Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage/Loss July 2009

[Inanna]

Welcome to TTC after Loss or Miscarriage for those of you who have just joined us. We hope your TTC journey is quick and successful. We are sure you will find much loving support from the other women on this challenging journey.

If you have any concerns regarding anything within this thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails/ PM's are treated equally & confidentially):-

Niliac
MistyFying and
Flowerchild

Their email addresses can be found here.

You may also like to consider taking a look at the comprehensive and informative BellyBelly Conception Articles which may help you in your journey.


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You will find the previous thread HERE

[zstar]

hi milly and welcome to ttw!

[sunny09]

Hi ladies!!

I'm a little unsure when my 2WW will start as my cycles have been getting longer, but i'm on the down hillslide........or right at the very top at least!
Lots of BD either way, regardless of this stoopid cold!!

Hope everyone is well!

[Sunbeam]

Hello girls,

Whoo its friday bring on the weekend.

Milly- glad you are with us, so now there are 3 in the TWW and sounds like Sunny will be joining us soon too.

Have a great day everyone.

[zstar]

good morning girls

sunny - i hope your tww flies by and you get your bfp!

afm - i am sooo looking forward to the week end and not being at work and having my mind more occupied to help me get through this tww! arrgghhh. i was having funny pains in my ovaries yesterday. i hope it was implantation. not sure. still feel a slight dull pain in one side today that comes and goes. i don't temp or do any other testing so i guess i just have to continue this waiting game. my b's aren't sore - i would know - i have touched them enough times checking! i still have up to a week to go. i really need to learn to deal with these tww's better! i'm fine until around a week to go...well not fine but as it gets closer i get crazier! anyway, i'm staying positive and this will be my last tww!

i wish everyone a calm and happy friday.....

[coco1411]

I was in a good mood until 2 minutes ago..

DH just called and asked if I wanted to go for breakfast with scott and zoe...zoe is the girl I mentioned about a month and a half ago now, that she told me she was pregnant then gave me the cold shoulder when i didnt want to hang out with them the day after she told me because when i saw her a would just cry....

DH said I just wanted to check first before I invited them because he knew it was awkward for me..and I said to him...well I kinda spat it to him.. "as long as she has a baby in her belly and I do not because ours died, yes its going to be awkward". I did like this girl but now I just dont. I hate her. I am so jealous and I hate that I feel she is being all smug we're still not pg and not only am I not pregnant, Im having a stupid operation to see why we arent pregnant, and to top that off, Im having a damn D&C so I probably wont be ablt o try again straight away anyway!!!!! I want to be cool and relaxed about all this..but I just cant..Im not going to kid myself, it is painful and really makes my blood boil.



Just needed to vent. Possibly will go back to lurking for now.. hrmph!

[zstar]

oh coco

i just freaked out because my name is zoe and dh is scott. far out. geez.

if she is being 'smug' about her pg when you are around i would avoid her for now. that is not cool. i struggled at the start with my sil while she was pg but she made an extra effort when i was around to keep all the baby talk to a min until i was better inside. you may be on edge until you have your operation and get some answers. i know i would be. get dh to meet up with scott on his own and have a beer or something so that way you don't have to see zoe. can't believe they have the same names!

keep venting!!!! you need to get it out!!!!

[sunny09]

my dh is scotty to zstar!!!

[toomanyshoes]

Well not sure if I'm posting in the right place but we'll be TTC this month after my 3rd M/C a few couple of months ago.

Soooo nervous about actually trying to get pregnant, in the past it's just been let things happen. And while it took a while (in DD case a couple of years) there just seemed to be much less stress in it all.

This will be my 2nd normal cycle after the M/C so I'm hoping it goes well. My SIL is due in a couple of weeks and getting the phone call is going to break my heart.

I feel this rush to be pregnant again, I can't explain it. I just feel like if it doesn't happen by the end of the year the kids are going to be getting too far apart and it will never happen. Silly I know, but I just feel like the clock is ticking.

Good luck to all the other lovely ladies trying this month, I hope your baby dreams come true to.

[zstar]

hi toomany shoes

you are in the right place. you are being very brave. patience is something i definately lack at times and i too am lacking it right now. i keep thinking to myself i should be 4 months pg - nearly half way but here we are - starting at scratch.

i thinks its natural for us ttc to be a little upset when we hear someone is pg or their bubba has arrived. i have a big cry and then next day i'm good to go again.

i hope you get your this month!

my gf just had her 4th and there is a 5 year from her 3rd. age is just a number.

[zstar]

Originally Posted by sunny09

my dh is scotty to zstar!!!

go the scotty's!

[Anila]

hey all, not much to say, feeling a bit down today, but i think i am in the tww, only time will tell.

[ferrals4]

Not happy they still havn't found our probe (faulty gene) so i have been told it can take months to find it and then when they do it's 6-8 weeks for a cycle of ivf so it could be dec before we even start our cycle we could get pregnant natrually in that time and have the baby tested at 11 week's i'm going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what do i do my clock is ticking the medicare rebate is lingering over our heads i am so over all this bulll s##t i just want a break for once just one little break please someone up there give me a little help.

Hi to the new girl's sorry i'm not real talkative today but looking forward to getting to know you

[SuperstarMumsy]

Hi everyone,

I finally feel strong enough to come on here, I am currently on CD17 I think....god forbid I dont know what cycle day I am on....so weird. Everyone keeps telling me not to try this month but I say F*** them...sorry for the language but it makes me so angry. I think trying this month is the only thing keeping me sane with pregnancies and new babies all around me - ITS NOT FAIR!!! So I havent o'ed yet but the doc told me this cycle would probably be longer so I am not really concerned in all my prior cycles I have o'ed on CD14,15 or 22 so fingers crossed I do actually O. DP is off on a surfing trip on Wednesday so I have my fingers crossed I O and am in the 2WW before then - I figure something has to go right at this difficult time. I would prefer a 28 day cycle but a longer cycle has worked out better as DP will be back for some loving before O in our next cycle! Anyone else found their partners have been funny in the BD department. I was thinking it was just me being paranoid but he hasnt been real keen on doing the deed! He was ok once I was ready to have sex after the procedure when I wasnt in a fertile time but now seems a bit apprehensive....totally abnormal for him. Not sure if it is the MC or me?????

I really hope we have some BFP this month cos we deserve it, we all really do.

And what is it with smug pregnant people....they annoy the crap out of me....I get it isnt my fault she lost her baby (second hand advice)...true but some sensitivity at a difficult time would help! Some people have no idea...but then you have others (like you guys) that are so supportive!

[toomanyshoes]

Originally Posted by SuperstarMumsy

And what is it with smug pregnant people....they annoy the crap out of me....I get it isnt my fault she lost her baby (second hand advice)...true but some sensitivity at a difficult time would help! Some people have no idea...but then you have others (like you guys) that are so supportive!

Our 3rd M/C was only a couple of months ago and I can not believe how rude DH family were towards us, no thought put into how we might be feeling his f'ing mother even told us I should have my tubes tied! I could have slapped her...And them beaming over their daughter (DH sister) being pregnant was a joke, ok its great for her but why throw it in my face again and again.....I want to get away from these people soooo badly!

My SIL calls weekly to tell me how fab her pregnancy is....not once has she asked if I'm doing ok or anything.

Some people are just total A holes

But on another note, I'm so scared about trying again...what if it doesnt work...what if it does. I dont know how long I can keep trying, I dont think I'll be strong enough to get BFN's month after month and I'm just as scared of a BFP...what if there's another M/C....sooo scared!

[GIVENUPHOPE]

WOW.......
I must just take a few min and say that ive spend the last day just sitting back and reading the stories and then reading the support that is given from everyone and again i have to say that this is AWSOME!!!!!!
Thank you all for the lovely welcomes i really feel like i can relax and be myself and not wory about putting up a front all the time. Im now at the stage that all my friends are starting families and here i am being aunty to them all and never mother,so in that way i find myself having to pretend to be happy and never let them see that it kills me. IT JUST BECOMES TOO MUCH AFTER A WHILE..........

Here comes another question for you ladies,what do i do if my husband (who is very loving and supportive) is not really wanting to try again. I have approched him and asked him and he has responded that as much as he loves me and as much as he wants to have that baby he doesnt want to have to look at my face and see the pain when things go wrong AGAIN!!!!! How do i try and let him know that as much as it hurts to lose a baby it kills me even more not being able to have one. I just feel that he too has suffered a loss as much as i have and i really wouldnt want to try if his whole heart isnt in it. Does that sound stupid?????????

I have to add that no matter what has happened to you ladies i just think that everyone of you are really wonderful and dont realise how strong you really are, i speak for myself but i just feel that one day if that baby ever comes i think that i will be able to be a better mother because for what i have experienced. I will NEVER take that precious being for granted as some out there.

Wishing all those ladies that are trying the best of luck and i believe that you deserve to have your hopes and dreams come true and they will

[toomanyshoes]

Originally Posted by GIVENUPHOPE

Here comes another question for you ladies,what do i do if my husband (who is very loving and supportive) is not really wanting to try again. I have approched him and asked him and he has responded that as much as he loves me and as much as he wants to have that baby he doesnt want to have to look at my face and see the pain when things go wrong AGAIN!!!!! How do i try and let him know that as much as it hurts to lose a baby it kills me even more not being able to have one. I just feel that he too has suffered a loss as much as i have and i really wouldnt want to try if his whole heart isnt in it. Does that sound stupid?????????

Maybe he just needs a little more time, he might not have dealt with his feelings about the loss.

At first my husband wasn't interested in trying again, but I gave him time, than sat him down and told him why I wanted another, what it would mean to me etc. I think this helped him to see things clearly rather than "oh its just going to be heart ache again".

With all 3 M/C's I got really angry because he never seemed upset, its only been with the 3rd I've really understood how he felt. He wants to protect me from pain of having another M/C, which is great but I had to explain to him that the pain of not trying would be greater IYKWIM?

I would just give him a little time then try to sit down and let him know how you feel and try to pry outta him he's feelings.

Hope it all works out

[ferrals4]

Morning girls.

Superstarmummy-I know what you mean i have had the same thing happen to me every one around me is raving on about the pregnancies how far they are if it's a boy or girl ect. without even thinking that it rip's my heart out and bring's all the pain flooding back in an instant and we have to smile put on a brave face i hate it the only thing that keep's me from going off my nut is that they just have know idea what it feel's like to lose a baby and if they did they might be more considerate to our feeling's so i don't think they relise what they are doing.
Also don't listen to other people on TTC this month you do what you feel you are ready for and if people don't lkie it don't tell them.

Tomanyshoe's-as i said to superstar unless these people have been in our shoe's and felt our heartbreak and pain they have no idea my SIL is pregnant and her baby is due 8 week's after abbi was and i refuse to see, speak or even be near her as she has been a b#tch to my mum as my mum wasn't happy for her when she told her she was pregnant as it was the day we were told abbi had no chance and we had to be induced the next morning and my mum was with me through it all and was heartbroken for us and my SIL couldn't see why she wasn't jumping for joy and swinging from the rafters for her.
I know it is scarey TTC again but all you can do is keep going be positive that you will add to your family and when the right little one come's along it will stick.

Givenuphope-give him some time men deal with thing's differently they tend to want to avoid the thing's that can cause the pain so just talk to him tell him that you want to have his baby more than anything and if it's ment to happen it will and at least you can say you have given it a good go i would never get over our loss if we dont at least try but don't pressure him he will come around.

AFM-waiting waiting and more waiting DH said last night if the pgd ivf is going to take 5mths like some are telling us he want's to try natrually while we wait i will talk to the ivf doctor on the 21st and find out how long it will be then we can decide 5 mths will kill my not ttc i wont be able to do it