| Trying To Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss Trying to conceive after a loss or miscarriage is something that takes enormous strength and courage. Talk about your experiences and feelings here. |  | 
May 12th, 2009, 03:04 PM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: N.S.W.
Posts: 19
| | How soon is too soon?
I gave birth to my stillborn daughter Isabel on the 14th of February this year. At first we decided to wait until next year but now we're starting to think about trying again. The only thing is I'm not sure if this is to soon, I don't want to be disrespectful to Isabel.
And I'm worried and scared about the same thing happening again this time, which is something I know I'll be worried about regardless of when we try again.
I know there are alot of things that I'm going to have to get straight in my head. But at very least I was hoping you could tell me if you think its to soon to start trying again, and what your thought are about this. And if anyone has any advice or personal experience with trying again after such a horrible loss that would be appreciated as well.
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May 12th, 2009, 03:20 PM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 130
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There is no right time. My girlfriend was in your position and they went for a new baby almost immediately. And they had a boy who was due very close to the birthday of the bay they lost - so she had it induced to avoid that,. It was not to replace the baby but something that helped them heal and they had another after that....
__________________
Me (38) DH (41)
DD 2 Nov 2006
DS 28 Feb 2009
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May 12th, 2009, 03:46 PM
|  | Platinum Member | | Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: QLD
Posts: 1,308
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I don't think its being disrespectful to Isabel. Your never going to stop loving her or replace her. I agree that the worry will not go away with your future pregnancies regardless of the time between then. The right time is when it happens weather its tomorrow or next year. Provided you have had your postnatal check and all is how it should be down below then I am sure you are physically ok to ttc. There is a forum on here for women ttc after stillbirth. I am sure you will get some great advise and support from the women who have had similar experiences to you.
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May 12th, 2009, 04:48 PM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Newcastle, NSW
Posts: 1,098
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KAM, I am very sorry for your loss. I experienced early loss so my situation different but just wanted to share my thought on ttc again with you. I felt that although I wanted to be pregnant again straight away I also didn't feel right being pregnant with another baby when I was still supposed to be pregnant with my angel baby. So in other words I didn't feel right being pregnant again until after my edd. Not sure if this will help as your bub I am guessing was term or close to term but just wanted to at least offer my thoughts in the hope they may help.
Isabel will always be in your heart and am sure you will just 'feel' when it's right to ttc again. You might see something that just prompts that feeling, whether it's a movie, tv show or something out the window of the car as you are driving along like a pretty sunset or something.
I don't think you are being disrespectful if you are ready to try again though.
Good luck and wishing you all the best.
__________________ AJC (30) DH (30)
2 x  : Oct 06 @ 6wks (Blighted ovum) & Sep 07 @ 8wks 4 days (missed m/c).  Early arrival on 18/12/08 @ 34 weeks & 4 days
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May 25th, 2009, 12:14 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 5
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sweetie, im so sorry for your loss....i believe that you will know when you are ready...
i know your fear all too well....i also wonder about 'what if this happens again?' and i think its one of those things that for every woman that ever experience a loss of their babies will go thru...
we need to stay strong and keep positive thoughts and honestly only you will know in your heart when you are truly ready ((((HUGS))))
Last edited by kiwi_gal; May 25th, 2009 at 12:45 PM.
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June 22nd, 2009, 05:25 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 7
| | When Are You Ready?
You should talk to your therapist and doctor to determine if it's safe and whether you are ready to be trying again- This way, you'll be inclined to take it easier and do it right.. and you should know when it's ready for yourself when it is right.
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June 22nd, 2009, 05:54 PM
| | BellyBelly Member | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Bunbury, Western Australia
Posts: 1,540
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Isabel will always be your special little bubba and you'll always love her how she deserves to be, so please don't feel that you'll be replacing her you'll just be giving her a little brother or sister.
There is never a right or wrong time to start trying for a bub again, it's whenever you, your DH and your body is ready
__________________
Me & Him ~since2004hitchedOct2009~ Our Angel, Jayvan 11/12/2008 - 17weeks&6Days  | 
June 30th, 2009, 10:53 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 5
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Only you will know when you are ready - but I'm sending lots of HUGS!!!!
__________________  on March 27/09 my baby was 11 wks 5 days I had a missed m/c
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