Nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation you feel when you have a new baby.
It’s not just one interrupted night of sleep, it’s many, and they all seem to mash into one other. At which point your brain starts to play tricks on you.
From imagining things that haven’t happened, to mixing bizarre items up, it’s hard not to feel like a total fruitloop some days.
If you’re pregnant and expecting a baby, I’m really sorry you just had to read that. But I promise you, it’s worth it! It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Quick, time to cue the humour…
Confessions From Sleep Deprived Parents
Here are 21 sleep deprived parent confessions from BellyBelly’s fans:
#1: “I sat down to peeing with my underwear still on.”
#2: “I put cartoons on for my bub so I could lay and relax for 5. Woke up an hour later with a completely destroyed kitchen, there were sponges and chucks cloths every where, she had emptied every alfoil and baking paper roll she could find all over the kitchen floor.”
#3: “I tried to attach the dog lead to my son while trying to take him to school.”
#4: “Woke up looked in the bassinet and saw one of my twins sleeping soundly frantically got up to look for my second baby only to realise. I never had twins.”
#5: “Woke up in the middle of the night to my baby crying and started patting his bum back to sleep… Only to realise I hadn’t got out of bed yet and was actually patting my husbands bum.”
#6: “I drove to daycare after work to pick up my daughter. I freaked out at the daycare teacher for “losing my child!” (and I mean completely hysterical) until the director had to calm me down and remind me that my daughter doesn’t go to daycare on that day and that she was, in fact, safe and happy at home with her dad.”
#7: “I got in the shower, water running…. with clothes and glasses still on.”
#8: “I used an entire bottle of bubble bath in one bath – I spaced out and just kept pouring.”
#9: “I undressed my kids, washed them, then put them back into their pyjamas instead of their school clothes.”
#10: “When my 3 month old was in the hospital, I fell asleep in a recliner while nursing him. I woke up and freaked out, thinking he had fallen down the cracks or was stuck in the blankets. I looked up and one of the nurses had taken him from me, and had tucked him into his cot while I was asleep… woke up with boob still out and all.”
#11: “I’ve been driving, and panicked when I realized I hadn’t buckled my kids booster seats in. Only to realize kids are at grandmas.”
#12: “I was so tired that when the baby cried at night I had the dream that I was already feeding her so I don’t have to get up.”
#13: “I had just finished breastfeeding my son when there was a knock at the door. I answered it, it was a policeman. He was enquiring if I’d heard anything the morning before, as there had been an attempted robbery with one of my neighbours. Anyway he was looking at me odd until I mentioned that the baby was sleeping at that time so I was too. With that, he grinned gave me a wink and walked off. I thought it was odd until I went to open my curtains and they brushed my chest. My boob had been out the whole time.”
#14: “I put my wallet in the freezer and the frozen peas in my handbag.”
#15: “I’ve been so tired, I thought my husband’s shirt was my pair of shorts, and tried putting it on.”
#16: “Went to the store and thought “Oh yeah, I need paprika.” Forgot I had bought paprika. Returned to the grocery store a few days later and thought “Oh yeh, I need paprika”. Repeat until I had 5 jars.”
#17: “I went to get into the car and forgot I still had my toddler on my back in a carrier.”
#18: “I put toilet paper in the freezer”
#19: “Went to the supermarket to quickly get some bread and was rocking and patting the bottom of the bread like it was my baby.”
#20: “I put hand soap on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste.”
#21: “I was due to work an afternoon shift and was exhausted. I had five minutes to myself and ‘just fell asleep’. I was woken by shouting and hammering on the door. When I opened the door, a police car was outside with it’s blue lights flashing, siren blaring, and all the neighbours were out. My crime? I had failed to report for duty (three hours prior – yay for three hours sleep!) because yes, I was a police officer at the time. An overzealous officer had misread the report and thought I had failed to report to work for three days. The report read: “Concern for officer. Has failed to report for work. All attempts to contact her have proved negative. Please attend as a priority”.
Don’t forget to read BellyBelly’s articles: 6 things to do when you need more sleep, 10 hilarious doorbell notes from tired parents and 14 reasons why we need to help new mothers get more sleep.
So, which was your favourite? Or do you have a secret confession to share? Let us know in the comments section below!