help, if anyone is on here atm, please chat to me - Pregnancy, Birth & Baby Forums ~ BellyBelly

widdly · #1 (**permalink**) August 8th, 2009, 11:10 PM

I am sitting here bawling, missing XH like crazy remembering all the good things about us and how unfair it is that we had to give it all up.

I am asking myself whether I am expecting too much and being too hard on him lately.

All this was sparked by me coming accross some photos of us at a friends wedding late last year. We had the most wonderful trip away together, there are beautiful pics of the 3 of us dancing together, holding each other, XH was so great that weekend.....

what have i done?

dust · #2 (**permalink**) August 8th, 2009, 11:20 PM

*hugs*
all i can think of is... a great trip away is no reason to stay/go back to a relationship. If you both still very much love each other then by all means start over again. Its great that you have good memories of him! maybe you just need this time to reflect and think things over

gl

~Heavenly Mumma of 4~ · #3 (**permalink**) August 8th, 2009, 11:21 PM

awww hunny hugs to you....i dont know what to say as i dont know why you split but i remember watching a show once where someone said,,that foto albums are full of all the good times,you dont put all the crappy memorys and pics of the hurt in there iykwim

all the best

~Sally~ · #4 (**permalink**) August 8th, 2009, 11:23 PM

HUGS

I'm sorry hunny.

widdly · #5 (**permalink**) August 8th, 2009, 11:29 PM

thanks so much guys, I just really needed to know that im not alone at the moment x

heavenly - what you said about the good and bad photos, you are so right, i will not look at photos for a few years...

I have had a cry and a re read of my older threads, and reminded myself that I am doing the right thing moving on. This single parenting is just such a hard gig!

Didnt help that XH made a comment on Facebook about how much he is gonna miss DS when we move away, feeding the guilt...b@st@rd. He had his chance, 50 times over.

I hate night times as a single mum, too lonely, you guys have made me feel loved and less alone, i really needed that tonight xxx

Winter · #6 (**permalink**) August 9th, 2009, 12:01 AM

Oh Widdly, big hugs chiccy, I'm really feeling for you right now!

Its so hard to end a relationship and its always complicated, lonely, hurtful, exciting, a relief, painful and confusing all at once. There's lots of songs about broken hearts for a reason!

You are doing a fantastic job as a mummy, be kind to yourself and while its totally normal to look back at the good times, you have a beautiful child together so he is always going to be a part of your life, I always think well, he's an ex for a reason when I used to fall back into the 'what if' daydreams... (not anymore!!!!!)

~Kim~ · #7 (**permalink**) August 9th, 2009, 06:28 AM

Elissa.....I was going to say exactly that about the photos.
YOU HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THING!!!!

mum1984 · #8 (**permalink**) August 9th, 2009, 08:27 AM

The nights tend to be the worst in this house too, but they do get better...

xo

Lulu · #9 (**permalink**) August 9th, 2009, 08:47 AM

I still get sad 6 years later if I think about all the things we had to give up. But it doesn't last too long.

BUT, they can still be happy memories and I'm glad I have them all!

widdly · #10 (**permalink**) August 9th, 2009, 10:17 AM

thanks guys x

Kim - thanks for the reassurance that I did the right thing, it is so easy to question myself.

Winter - your advice is great

Lulu - you're right, its ice to have good memories, I justy need to forget those for a while, especially at midnight!

mistree - nice to hear they do get better

still feeling pretty vulnerable today, but i will just busy myself with cleaning. XH is having Archie tomorrow for a few days, so it will be good for me to get a nice break and look after myself

kyliekd · #11 (**permalink**) August 9th, 2009, 10:57 AM

Hugs...maybe when you start to feel vulnerable try remembering why you left.

Enjoy your you time can you spoil yourself in someway

widdly · #12 (**permalink**) August 10th, 2009, 10:19 PM

thanks Kylie, I am spoiling myself by moving to a town with a warmer climate and lots of loving family. Shame I have to spend the rest of the week packing adn cleaning though LOL

missymoo84 · #13 (**permalink**) August 11th, 2009, 06:47 AM

it gets easier. I was so upset for months when Ashtons father walked out. I cried ever night wondering how I would go on my own raising another baby, I missed him sooooo much (or thought I did) and one day it just started to lessen and by the time I had Ash I was a strong mumma.

I gave him a second chance when Ashton was 4 months old. We had been seperated since I was a few months pregnant so it had been a while. I thought I still loved him and wanted to be with him but I found out I was in love with the OLD him, the one who hadn't turned into an *******. It didn't work obviously because he was the same idiot as before. Sometimes it's just the memories, you need to realise what they were like in the bad times too.

widdly · #14 (**permalink**) August 11th, 2009, 02:10 PM

missymoo thankyou so much, its good to know that it does get less painful as time wears on. I to am in love the gorgeous guy XH was 2.5 years ago. It just sucks that we have to feel pain for so long! Packing and cleaning is keeping me busy.

I honestly do not know how i would cope through all of this if I didnt have all of you girls xxx Every time I start feeling sad I come to BB and you all lift me up again, thankyou x