doing formula my assumption is that she is doing the best for her baby and for herself as I am doing for mine.

        3. I got that message too, and I happen to be a mom who tried desperately to EBF, but couldn’t. Thanks for standing up for moms who feel shamed by this kind of attitude. Breastfeeding is marvelous, but there is nothing wrong with formula, if that is your option or your choice. Anyone who says differently needs to check their privilege, and mind their business.

  6. That was fabulous! Some new moms may need this to feel more comfortable nursing in public. I suggest you print that out and give a copy to anyone who thinks what you are doing should be in my bathroom! Stand up for your rights, mommies! And stand up for your babies’ rights, too! . .

  7. All I have to say is u could not of put it any better. To all mums out there love that feeding time it goes to fast and such a lovely time. I know as I was only able to feed one out of three kids.

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