Time to stop BFing? Need honest opinions ...

[AndiE]

I need honest opinions about whether or not it's time to wean my 12mo DS. I'm aware of the WHO recommendations that we should BF our tots until they are two, but I'm really starting to think our wonderful BF journey is coming to an end.

The story so far - DS has just got over a very snotty nose which really interrupted our BFing. For over a week he was snuffly, and while he'd BF it wasn't as "thorough" as it had been, if that makes sense. But now, for the past three days (and his nose is ok again), DS has been reluctant to BF at all, particularly at night. He will BF in the early morning but it's a bit sketchy. At night, he looks like he wants to attach, but just as he's about to attach, he pulls away, arches his back and screeches. He's just cutting one of his top front teeth - could his mouth be sufficiently sore enough to interfere?

I achieved my goal of minimum 12 months BFing . However, I was keen to go another few months (just early morning/evening) if DS was willing. And, I return to part-time work on Tuesday.

So ... do you think it might be time to let go of the BFing? Effectively I'm now down to early morning BFing only. I'll miss having that close bond that only DS and I share, but I'm not the type to get too worked up about our BFing journey coming to a conclusion - that day was going to come eventually!

I'm just not sure what to do. Logic tells me I've got nothing to lose, so I should keep persisting ... but it's not like he's 2 months old, he's almost 13 months, and he's a healthy little boy who eats well (and drinks formula well too).

Would welcome opinions.

Cheers, Andie

[~clover~]

I think just keep offering I guess. It's probably just his tooth & I've noticed from DS that things change almost daily in that reguard.
Some days he's on every hour or 2, other days only for sleeps, other days he has BF, then doesn't want it for sleep & will just wriggle around on the bed with me til he finally falls asleep.
I think they get too smart & start realising BF puts them to sleep too! Another reason to refuse!!
He will probably be back to normal tomorrow or the next day

[Rommy'sMummy]

Well done for Bfing for 12 months. What an excellent start for you little man.

I think you might be answering your own question here. It sounds like DS is weaning himself and you have already identified his reduction in need and increasing reluctance.

WHO reccomendations are for the whole world to take into account that many mums do not have access to good foods or drinks for thier little ones like we do here.

If he is doing well on eating and drinking otherwise and is healthy and happy AND becoming reluctant to BF then I think follow his lead. He will know when he is ready to stop. Teething and a cold combined is maybe stepping in when he might have otherwise kept going but thats what happens as our babies grow up.

Again, well done. But I think follow his lead and see how it goes.

[sazzafrazz]

Oh I remember feeling EXTREMELY sad that my BF days were finished. My story is a bit different to yours though as DD was 8months when she decided to end it.

The way you describe your DS arching away and screaming is just what DD did but she also bit me (with all 4teeth) with every attempt to attach. She also appeared to want to nurse, just as your DS looks like he is about to attach. I persevered for 6weeks before I gave in because she did really want to feed and, as you describe, would occasionally but not as well as previously.

I guess my decision was made for me as she still needed so much milk being only 8months at the time so I weaned her over to EBM then FF. I am not sure what to advise you with your DS being over the magic 12months. Congratulations on succeeding for so long though!

If you are worried about missing that magical moment in the day of BF, I did too but I still get a similar feeling with my DD. She is now 14months old and has her morning/evening bottles lying in my lap, cradled like a little baby. She holds the bottle and I use my spare hand to stroke her body and face/hair and we stare lovingly into each others eyes. It is just as nice as BF I think.

Hope my experience helps a bit. Sorry I dont have anything else to offer though.

[AndiE]

Thanks guys for your replies.

Rachel - DH often tells me I answer my own questions. I think I'm one of those types who "thinks out loud" . I think I will just follow his lead and see what happens.

Sazzafrazz - I like to cuddle DS when I give him a bottle to. I'm hearing you loud and clear about being able to look lovingly into their eyes and stroke their hair etc. You're right ... we can still have that close bond without the BFing.

Bjrose - sounds like your little boy is doing well in the BFing department. Good for you! Hopefully this is just a phase my DS is going through, but it wouldn't surprise me to find he's ready to wean. Guess I'll wait and see.

Andie

[Gigi]

i think he is communicating with you as best as a 12 month old can!

i'm sure if he DOES want breastmilk, you'll know about it, he'll point, or gesture or let you know somehow.

I would just leave the offer open, breakfast and go to bed time - if he takes you up on that - fine, if he doesn't, still fine.

He'll be your darling bub whether he weans or not, it just might happen earlier than you thought.

Congrats on the 12 months, that's great.

Sometimes, bubs make up for feeding poorly whilst sick, to feeding heaps AFTERWARDS to rebuild their strength. it's hard to struggle to breathe AND feed at the same time.

i think you and he will work this out, purely by time passing.