| Support/Debrief after Stillbirth/Lateloss & Death of a Child We are sorry that anyone has to come in here but sadly there are many people mourning the loss of a loved baby/child. Our aim is to provide a safe place for women and men who have endured stillbirth/Late Loss or the Death of a Child to come and share their feelings, and feel supported in a safe & loving community. |
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November 21st, 2009, 08:43 PM
|  | Gotta have FUN in life or what's the point of it ALL ... quote by our 91year old G8-Uncle Leo | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: city gal living in country Ballarat !!!
Posts: 3,221
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OMG, my heart just broke to think not just anyone but your SIL could say such a hurtful & shocking thing  ... she's the one whom should feel ashamed of HERSELF (and this is her nephew she is speaking of) ...
OUR babies are babies, and our babies are BEAUTIFUL not only to us parents but to anyone else who willingly loved them whether they knew them on earth side or not (he was in your tummy & here for sometime, enough time for those that wanted to, to truely care about him ... yes Auntie's included) ...
I'm so so glad you have placed him for all to see just as he was & always will be part of your own loving family  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
__________________
Me 44  DP 33
DD 3.5  (Miss C is the sunshine in my  and the love behind my smile  )
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November 21st, 2009, 09:11 PM
|  | I have abandoned my search for truth and I'm now looking for a good fantasy... | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: in a state of confusion
Posts: 2,018
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 have to bite my tongue - my thoughts on someone who would say that to you are not fit to print! Quote: |
your little boy is perfect, and he always will be, no matter what other people might think/say.
| beata said it perfectly. to you and you're a sweet mummy to create such a precious memorial to your beautiful boy.
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November 21st, 2009, 10:06 PM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 285
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Is she 12 years old or something? That sounds like such a stupid, immature thing to say. Why on earth would anyone think that your beautiful little baby could be anything to feel ashamed of?? I just don't understand. It sounds like she's not right in the head to me.
What a lovely memorial to have made up. xxxx
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November 21st, 2009, 10:47 PM
|  | loves being a mumma | | Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 894
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Oh that is the most thoughtless, hurtful thing to say. Of course he is perfect and he is your precious little guy. Sending you lots of . I would have been furious and let her know about it..grrrr. You did well to control yourself.
Rach xx
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November 21st, 2009, 10:53 PM
|  | Out of mind be back in five | | Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: In a castle with my princesses
Posts: 529
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 How heartless, she is obviously jealous of your perfect angel boy!
I am sorry for your loss and sorry your SIL is not more supportive |
November 22nd, 2009, 08:51 AM
|  | My children are the hearts of my life, my angels in my heart eternally | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Geelong
Posts: 1,504
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Thank you all for your lovely supportive words. I will continue to have his frame hanging proudly in the lounge and as someone said she is the one who should be embarassed. Pitty she is family because if it was a friend I would have told her to leave my house and never come back.
Regards,
Dianne
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November 22nd, 2009, 09:03 AM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Scottish expat living in Geelong
Posts: 435
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Your tribute to your son sounds beautiful Dianne. I am so sorry you were upset like this by someone who should know better. Be strong
T
xx
__________________
Mum of 4 wonderful kids 5 4 2 2 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/...very-long.html
“Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.”
George Bernard Shaw
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November 22nd, 2009, 09:45 AM
| | Gotta have FUN in life or what's the point of it ALL ... quote by our 91year old G8-Uncle Leo | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: city gal living in country Ballarat !!!
Posts: 3,221
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Dianne, i told my DP about your thread in what your SIL said and he said just as you did ... that he would ask her to leave and never come back, but yes it's a hard position to be in when it's family as you have obviously worked out with your actions that it would only make the situation worse and YOU have been through more than enough heartache to deal with anymore !!
(i'm so sorry to say Dianne but i do think there is a hint of sick jealously like member Queen mentioned before ... For your SIL to say something so incredibly hurtful, ... it's such an ugly, ugly side of a human being ... You just be very aware of her now and if & when you do ' have ' to speak to her just be yourself and nothing less ... but that doesn't mean you have to be warm towards her, YEH stick that up her jumper !!! )
__________________
Me 44 DP 33
DD 3.5 (Miss C is the sunshine in my and the love behind my smile )
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November 22nd, 2009, 01:19 PM
|  | There is nothing more beautiful than seeing magic through your child's eyes. | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: NSW
Posts: 5,663
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how awful... what an awful thing to say to a mother about her child... I'm so sorry she was so disgustingly rude and tactless towards you. What a not-so-nice person she is. you deserve a HUGE apology from her. I would understand if you never spoke to her again for saying that.....that is just a horrific thing to say to someone. (regardless of if the child is passed away or alive).
Stand proud because you have every right to be 
Last edited by Trillian; November 22nd, 2009 at 01:34 PM.
Reason: Turning off signature.
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November 22nd, 2009, 01:32 PM
|  | BellyBelly Life Member | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Computer says No.
Posts: 13,216
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Far out! I can't believe she actually said something like that to you. I hope she never has the apparent misfortune to have a child who is less than perfect in a physical sense because to say something like that is just so shallow. Emmanuel was perfect and you should be showing him off to everyone who comes to your home |
November 22nd, 2009, 01:48 PM
|  | | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: MN Coast NSW
Posts: 5,595
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My MIL proudly has the photo's of her DS Thomas (lost him to trisomy 13 also) on her wall with everyone having turns holding him. He's wrapped in a blanket, so you can't see much, but its there. He was her baby & she/they thought he was beautiful no matter what was visibly wrong with him.
She also lost a baby before him to SIDS, but only has one photo up of him as it was unexpected & its the only photo she has. She's so greatful she got the chance to get photo's of Thomas.
I'm sure its beautiful xx
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November 23rd, 2009, 08:10 AM
|  | Each new life, no matter how fragile or brief, forever touches hearts and changes the world.. | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 378
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Oh Dianne, what an awful thing for someone to say! Of course you should have the picture up! for you.
__________________ DP & Me Day by Day.. DSS 5, 2 Forever Babies, If love could have saved you, you never would have died
 Memorial Site and Blog: http://taiteandseth.blogspot.com/ |
November 23rd, 2009, 09:15 AM
|  | Live, Love, Laugh | | Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: NSW, Australia
Posts: 73
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How thoughtless and ignorant of this person who is supposed to be family!! I cant believe the nerve of some people!! People just open their mouths before they think.
I'm sorry she said this to you, your little man I’m sure is perfect. Big hugs hun please don't take any notice of that half wit!
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December 11th, 2009, 08:34 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK
Posts: 5
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what an awful thing to say! SIL or not im suprised you held your tongue and didnt give her a string of swear words!!
i think its her who is embarrassed about it and thats why she said it. it just shows her ignorance and how shallow she is.
i bet Emmanuel was gorgeous and perfect!!!
hugs
xxxx
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February 1st, 2010, 06:16 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Melbourne, Aus
Posts: 4
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Some people just don't think before they speak unfortunatly & I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
My MIL is very much the same - she doesn't like us talking about our daughter due to her fiance having strict religious beliefs, pretends she was never born etc.... My husband & I don't have any pictures of our bub due to severe deformities (she suffered from severe hydrocephalus & the fluid they had to remove before I could give birth caused her head/skull to cave in at the back) by our own choice as we wanted to think of our lil one as the perfect angel we all see our bubs as but we had gorgeous pictures done through the site 'To Write Their Names In The Sand'. I paid for the photos & we gave a set to my folks, hubby's father, mother, my grandma, his grandparents as well as for ourselves. Everyone else adored them (my grandma even cried when we gave them to her she loves them so much - Ashley is her first great grandchild) but my MIL called it a 'cheap' Christmas present. I was furious that she said that to hubby & he was gutted that something that was seen by precious & priceless to everyone else in the family was seen as cheap to his own mother.
I think what you did sounds like a beautiful way to remember your son. He's your lil angel & you are free to remember him in whatever way you choose to, especially in your own home. All our lil angels are perfect in every way, no matter what anyone else thinks.
Hugs
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February 1st, 2010, 06:25 PM
| | My children are the hearts of my life, my angels in my heart eternally | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Geelong
Posts: 1,504
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Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you got some pictures of your precious angel. Take care .
Regards,
Dianne
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February 1st, 2010, 10:44 PM
| | Platinum Member. 2010 RAK Recipient | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Queensland
Posts: 2,035
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That is more horrible than I have the words for...
It sounds absolutely beautiful what you have created :hugs:
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February 1st, 2010, 10:52 PM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 218
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My son was 28w stillborn and I know some people don't like to see him either, but that's their problem, not mine.
I'm so sorry your sil said such a hurtful thing to you, lots of love to you xxxx
__________________
Impending homebirther, homeschooling mama of three - soon to be four!
girl - 11.5
boy - 3.5
boy - born sleeping, would be two
mystery baby - due some time in winter! | | |
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