HELP! How much sleep should a 2.5 week old need?

[erybery]

HELP! I am at my wits end, my baby Ella is not sleeping, she went for a 17 hour stretch with NO sleep and then the past couple of days have ot been much better. She seems to sleep for about 1 hour max. Im feeding her fairly flexibly every 3 hours, sometimes every 2 or 4. She seems to feed anwhere from 30mins-50 mins each feed then takes well over an hour to settle, get wind out and fall asleep, though alot of times she doesnt fall asleep between the feeds. I feel like I am going insane. I a going to get a referral from my GP for tresillian tomorrow because I am just not coping with this. I feel like a terrible mother as it was a long, hard journey to have her and now I cant even make her happy.

[Santosha]

Erybery! I somehow missed your BA and first I just have to say CONGRATULATIONS!! Even though it possibly doesn't feel so wonderful right now.

Oh hun, sleep deprivation is torture. You're not a bad Mummy. You're doing everything you can for your little girl. Sounds like you're exhausted and need some support and I'm glad you're reaching out. Just don't let anyone (Tresillian or otherwise) make you do anything that you're not comfortable with (eg. leave her to 'cry it out'). I know when you're feeling tired and vulnerable, it's easy to buy into other's 'lines' about what you should be doing and how your baby should be settled. But you're just getting to know her, and she's just getting to know you and this big wide world. Follow your instincts... keep her safe and close... keep yourself as well fed, nurtured and rested as is possible and the two of you will find your way. You CAN and WILL make her happy.

I'm sorry that's not really concrete advice. I'm not much help in that dept as we had the opposite problem - because DD was prem she slept so much she wouldn't even wake to feed and had to have a tube shoved down her throat. Hopefully others will be along soon with some more practical suggestions. Hugs to you in the meantime.

[MantaRay]

Oh hun, you must be exhausted

It is so easy to doubt yourself - the first few weeks are really hard with any baby, let alone one who's not sleeping. But you are not doing anything wrong hun.

Have you got a sling? That can be a fantastic way to get an unsettled baby to sleep - and later on can also help you get some things done or some rest while you are settling them. Another thing that worked wonders for us when DS2 had colic, was a warm bath. Sometimes he's have 3 a day just to calm him down.

I hope Tresillian and your GP are able to find some answers for you so you can get some more sleep soon

[Lulu]

Lulu's prescription -

GO TO BED. Take baby with you. Stay in bed with baby for days at least only getting up to shower and toilet.
DH must bring you food, if you have friends asking if you need help ask for a meal. Don't cook, DH must or get takeway. HIBERNATE and find your rhythms as a mumma.

Watch telly, read crappy mags, roll about and rest, doze and keep dd next to you because that's what she needs right now.

On advice from my MCHN I did this with #2, he was a very unsettled baby and it was the only thing that helped. I also did it for #3 - even though she was pretty Zen I realised how important it was that I stay close and recuperate from the birth.

xoxoxoxoxo

[~Trish~]

Oh you poor love . My DS1 was a very unsettled baby too. He loved to be worn in a baby carrier, so DH and I would take turns carrying him around.

I love Lulu's prescription and I think it is definitely for you .

Babies do get overtired easily and when they are overtired they actually fight sleep rather than welcome it. Overtiredness makes them hyper-alert which is probably why your bub is having trouble sleeping. You have done nothing wrong, it's so hard to get an unsettled baby to sleep.

All I can suggest that you try (and I'm no expert, I'm just throwing an idea to you as a mum who has been there ) is to limit your DD's wake time during the day to around 40 minutes each time before trying to put her down for a nap (or letting her sleep with you, whatever you need to do). So after she has fed, look at the time and watch for her tired signs (grizzling, yawning, jerky movements, etc.). As soon as she is showing tired signs, wrap her up and put her down for her nap. Do whatever you have to do to help her to go to sleep - pat her, cuddle her, put her in bed with you while you nap too, etc.

The less awake time she has, the easier she will be able to sleep (seems weird doesn't it?!). My DD is 8 weeks old and can only handle 40-45 minutes of wake time at a time (this includes feeding time). After she wakes I feed her (she feeds for around 20 minutes), I give her some time to kick around on the floor and when it's been around 40 minutes and she's starting to show tired signs, I wrap her and put her to bed. This has worked really well for us.

If you're finding your bub remains unsettled over the next few weeks I highly recommend getting her looked over by a paediatric chiropractor. They have amazing success with settling unsettled babies. It turns out my DS1 was such an unsettled baby because he had a dislocated shoulder from birth, this was not picked up until he was 10 weeks old after I took him to a chiropractor on the recommendation of a friend. Once it was rectified he was so much happier. But 10 weeks was a long time to deal with an unsettled bub, I was seriously losing the plot. I took DS2 and DD to the chiro when they were 4 weeks old just to rule any problems out so we wouldn't have to go through it again.

I really hope you find something that works for you both soon .

[Ozstar]

hun. I think Lulu is on to something!! I was going to suggest a sling too. I hope that your GP and Tresillian can help. I cant imagine how exhausted you must be.

[Arcadia]

Listen to Lulu!! In some cultures women stay indoors for a month. The first three months is like the fourth trimester - which means you should be resting too.



At this stage I think bubs just needs reassurance and comfort so try to limit visitors and external stimultion. Keep it simple and quiet. Are you breastfeeding? If so, take your top off and undress baby and have heaps of skin on skin...that worked wonders with DD.

GL!

[naturalmum]

Hi there!

the only reccomedations i can make is to try a sling (as other have said), co-sleeping (then u get rest too), as much Breastfeeding as she needs, and lots of bonding/close contact.

i look forward to hearing what works for you

if you get time you could try read (or go onto) Pinky Makay's website, she has written a great book 'sleeping like a baby'

[DarkDreamer]

Hun, lil William is like that too - he's only just started doing it yesterday though, which is a right royal PITA.. big hugs, I know how your feeling *slams head on keyboard and falls asleep*

[Visitor3]

Lulu's prescription -

GO TO BED. Take baby with you. Stay in bed with baby for days at least only getting up to shower and toilet.
DH must bring you food, if you have friends asking if you need help ask for a meal. Don't cook, DH must or get takeway. HIBERNATE and find your rhythms as a mumma.

Watch telly, read crappy mags, roll about and rest, doze and keep dd next to you because that's what she needs right now.

On advice from my MCHN I did this with #2, he was a very unsettled baby and it was the only thing that helped. I also did it for #3 - even though she was pretty Zen I realised how important it was that I stay close and recuperate from the birth.

xoxoxoxoxo

Yes, yes, yes ! This s awesome advice ! I was going to say the same thing. Darl, I really feel for you as I know what it was like with my DD in the beginning .... a blur! I was literally walking in to walls ! After five days of her crying for literally 3 hours and then sleeping 20 minutes here and 15 minutes there, I said right I neeeed sleep ! So I took her into our bed and I have never looked back. Don't worry about people who say you'll never get her out of your bed or you'll spoil her, IT IS NOT TRUE ! Seriously, it is the best thing you can do for her for her mental health, her heart function and immune system. I didn't know any of that as I was never an intentional co sleeper, but once I started to read about it I couldn't believe I didn't know about co sleeping. All she's doing is fighting for survival in this strange new place we call the world. And guess what? 10 weeks and DD started to sleep in her bassinet half the night and by 11 weeks she was sleeping in her bassinet the whole night. Now I really miss her next to me....
Enjoy it while it lasts.... You will get sleep, your baby will get sleep and rest assured the lack of sleep will pass.
Big, big hugs to you and please let us know how you go.
take care

[Pip82]

You poor thing! Sleep deprivation is the complete pits mate! Please don't think that you are a terrible mother because you are fantastic! I definitely think that Lulu is right. Another thing I thought of was having a bath together (if you have a bath) and then getting straight into bed after you have dried yourself with as little on as possible, with you LO just in a nappy. Might have to lay on a towel if your boobs are leaky. Dont for goodness sake do any chores.

Good luck, I hope things improve for you

Pip