Younger Couples Chat - Jan/Feb 2008

[Astrolady]

Hello and welcome to the Younger Couples Chat thread. Please feel free to come in & chat about any issues surrounding being a younger couple TTC or parenting.

Your Moderators are:

Lea - lea13@bellybelly.com.au
Chloe - dachlostar@bellybelly.com.au Senior Moderator
Sarah_H - sarah_h@bellybelly.com.au Administrator

Continuing on from here

[Dedicated_mummy]

another new thread, yay im number 1!

[~Sally~]

Damn... i'm second

going to read the other thread now lol....

[dragoncookie]

I got confused and couldn't find it because it's been labelled differently. I'd say we'll have been through this thread by Feb 1st anyway - i mean that's four days worth of chatter! :P
This is probably a rant i should make more exclusive to my belly buddies but i'll have a whine here anyway. I am 36 weeks tomorrow, and i am so over being pregnant. I'm sick of people asking me "how's bubby?" and why not just "how's mummy?", like i no longer am important. That and i can so obviously tell how bubby is - and yet then they wonder why i always answer "i don't know" followed by a string of body/hormonal/emotional complaints that are really the best answer i can give to that question. It's Anthony's 21st today and i've just been so upset because i feel like i can't do anything. I don't have the energy to go out of my way to make a nice meal, we can't afford to go out for dinner on our own, we can't get to the beach to spend the day 'out', all we're doing is cleaning, unpacking and still 'moving in'. Over the last four days my hormones have been out of control. I swear i haven't stopped crying. It's driving me mental because not only can i not stand it but it interrupts my breathing, making me cough so hard i throw up. And then i end up with bad dehydration headaches. To which point i've exhausted myself from crying but can't sleep, snooze or nap because my head hurts. Argh.

I ended up going in to the hosp for a check up on saturday because i couldn't stop worrying about bubby and the midwife who was looking after to me was such a dismissive cow. I was really quite annoyed because she did the how old are you, first baby? questions and then just turned into a cow like i was wasting her time. I felt like slapping her in the face and saying hello, the concerns im having should be evident in any first time mother don't criticise me because of my age. GRRRR, hope she's not on shift when i go into labour.

Anyhow, sorry for my big rant.

[~Sally~]

Kass... BIG HUGS I'm going to tell you my story and it's very hard for me to say... but i'm hoping it might help you, I hoping you will realise there is light at the end of the tunnel and that who you are now is so much higher and important than what they will ever be. (i'm sorry it's long, and i'm sorry your getting my life story!)

I was teased and assulted throughout highschool, I was unable to complete yr 11 or 12 as these people were also continuing on. Even after i left school they would come into my place of work and harrass and assult me. I was on anti-depressants at 16. Throughout Highschool I thought I was the lowest form of scum.... because thats the way I was treated. At 18 I entered into a relationship with a "no-name" guy. A month into our relationship I suffered my very first M/C, I bought a house also which didn't help finacially. Our relationship lastest only 8 months in that six months I was beaten, emotionally abused and also raped. With help from a very dear person who happened to be "no-names" best mate I was able to kick him out and lock him out of my house. For 2 months I had rocks thrown, eggs, fruit/vegies ect. Nigel and I crossed paths, I discovered i was pg and there was no way that I could keep the baby and had a termination. I was now in a deep spiral of anti-depressants and was VERY suicidal. Nigel took me under his wing, he helped me through everything and when I starting cutting he was there, I even made him cry. I eventually sold my house as "no-name" wasn't going to leave me alone. After a "naughty evening" I became pg again, before I told Nigel I suffered another m/c. Nigel I started to make a life together, we moved into a rental together, I got another job and it was like a fresh start. I was able to start coming of off anti depressants at 19. 8 months after moving in together it was discovered that I was pg, we were both so happy, but at 16 weeks I had a threatned m/c and was unable to work anymore, therefore we were unable to continue renting and moved into Nigel's nana's. a month later Nigel got his job 4 hrs away.... we were going to be a family. When my waters broke at 28wks I was excited that I was going to meet my baby, little did I know how serious waters breaking that early was until we got to the hospy. After the first night I started to become deepressed again, on the inside.

Anyway, I'm starting to dribble.... it comes down to after being in hospy and finally being home I was happy for the first time in a long time. I had a beautiful little boy that depended so dearly on me and me alone. No-one could take feed times off me cos no-one could feed him (i bf) I finally felt in control and I finally had a purpose in life. Kass Bella is beautiful and DP and her are all you need. Bella depends on you to look after her and she is your reason to shut these girls out, she is your reason to try and move on, especially for her sake. it is a hard road but I have faith in the fact that you can do it!

Take Care

[~Sally~]

Ash, I never experienced that part while pg, but after brendan was born that's all I got, except from my family, they were more worried about me. It doesn't make sense to ask you how's bubby? its supposed to be how do you feel? ect.... i'm sorry you feel the way you do.

[Bonham08]

Ladies i'm sorry to hear some of you had terrible times while at school.

Ash- i'm sorry to hear you were worried and that you got a dismissive midwife.

When i went to the hospital Thursday morning they put me on the CTG and that was all fine but because my contractions werent regular the midwife wanted to send me home!!!, so she went off and talked to someone else (i think a dr, not sure) and she came back and told me to go and wait in the birthing suite and that i wasnt allowed to leave the hospital.

Also i've uploaded some photos in my gallery if you guys want to have a squizz.

Sorry that i havent done personals, but i tried to read all the posts since i posted last.

[alioops]

I too was an outcast at school. but now i am generally quite accepted. my MW's never attempted to give me the 'you're too young' talk because i was quite read up on things and when i got a bad attitude from any of them i stood my ground. there was only 1 who was a bit dissmissive but she was not my regular MW and i basically told her that i would make my own decision (she was anti water births) and so that was 1 very short appointment

I don't look as young as i am tho so most people are shocked when i tell them how old i am coz i dont act like a normal 21 year old. most people guess 28.

jo, i am about to look at your gallery - typing one handed atm

DH has a bottle 4 em so now i can get my hand back!

ummmmm, think that will do for now, i may write more later

[Dedicated_mummy]

Ash: Just relaxe, and take it easy. After u have bubs u'll b like, "Y did i get myself in2 a crying state!" U havent got long 2 go, so enjoy what time 2 have left of just u and DP. Clints 21st was when i was pg also, so i know how u feel, i just wanted 2 b able 2 party with him and make it fun but i got tired real early and frustrated and pretty much in a crying state. It's just hormones but DONT let them get the best of u!

Sally: Thanx so much 4 sharing that with me i really appreciate it. I know im not the only one and others, such as urself have been through alot worse then me but it just sticks, i wish it didn't but it does. I really just want an oppotunity 4 them 2 c me one night where i look really good and i get the chance 2 walk right by them and show them how c through they r 2 me now. Coz it used 2 b me crying and them getting the satifaction they were looking 4. I thank god i have Bella as i dont even want 2 think where i might b now without her. Thanx again Sally and 2 the other ladies.

[~Sally~]

Jo, Sophie is gorgeous!!! Well done How are you settling in at home?

Kass, your welcome

[~Sally~]

Have uploaded a new video... btw i'm not the best videoer! LOL!

This one is of him Crawling
This one is of his New Noise

Enjoy

Hey every one!!
WOW lots of serious chatter been going on in here!!
I didnt go through such harsh bullying at school. I dont like the way some kids can get so harsh, and for what reason?? Grr it makes me so angry!
Ash Im sorry to hear about the cow midwife. I havent had a problem at my hossy, i think mainly for the fact they actually deal with the majority of the city's 'younger' mums in the special adolescents clinic. So i think dealing with it every day they kinda get over all the judgementalness. I think as time goes by they wont judge so much because us females are starting to start our families younger now Hope all is going well though! With you and your bub.
Ive been feeling 'hiccups' its so adorable, but i can imagine it getting annoying as bub grows older.

[~Sally~]

Aren't the hiccups awesome!! Brendan had the hiccups everyday since my waters broke until the day he was born! It was such an unusual feeling!!

I'm a little nervous, Brendan has his 8 month corrected age check at KEMH tomorrow with his Paed. Will let you all know how it goes and will update his website before I go, so you guys can see just how much he's grown

Take Care, Goodnight

[BeautifulMadness]

Originally Posted by ashnant

I got confused and couldn't find it because it's been labelled differently. I'd say we'll have been through this thread by Feb 1st anyway - i mean that's four days worth of chatter! :P
This is probably a rant i should make more exclusive to my belly buddies but i'll have a whine here anyway. I am 36 weeks tomorrow, and i am so over being pregnant. I'm sick of people asking me "how's bubby?" and why not just "how's mummy?", like i no longer am important. That and i can so obviously tell how bubby is - and yet then they wonder why i always answer "i don't know" followed by a string of body/hormonal/emotional complaints that are really the best answer i can give to that question. It's Anthony's 21st today and i've just been so upset because i feel like i can't do anything. I don't have the energy to go out of my way to make a nice meal, we can't afford to go out for dinner on our own, we can't get to the beach to spend the day 'out', all we're doing is cleaning, unpacking and still 'moving in'. Over the last four days my hormones have been out of control. I swear i haven't stopped crying. It's driving me mental because not only can i not stand it but it interrupts my breathing, making me cough so hard i throw up. And then i end up with bad dehydration headaches. To which point i've exhausted myself from crying but can't sleep, snooze or nap because my head hurts. Argh.

I ended up going in to the hosp for a check up on saturday because i couldn't stop worrying about bubby and the midwife who was looking after to me was such a dismissive cow. I was really quite annoyed because she did the how old are you, first baby? questions and then just turned into a cow like i was wasting her time. I felt like slapping her in the face and saying hello, the concerns im having should be evident in any first time mother don't criticise me because of my age. GRRRR, hope she's not on shift when i go into labour.

Anyhow, sorry for my big rant.

Ashlea, lol hate to say this to ya but get very use to it. its gunna happen alot because of you're age. i got it alot when i was pg with Ashley. and it doesnt get really much better. Its all about bubbs now. i get it, hows ashley? is he being cheeky? never hi jess how r u? you get use to it but doesnt mean you have to stand for it. As for the silly midwife that was very rude of her. i remember when i took ashy to the hospital as he was throwing up and just didnt look well. and the lady i got was a friggin idiot who thought i didnt know my own son, turns out he had gastro. i got really upset when i got home cause i was like he is MY son im his mummy i think i know him. its you're body and you're bubbs so you know best whats going on first time mum or not.

[Dedicated_mummy]

OMG!!!! I just watched ur videos Sally, his soooooooo cute!
I think the noise sounds like singing hahahaha. Hes got the most beautiful BIG blue eyes! Good luck with his check up, in my books he's perfect!

[Dedicated_mummy]

oh yeah and also ash, some ppl r just ****s i mean theres no better way 2 put it. The thing that ****es me off is they thing they have a right 2 an opinion and that u really want 2 hear it! Im not sure if its this forum that i told a storey oh well ill tell it anywho.
I went 2 my family dentist when i was about 4 months pg, shes about 27yrs old and really nice, this time i went she said "So y did u keep ur baby?" The worst thing is she didn't see anything wrong with what she said.
What im trying 2 say is there's ppl out there that always HAVE 2 have there 2 cents worth, the best thing is u have 2 b sjtrong now 4 ur bubs and let it b water off a ducks back. Dont let fools get 2 u coz weather ur young and pg or not somebody is always going 2 disagree with something ur doing.
Bella had the hiccups all the time! The only time it got annoying was when i was going 2 bed, i ended up not noticing it and falling asleep 2 it. She still gets them all the time now hehehe shes so cute!
Jess i understand what u mean i ended up one MCHN appt saying 2 the lady ,who wasn't my usual lovely lady, "Can u go and get some else coz ur horrible." The best thing is i said it really nice, so it got 2 her even more. Im still not sure where i got the bust of balls 2 do it, Bella i guess.

[~Sally~]

Jess, SO TRUE! Although my family have ALWAYS asked how I was/am even when in hospital. I'm their priority and Brendan is mine. BUT DP's family.... well you all kinda get how his mum is... she wasn't interested in either of us. I think the only reason she came to visit us was so that no-one could say that she didn't come! Brendan got another infection (on top of the one he already had) and got really sick when I told her she said "oh well" 6 hours later he gave up and had to be resus'd and put back onto life support. Actually it was only really strangers that asked how bubs was first and most of DP's family. DP was more concerned about me too.

Oooops I went a little of subject there!! haha.

Kass, thanks so much I'll let you know how he goes. I know everything will be fine the only problem I can see the paed having with him is the reflux. It's getting worse Anyhoo she might be able to help me correct it anyway!

Take Care

[Bonham08]

Sally- thanks for looking at the photos , we're settling in well at home just trying to work out whats best for us (as in a routine), although she's a boobie baby i'm now expressing my milk and giving it to her in a bottle as my nipples are inverted and i was using a nipple shield which i couldnt use forever so we had a few attachment issues so i made the best decision for both me & Sophie but she's loving her BB juices haha. She hasnt done a dirty nappy yet, just wet ones but i think shes getting closer and closer to leaving me a "present" in her nappy. Although she was 7pounds 11 ounces at birth shes in 0000's and they seem a little big but im not going to bother buying any 00000's as she might not be in them long enough to worry about.