I assumed...........

[mamasmurf]

Okay this isn`t a description of what happened to me but I still find writing it down upset me too much(ive done it on paper) so i wrote this.


I assumed that being pregnant would mean small concessions not penalty,
I assumed I would be treated with respect not indignity,
I assumed that choices that I made would not be in vain,
I assumed that months later I wouldn`t still be in pain,
I assumed that when I was too ill to look after myself someone would care,
I assumed that I would not be called a coward, be judged or have them glare,
I assumed that I was too young to have these complications,
I assumed that I was in control of the situation,
I assumed that they`d have the decency to tell me what had occurred,
I assumed I`d receive support or at least a kind word,
I assumed that my loved ones would not be left to cope alone,
I assumed that they`d at least said I wasn`t dead and gone,
I assumed that they would first cause no harm.


I guess what Iam trying to say is that my experience of pregnancy and childbirth has taught me never to assume anything ever again.Now I am beginning to emerge from the other side of what has been an ordeal- only just under a year later.
Now I will always have the will to stand up for my own convictions.I will never stand abuse.I will alway try to be informed and I will probably be more of a control freak than ever but at least I will be true to myself.
Now I will start the process of making complaints about how badly I have been treated.

[Berenice]

Wow, I got 2 things out of your post - 1 *You've had a very traumatic experience, and 2 *You are determined to make it right, and you have the conviction to do so.

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, but I'm glad you have the strength to change it. Let us know how you go with the complaints chicky

[littlelara]

I'm sorry too.
I hope you can find the answers and the closure that you need and deserve.
Hugs

[Yowie]

I'm so sorry for whatever happened to you .

[annamp]

I assumed all thoes things too. Now after 5 traumatic hospital births
I "know" if I birth this baby in hospital that
I will not be treated with respect
the choices that I have made will have all been in vain
that months later I will still be in pain
when I am too ill to look after myself no-one will care
I will not be in control of the situation
and all the other things we assume but get so wrong.
That is why we (DH & I) are not going to place our trust in the mw or doctors again, they have had their chances. And with that they abused me physically and emotionally. We are homebirthing this time ON OUR OWN. I dont need anyone to 'deliver' my baby, my body knows how to give birth without any 'interference' from anyone eles.
I wish that I had the courage to oficially complain about what happened to me in hospital but I feel too ashamed and embarassed.
Good luck to you with everything, especially being true to yourself.
Best wishes. Anna

[littlelara]

Oh, Anna, I'm so hurt for you, too.
Please let us know how you go
many hugs to you