Doctor Brene Brown is an expert in human connection, and has written two bestselling books on the topic.
She appeared on Oprah to promote her latest book, Rising Strong, and spent a bit of time talking about being a parent.
Dr Brown has two children, and her work often touches on her personal life. In a previous book, Daring Greatly, Brown shared the parenting manifesto she tries to live by.
Oprah asked her to read it aloud on the show. Oprah says: “Every home should have a manifesto, if you don’t, then your home is operating under confusion and chaos.”
“You Are Worthy Of Love”
The moving manifesto begins, “Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and my actions. The lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging and joy everytime you see me practice compassion and embrace my own imperfections.”
The beautiful passage discusses how Brown and her family try to focus on compassion and maintain healthy relationships with each other. It's entitled The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto, and focuses on acceptance and love. Brown talks about the importance of being and loving yourself at all times.
Brown finishes the manifesto by saying, “I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly but I will let you see me. And I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you, truly, deeply seeing you.”
When Brown finishes reading, Oprah is visibly moved and takes a moment to wipe away tears before saying, “I just wish everybody could live by those words. That’s how you change the world.”
The Dangers Of “How-To-Parent” Strategies
Writing about the manifesto in the Huffington Post, Brown said: “Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit “how-to-parent” strategies both seductive and dangerous. I say “dangerous” because certainty often breeds absolutes, intolerance, and judgment. That's why parents are so critical of one another –we latch on to a method or approach and very quickly our way becomes the way. When we obsess over our parenting choices to the extent that most of us do, and then see someone else making different choices, we often perceive that difference as direct criticism of how we are parenting.”
Get a copy of Doctor Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly (which contains the manifesto), via the links below:
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Dr Brene Brown is a leading researcher in human connection. Her work focuses on vulnerability, shame, courage and worthiness. You can find out more about her work by watching her Ted Talk here. If you want to know more about shame, check out BellyBelly’s article 10 Reasons Why We Need To Stop Public Shaming Of Kids.