:( Very sad

[poppihome]

I can't believe this is happening to us, again! I had my first U/S after a successful IVF/FET cycle. I was feeling all the right things at the right time and my HCG level's have been good but the U/S was not.
Our litte one was behind in growth by a week and the yolk sac was bigger then it should of been, but there was a little heart beat that we saw. It was there but a little slower then it should of been. The Doctor was not mucking around and said that he would give us 10 more days before another U/S but it probably was not going to end well.......WHAT!!!! We are understandly devastated. This was the first time that we have seen a heart beat and it makes it all the harder to deal with. My poor little Banana Peanut was not meant to be.
Today I have lost all of my pregnancy signs and I think that I am starting to spot very light pink.
I am very sad but grateful that it didn't happen later in my pregnancy, I have had to see my poor cousin go through losing a 5 mth pregnancy just recently. I guess there is always worse situations to be in.
I have rung my Dr to say how I feel about loss of signs and they want me to come in for BT on Monday, and hopefully I will have a D&C next week. Please just let this end if it suppose to. My history is:
Blighted Ovum - Sept 06 - Naturally conceived
3x early chem pregnancies since Feb 07 - IUI/IVF

We just really need a break!! It feels good to write this all down here.
My heart is breaking but it will heal and we will have another FET as soon as we can and see what happens. We have one little embie frozen, but after that we have decided enough is enough. We are going to poor our money and time and energy into international adoption, at least we know that we will have a family at the end of the process, that can't be gauranteed from fertility treatment.
Thanks Belly Belly for having these forums it really helps to vent.
Love to all
T

[satya]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's such a difficult time for you. Can I ask why you are getting assistance when you originally conceived naturally? Feel free to ignore my question if that's too sensitive. My reason for asking is that I was told my only hope of a successful pregnancy was to go to IVF but I ended up not going in that direction and gave birth at age 42. Please take care of yourself over the next few days while you wait to see what happens.

[poppihome]

Satya, thanks for the message.
I have PCOS and my cycle is all over the place. So we tried for awhile naturally but just sort of ended up in IVF, where alot of PCOS find success. I hate the whole culture of it and it is life sapping.
How wonderful for you, your little baby is gorgeous!
As I said I know that we are going to walk away from IVF and try naturally whilst waiting for our adopted child, miracles can happen.
T x

[Kitt3n]

oh hun - dont give up just yet, hold on till you get those next BT's back, your other HCG's looked so good!

Take it easy and be kind to yourself.

[scooby]

Poppihome:
I was about to switch off my computer and for some reason came back on BB and now i know why. Please hang in there. I was in exactly the same postion as you, the US showed a very slow heartbeat i had hematomas and an enlarged yolk sac i was told to go home and let nature take its course (with a very sullen, rubbing on the back) Well nature did take its course and my little man will be 5 years old next month. They are not always right and there is always hope! This is going to be the most excruiting week for you but i hope at the end of it you will have the same happy story as me. I really wish you all the best for the week ahead and the strength to get through it. Most importantly dont compare what you have to go through with anyone else, i know there is worse, but when you are in so much pain, it doesnt take that away and neither it should. I always remember, after my ectopic, one of the girls on BB who had lost bubs at varying stages of pregnancy said the early ones were just as difficult and painful as the late ones, we are only human.
Good luck and huge

[poppihome]

Thanks so much, I really appreciate it. I will see what the blood test says on Monday and tryto keep positive until further notice
Lots of love and prays to all

[satya]

Yep, keep up those positive thoughts. We had a few hurdles to jump with tests that showed what looked like problems at different stages of my last pregnancy but in the end all was well. Scans can only show so much.

Miracles do indeed happen, if not now sometime in the future.

[nic]

Poppihome,
Sending lots of positive thoughts and sticky vibes your way.

Nic

[Possums]

poppihome, I am very sorry to hear you are going through all this pain and anxiety and heartache...I really pray your little one hangs in there. sending you
take care of yourself.

[Rach75]

keep positive it took me 5 pg's to finally bring home my beautiful son 1st 2 were natural conception 1st ectopic @ 7 weeks, 2nd Katy Rose s/b @ 21 weeks next 3 were clomid assisted the 3rd resulting in Jack

please keep positive and hang in there little banana peanut

[HopefulMaria]

Poppi,

I am hoping for the best for you. I can understand the stress and heartache you feel, but don't give up all hope yet. Miracles can happen and doctors can be wrong.

[poppihome]

Thanks so much for sending messages of support, it is really comforting from me and gives me hope.
I am feeling much the same, although my bb's are more tender tonight. I have slight pink spotting and some very light light cramps.
My poor hubbie has just started a new job, and he has to go to NZ on Monday morning for the whole week, we can not believe the timing. He is worried about me and I a feel bad for him, not a nice situation.
I am going to stay at my sister and brother in laws place for the week, pack up the dog and play sleep overs. It is really hard to go to work when I feel sad, I wish I was stronger in that regard. At this stage I am going to have a sick day on Monday to get my head around the blood test and what to do next.
Have a fun and laughter filled weekend lovely cyber friends
I will keep you updated.
Love T

[Joeve]

Hang in there and lots of sticky vibes for little banana peanut to cling on!

[poppihome]

Latest update,
feeling very tired and have some M/S today!! My bb's are back to being sore and I feel more positive. I have no spotting at all this morning. Come on miracle!!

[nic]

Yay for the m/s and sore bb's!!

Nic

[HopefulMaria]

Good for you! who would have thought that the idea of feeling ill and being in pain was so good? What a crazy process this pregnancy thing is.

[mrsmac]

Praying that everything turns out OK. Babies can be very determined little creatures.

[poppihome]

I have decided that I can not cope with any tests or ultra sounds whilst my husband is out of town. So I am going to cancel my bt for the morning and the ultrasound ( second opinion) on Tuesday so that I can just imagine everything is humming along nicely for the week.
I think it is some form of denial but it should get me throught the wait. I can always keep more positive without any bad news I guess
Feeling the same as above and very tired, all the right things.