Use of Tickers In Miscarriage & Loss Forums

[Inanna]

[COLOR="Purple"]We ask members to disable their pregnancy tickers when posting in the M & L forums. Obviously pregnancy tickers are fine in the Pregnancy after stillbirth forum and the Pregnancy after loss forum but in all other Miscarriage and Loss forums we ask that you disable them.

Seeing a pregnancy ticker flash at you when you are grieving your baby is very confronting and insensitive to those who have had losses.

It is a simple process to disable your ticker scroll down to Miscellaneous Options and then untick the box that says: show your signature.

Thankyou everyone for respecting this request...[/COLOR]

[Inanna]

[mummy of many]

This is Political correctness gone totally wrong.....I mean my god,we lost our son at the age of 8 years & I`ve had two MC,but choose not to show it as my kids don`t know about them it was so very long ago.

but I was thinking along the lines of,if people on here know you have suffered a loss,they know how your feeling,know what your been through...etc....they might like to PM,us for some support if they know you have been through such a tragic event.

Other peoples Signatures don`t bother me,it`s a forum......why should they be hidden!!
Sorry,but I would rather be open...& honest and if i could help anyone through such a dissressing time in someones life I would do what i could.....but how would they know what we have been through.......if they can`t read our Signatures!!!!!

[Inanna]

If you have an issue Mummy of Many you need to take it off the forums.

PREGNANCY TICKERS are asked to be disabled in Miscarriage and Loss forums (obviously not the pregnany after miscarriage and loss) and in the LTTC forums.

It's a testament to your personality that you did not find it confronting immediately after losing your children. Others do find it confronting and we aim to be sensitive to our members. When such a simple thing as disabling your PREGNANCY ticker can be less in your face for a grieving parent - I am really surprised that this would be a problem for another member.

Again, if you have any other issue you need to PM myself or another mod.

[diannescruffy]

I have been disabling my ticker but there has been times I've forgotten so I will try to remember to disable all the time when posting in M/L.
Susan I'm sure it's ok to mention in your posting that you have suffered a loss so the person knows that you know exactly what they are going through, sometimes just seeing a picture of a newborn/baby or seeing a preggy belly can be very distressing in the early stages of grief. I hope you can understand this.

Regards,
Dianne

[mrsmac]

Recently in those threads I have disabled my ticker, its for DS who is nearly 3, do I need to disable that or is leaving that OK?

[~ Mylitta ~]

I must admit that after I lost my little angel I found it very difficult to look at things like pregnancy tickers and imagine the joy others were experiencing, while I was going through the most heart-wrenching time of my life. I in no way wished for others not to be experiencing that joy, but I just found it hard to be confronted with it at the time.

While I'm all for freedom of speech etc etc... I agree completely with the mods' choice to request people disable their pregnancy tickers in particular forums for sensitivity reasons.

[Rouge]

mrsmac, I would probably suggest turning it off for the entire forum, as that is consistent with the guidelines that we have set.

Thank you lovely ladies for being understanding.

[boomba]

I didn't know this but it totally makes sense! I will be more vigilant in the future! Sorry.

[Lisa]

Susan,

When I disable my ticker, I then go and write my own ticker at the bottom of the post like this;

______________________
DS1-15 DD-11 DS2-2
Noah Thomas - Born an angel Feb 06 (20w5d)
Little Wing - 2007


When I lost Noah I personally found it very confronting to see people as far along in their pregnancy as what I should have been... it was hard all over the forums, but especially hard in the Miscarriage & Loss sections as that is where I felt I needed to be, with people who understood me.

[Inanna]

That is a lovely and thoughtful idea Lisa...

I know I did too - not because I wasn't happy for them - it was just a reminder of where I should have been - and it seemed to freshen the grief all over again...

Going by the concerns and my overflowing inbox there are many who feel the same way - hopefully this will help honour their pain and ease their grief...

[mrsmac]

[QUOTE=Niliac;1769646]mrsmac, I would probably suggest turning it off for the entire forum, as that is consistent with the guidelines that we have set.

Thank you lovely ladies for being understanding.[/QUOTE]

Thats what i figured Cai, and TBH if I had just lost a bub I don't want to know about anyone's kids no matter how old.

[PrincessXanthe]

I'm just curious, is there a way to disable pregnant avatars as well, or does this not upset people as much? I remember (in a different way) taking a while to conceive and seeing tickers disabled but a big pregnant avvy hurt sometimes. (Sorry, I know I have an avvy now, I wish I could disable it sometimes).

[Papillon]

I think this is a totally fair and respectful thing to ask for. If ever in my post's my sig is showing, just edit or PM me.. as i seem to always just forget! But, the second i know i have forgotton i go back and change it.

[Inanna]

[missymoo84]

such a small thing but so important

[christy]

[color="Purple"][b]I just want to bump this as a reminder to those who are unsure as to what our policy is here at BellyBelly. We want everyone to feel comfortable and at ease, we are [i]not[/i] saying that you are unable to have tickers. We [i]are[/i] saying that everyone needs to be supportive and mindful of each other for a community to work nicely.

Thank you for your cooperation. If you disagree with the moderators and administrators ruling on this, I suggest you PM an administrator or moderator.[/color][/b]