Maddiesmom, welcome to BB and thank you for sharing your story with me. I really do hope for all of you that your son settles down really soon.
Mitch, sorry I missed your post hun. Thank you for sharing with me too. It must have been so very hard sending your DSS away like that. But if he is coping well and becoming a nicer person for it......
Well, my life has been a total screw up since I posted this thread. How wrong was I thinking things couldn't get much worse.
Brandon has not been to school for pretty much most of this year. He has been running away, being gone for days, up to a week at a time and I've had to call the police and put a missing persons report on him. (thankfully this has stopped for now) but this went on for a few months. He'd pack his bag in the morning. Tell me he was going to school and not come home for a week !! So it became a case of me not forcing the issue of him going to school, because if he didn't go I knew where he was and he wasn't out on the streets. I was scared to raise my voice or rock the boat because this too would make him run away.
The truancy officer has become involved and told me that if I didn't have him attending school regularly I would have to go to court.
The school counsellor became more involved and had him do some tests, I also had to fill in a questionaire and based on our results it showed that Brandon was dealing with depression. He was then referred to the mental health unit at our local hospital, we had a home visit and a visit in their offices. During all of this the school counsellor suggested I just keep Brandon at home so we could work on this without having to worry about him taking off. Brandon was also not eating at this time. And had been picked up shoplifting, this is how we got him back one day from running away. He had pinched chocolate and No Dose. Why, because he was hungry and tired
After another weeks disappearing he turned up at my parents house at 9.30 at night.They took him in and called me, fed him up and gave him a shower and bed. And that's where he stayed for the next 7 or 8 weeks. I wasn't asked, it just happened. I have mixed feelings about this. Yes I am extremely grateful for the time, effort, money and love they have given to Brandon. I can't help but feel they thought it was all my fault for the running away and school wagging. Well, when term went back Brandon started wagging school from their house too. His bags were packed and he was sent home.
Brandon is literally an inch from being expelled from school. I have asked him if he wants to go to another school pfft he doesn't even go to this one) and he tells me no. But even if I do find a school to take him, what is the point if he won't go ?
Brandon has been smoking pot, I know this because I have read the sms's in his phone. He was also drinking alcohol. I know that most kids like to experiment but I think it's gone beyond this.
So, where to now. The school and suggested that I put him in a boys home. I can't do this. To me Ithinkn that he will only end up worse with new skills learnt from being in a place where the kids will be worse than him.
I am at a loss now as to what to do. I feel that everything I have tried for him has failed. I have tried, his father tried, very briefly, and my parent's have tried. The school has helped out so much with him and every Tuesday a policeman from the PCYC picks him up and he spends the day out with him doing activities and talking. He tells the officer that all is well and that he is going to go to school, but the next day he wags again.
I don't kid myself anymore, when I say good bye to him in the morning and tell him to have a good day at school. Now I say have a good day wagging. Sad I know. But I am realisitic.
I am worn out from trying to deal with Brandon and his crap. I have had a houseful of sick children and Abbey has been sick for over a month now and not getting any better.
Not sure where to go or where to turn to anymore. Seem's everything that I do and try to do ends up back in my face. Perhaps I should listen to the people who tell me to kick him to the side. But I know I can't. He is MY child. There has to be a reason for all of this, and come hell or high water I will get to the bottom of it.
Now can someone please give me the strength to do it !!