HOw should I deal with this? (6 yr old not listening)

[Salsa]

DS 6yrs has been told where and how to wait for me after school since the start of this school year. If I am walking I will find him, but otherwise he is suppose to check by the main fence. He is suppose to play near that area if I am not there until he see`s me or if he see`s me he is to come out.
I try to park as close as I can to this fence and I wait in (or outside I had to park a bit further from the fence view) the car. I do this because I have a small baby who typically is finally having a much needed sleep and wakes up if I take him out of the car. Its gets hot in the car though and that wouldnt be much of a problem if we were just waiting a few minutes for DS 6 to come straight out of school and get in the car buthe doesnt . I have told him numerous times what the plan is and why its important for him to come straight out and look if Im there, but he preferes to play with friends and dosent bother looking at the fence if I am there - hence me getting very grouchy with him when after 10 - 20 mins of waiting I have to go find him

Its been a whole term now, and this as well as a few other rules that me and DH keep telling him it seems nearly every day, he just doesnt listen or remember. Its so fustrating and Im sick of it and feel bad for going off at him. I hate feeling like the crazy mumma, and last week when I was telling him off on the way home about not coming out after school (I had specifically told him that morning he had to cause he had an after school activity which he has every week) he pretty much ignored my fume and told me that I was just being angry for no reason - ie; he thought it was all my own issue.

What should I do?
How should I discipline him if he keeps doing this?
Am I expecting too much of a 6 year old?

[~Jo~]

Ahh sorry...it can be frustrating! I personally think its a little much to expect at this age. I always picked the kids up outside the classroom at that age as they would definately be prone to distraction!

Jo

[ControlFreak]

How frustrating for you. I def don't think you are asking too much - I'll bet he is where he needs to be when his teachers ask him!

On the other hand - I guess that kids are fairly egocentric at that age and when he weighs up playing vs meeting you - playing wins. There needs to be a greater incentive (in his mind) to make the "choice" to do as his mum asks. Maybe you could visit a park or get an icecream on the way home some days (surprise him) so he'll think twice about NOT doing as you ask as he won't want to miss a treat.

Just an idea - I'm not a mum (yet) but have taught kindergarten! (never again)

K

[~clover~]

I think its an age thing too
Do the teachers keep an eye on them after school? Maybe you could have a word to them about him waiting for you inside the gate/where ever & them chasing him up.
Most schools have a one gate rule & our last had a teacher on gate duty & kids weren't allowed to go til they'd been mentally marked off & sent with adult/bus/older child. However that child usually went home.
But then if he nicks off to the playground there wouldn't be much they can do!
Maybe give him a book or something specially to read while he is waiting. If he is in Kinder he's probably confused with the time of day too. Outside = playtime!
He should get used to it soon. It took DD1 a while