How to discipline: DD1 pushing DD2 a lot

[RoyaUK]

Hi,

I'm keen to see what others do in this situation. My DD1 (2 yrs 8mths) keeps pushing my DD2 (1yr) over. I think it's just to get our reaction as it doesn't seem to happen when i'm not watching e.g. when washing up and can't see them.

I think it happens more at the weekend as i've noticed recently my husband saying 'stop pushing' a lot and i really don't experience it in the week. Maybe DD1 is trying to get his attention.

Even if this is the case, how do we get her to stop pushing over her sister? We've tried telling her again and again but it doesn't stop.

What kind of discipline do you think is appropriate?

[Nadine]

My DD doesn't have a sibling yet, but when she does things that are not on she gets a warning that if she does it again she has to go in the corner and she gets a reason why she shoudln't do it. If she does it again she then has to go into the corner for 3min (as her age). She use to get out of the corner but I would physically put her back in there untill she stayed there. Then I counted the minutes. Sometimes she is in the corner for less because it doesn't take her long these days to realise what she did wrong and I then go over to her we talk about why she was in there, she says sorry and then we have a hug. Then it is all forgotten about.

This works a treat for us.

ETA: We use the corner less and less these days too. I think the warning seems to be enough because she knows the consequences if she does it again. And she doesn't like the corner LOL.

[[M]umma[M]ia]

My neice (19 months) has just started kicking her brother (5 months) when he is on the floor. It is an attention thing on her part and abit of jealousy i think.
not too sure on the punishing thing, rather than time out.

[BekZ]

My DD3 has just started to push my 1 yo over and do things like grab her on her wrist and pull her. At kindy DD3 is taught has been taught to keep her hands to herself, so I just ask her to keep her hands to herself. However, when doing this I get up close to DD and look her in the eyes. I also ask her why she has pushed/pulled etc and I try and get her to verbalise her actions and reasons. Then I mediate and explain to DD that dd2 is only a baby and doesn't understand. This seems to be working, I just keep my actions consistent.

[snugglybean]

Try drawing her attention to the consequences, while giving minimal attention to her. A line like "Your sister is upset because you pushed her. I'm going to have to cuddle her for a long time until she feels better." (while cuddling the younger one, avoid eye contact or conversation with the older one, just talk to the younger one)
Build on this by giving the older child lots of opportunities to be a good sister, and heap the praise on when she does it. Use opportunities like "Can you help your sister to get her cup/blanket/shoes/crackpipe/whatever?"

See how that works.

[Jennifer13]

There's a great article in the ABA's latest edition of their mag Essence. It deals exactly with this situation and is perfectly in line with gentle parenting. I've put some of the tips in the article into practice this week and they are spot on!

I'll paraphrase it here when I get home later on.