Is crying it out my only solution? please please help

[Salad]

I have been dealing with this for the last two months and I have pretty much had enough, its just getting ridiculous now.

I am hoping someone can please help me.

Since Georgia turned 7mths her sleep has just been all over the place. She has always been a good sleeper and slept right through from a very early age - I think this is why I am finding it so hard now as I am used to getting my sleep.

From 7mths she started waking up about 2am so I would pop her on the boob she would feed a little and then go straight back to sleep I am talking 5mins and she was sound asleep, then she started waking 2-3 times after midnight, then nearly evey hour.

She usually goes to bed at 9:30pm - I know this is late, but it has never been a problem before, I just cant imagine her going to bed at 7:30pm even though it would be nice if she did. She wakes up after an hour, so I go in and pat her and she goes back to sleep, then half an hour later she is awake again and I cant get her back to sleep for about two hours. By this time its after midnight, she is finally back to sleep but alas an hour later is awake again, I pat her etc she will sleep on my chest but when I go to put her down she wakes up screaming.

I have been putting her into bed with us about 5am and she will sleep soundly till 9 or 10am.

She used to have two day sleeps anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours but I have tried dropping this in the hope she will sleep longer at night. No hope!!!!

She does not eat a lot of solids so I thought she might be hungry but I cant force her to eat, do I offer some formula, or does it not make a difference.

Her bottom two teeth came through at the same time, then two weeks later her top two teeth have come through at the same time, panadol, teething tablets, teething necklaces all make no difference.

Please does anyone have any advice, I fear my only option is to let her cry it out which I dont think my heart can handle.

[MrsB26]

oh no, big hugs to you
I do have some advice but i just dont have the time to type atm, gotta get dinner started etc. I promise to return but i couldnt leave without giving you a big hug. It can be so tiring cant it?

[sterla]

Just subscribing - cause having similar problems. It sucks, huh?

[~Leasha~]

Oh darling

It won't make you feel any better, I know, but we went through MONTHS of this, so I totally hear where you are coming from!


Oh bugger it... Jazz is whinging for bath time. But I WILL be back. Tonight.

[Santosha]

OMG me too. DD has gone from pretty easy to self-settle and 'sleeping through' 8pm-9am with a 5am feed... to fighting every nap (I spent over 3 hours rocking, patting, nursing etc. today and achieved a grand total of 40 mins of nap time) and waking multiple times through the night. No advice I'm afraid - I'm getting desperate for some myself. Just wanted to say I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND how you're feeling. My FB status currently says "Kat passed the end of my tether about 12k ago". HUGE hugs to you.

[Santosha]

Oh, BTW... everything I've read says that good day sleeps contribute to good night sleeping. If they're 'over-tired' and not in a good sleeping pattern, they'll just be more restless at night. I have found, that the days I've given up on trying to settle for naps and just got DD up again, she slept even worse that night. I know it's hard when nap time ends up being more stressful than it seems could possibly be worthwhile, but it may not help to miss the day-sleeps just yet.

Then again... if you find that that tactic works for you... PLEASE use it, and let me know!!! I'll take any trick in the book right now!

[Jellyfish]

We seem to be having this problem in the last week or so. First she woke a few times but now I seem to be up every hour with her and I feel like a zombie so subscribing to get some ideas! It is exhausting

[sneakysparkle]

tbh I think its just a phase, so if you can bear it for a bit longer I think she will grow out of it. Sorry, know that doesnt help, but both my girls have gone through it

[Lolli]

I went through the same thing with ds at this age. Frustrating and exhausting

My best advice would be starting the day sleeps again, and trying an earlier bed time. Sleep breeds sleep and over tiredness will make the problem worse.

Have you tried the book The No Cry Sleep Solution? It's fantastic and her methods really do work as long as your consistent (which is very difficult when you're so tired, I know). It takes a week or two, but well worth it- no crying required

Hang in there hun, I know how much it sux but it can't last forever

[Olive]

i was going to suggest exactly what lori said, get the day sleeps right and hopfully the night sleep with fall back in to place.
have you tried getting DH to try and resettle at night??
sleep deprivation it torture

[Salad]

Gosh I certainly dont feel alone now seems many of you are going through the same thing.
I too have also heard that good day sleeps lead to good night sleeps and in our case that has been true just not recently but I will try and really get this back on track.

big hugs to all others going through the same thing lets hope some more people come and offer some more advice.

[marcellus]

Hi
Yes, definitely get the day sleeps back.
DS was a shocker (and he still has never slept through, just to put that into perspective) from around 6-7.5 months, so a similar age range.
This is a phase that will pass...

TWO things helped us -

1 - Gave up stressing about.
2 - Moved him from his cot to a mattress on the floor where we would co-sleep if he was having a bad night (much easier than getting up and down all the time). He slept much better there till he started teething around 8 months.

NCSS worked for us when he was younger, but not later on. But some of her ideas are still really helpful so I would also recommend Pantley's books.

There are several possibilities to consider - diet, separation anxiety, developmental milestones, teething... sometimes these things drag on and overlap so you never really know what is what. Leaving her to cry won't fix these problems (if that's why she's waking).

Anyway, it sucks. Sometimes you can find a problem and fix it, often you can't - just gotta ride it out and get whatever help you can along the way.

[MummyTummy]

I remember having the same issues when Jett was the same age. I honestly think it is an age related phase.

Jett slept through right from day one (well 6 hours anyway, which is huge for a nb!) and was great up until about 5 months. He then started waking up every hour or so. We managed to figure out this was all to do with the food/hungry thing - he needed solids. But the nightly wakes up just didn't settle after solids was introduced and there was a phase around the 7/8 month mark where he was waking up all the time. And then suddenly he just dropped it back to twice a night, and then once a night which he kept up until just after 12 months. I was exhausted at the time and trying everything to resettle. Lucklily he was really easy to settle, which I put down to us co-sleeping. We would offer a drink of water, put the dummy back in and then go to sleep in spoon position with our arms halding him securely. He usually didn't fight much after that.... until the next time he woke. And FWIW I don't think 9.30 is too late, Jett goes to bed around then too and has for a very long time. That is when he is naturally ready to sleep, so I don't try to change it. Perhaps, if you are able to, just follow her lead. Babies have natural rythyms and I found that every time I tried to tinker with Jett's things started to get out of control. But as soon as I relaxed and went with him again it all settled down.

My advice - Don't fight her on the sleeps. During the day if you notice the tired signs, put her down but if she is still not interested in sleeping get her back up for another 10-15 mins and do a quiet activity like reading a book - but away from her bed. Eventually, she will let herself go to sleep, especially if she thinks you aren't forcing her to, as I think this is when the power plays start. They want to feel in control of their life and they are testing that out in any way they can. They might fight you on the solids too for the same reason, one of the reasons why Baby-led Solids can be beneficial for strong-willed babies. And don't think of it as giving-in to her, think of it as picking your battles. If it isn't going to hurt her then at this age you won't do any long-term damage, or create a monster! Save the power-plays for the 'terrible-twos' when they really test the limits!!

And try to take care of yourself and share the re-settling responsibilities with your DP. It is exhausting but it will pass!

I hope that helps! Or at least gives you food-for thought to adapt it to your situation!

[Santosha]

Well said MT. I think my DD can sense that I'm gearing up for battle every time I put her down and at almost 6 months, she's proving already she's got a warrior spirit!! I am trying to go with the flow and relax a bit... but have also just read the NCSS and am trying to follow the suggested number of naps... bed time routine etc. Our situation actually got worse when I started these things, but I think you're right - bubs could feel my intent to 'make her sleep' and kicked up.

Our bed time music is now a beautiful Buddhist mantra CD - something that connects with my spirit - so at least Mummy gets some chill out time while baby lies wide awake in my arms!

[Tish]

hi everyone,

we have had continual sleep problems with ds since he was 2 weeks old. when he was 9 months old I was in the same place - we have to cry it out, i can't do this anymore. i really didn't want to do that but it felt inevitable.

we scoured the web for "gentle" sleep consultants until we found someone who said they didn't do controlled crying. she did a sleep plan for us and then we spoke to her after bed time every day to get support and tweak the plan if necessary. we could also call during the day for extra questions if we wanted to.

she says you usually get results in 5-6 days (we have a stubborn mooper and it took 3 weeks, she said the most stubborn 9 month old she'd ever dealt with LOL) but we have gone from taking an hour or so of active settling at each sleep time with 6 - 8 wake ups over night to he puts himself to sleep and stays asleep for 10 - 11 hours. he wakes 2 - 3 times overnight but generally self settles within 2 mins.

the method changes depending on your problem and age i think, and there is some crying involved, but you are always there with them, and can pick them up of you feel you need to. i found the course very, very hard to do but tried to think of it as him learning a new skill.

we had tried with the ncss but were too tired to strategise properly! LOL

oh, and i forgot to say that it is mainly for night sleeps though she says day sleeps should improve too. he goes to sleep easily during the day but still only cat naps. but because nights are now so good it seems less of an issue. also what we were trying to achieve was DS falling asleep and re settling without extended intervention from us, so obviously not for everyone here.

anyway, if anyone would like her details please PM me. i'm so glad that i persisted in more gentle methods and didn't just leave him to cry alone.

in any case bl00dy big hugs to all of you, and i hope things are looking up soon. in the meantime just do what you gotta do to make things work for you.

tish
xx

[Salad]

Today I made sure Georgia ate breakfast, she had a 1 hour 15min sleep about midmorning, I also made sure she had a fairly good lunch and she had a 1.5hour sleep this afternoon. I have given her some finger food to chew on while we ate tea and then I fed her some raffertys porridge with banana and yohgurt so she should be full, I have breastfed her and trying to get her to bed now, fingers crossed that we all get a decent nights sleep.
Hope everyone else is going good.

[Jellyfish]

Hope you have a good night Salad!!

[Salad]

Thanks Jitterbug, I did have a great night I feel so energised. It took me 1 hour to get her asleep so 10pm, but she did not wake up until 3am, I fed and changed her and off to sleep straight away, she then woke at 6:30am and I put her in bed with me and we woke up at 9:30am
So I will repeat what I did yesterday and hope for the best tonight. After a little bit of research I am also going to try and get my hands on a copy of The Wonder weeks, sounds like it could be interesting.