welcome Jason and of course you're cool to post in here.
For those who don't know me, my name is Janice but everyone here calls me sushee. I suffered from secondary infertility due to blocked tubes from an unsuccessful tubal ligation reversal. My
DH and I TTCed for 3 years naturally before starting IVF and 5 stim cycles and 3 FETs later, we finally had success. We now have a son, almost 2, named Charlie.
I do feel differently with Charlie than I did with my 3 older kids (all teenagers now) but I don't know if that has to do with being older or being LTTTC, but my suspicions is that it's the latter. I am a far more anxious parent, far more of a perfectionist when it comes to my son, and just holding him close still makes me feel like I won lotto. I thought that last feeling would fade as time went on, but it hasn't at all, in fact I feel like it's become stronger. I work so I do leave him at childcare, plus I study at nights for uni after he's gone to bed, but for me, being separated from him is a means to an end - he's the focus of my ambitions, my love and all I have, so everything I do or try to achieve, I do with him in mind.
While I feel like I love him as much as I love my other kids, I think I have distinct and very powerful feelings of him being somehow more precious because it still all seems to good to be true.
So with this insanity I'll be joining you all in here!