Privacy is a rare luxury in modern life. With our every move visible to the world through social media and updates (both small and big) constantly being made by a click of a button, privacy can sometimes feel non-existent . Family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and even friends of friends – they can see it and know it all. This is how we connect and stay connected.
If you’ve decided to keep your pregnancy private for a while, you may be enjoying the excitement of having something only you and your partner know about. Secrets as exciting and amazing as this one are rare in our ‘share it all now’ culture. You might find yourself rushing home from work just so you can finally talk about the pregnancy again, after a long day of wearing your best ‘I have a secret face’ at work.
That’s not to say it will be easy though.Far from it! After all, this is could well be a secret you’re bursting to shout from the rooftops with the help of some professionally printed six foot banners. During that long first trimester, there will be many times when you’ll want to spill the beans. Such as these moments:
#1: When You’re Sober At A Party
Whether you’re using the excuse of ‘dry January’, being the designated driver, or simply pretending to drink, parties can be a tough time to keep a secret. As everyone around you gets merry, you might find yourself wanting to excuse your sobriety with a bit of good news. After all, you don’t want to get a reputation as a party pooper! If you’re pretending to drink alcoholic drinks but are really sipping away on a virgin screwdriver, then pregnancy will simply add to your cover. The lingering smell of vomit, and the fact that you’ll be asleep on your bar stool by 9pm, will simply help to convince everybody that you’ve had way too much to drink.
#2: When You Fall Asleep At Work
Nothing screams unprofessional quite like dozing through the important monthly meeting at work, and yet, chances are you’ll find yourself doing just that during that exhausting few weeks of pregnancy. If your boss knows you’re pregnant, she’ll hopefully cut you a bit of slack and let you off for feeling tired whilst you grow a placenta, but your colleagues might be less than impressed with your doze.
#3: When Your Mother In Law’s Cooking Makes You Sick
There’s nothing quite like a badly timed wave of nausea to make you look like the world’s rudest daughter in law. Morning sickness can strike at any time, and might catch you off guard. Previously harmless smells can suddenly leaving you gagging, as you become more sensitive to your environment. If your pregnancy is public knowledge, that’s fine, you can pick and choose what you eat without offending anyone. But if you suddenly turn up for a barbecue at the mother in law’s and announce that the smell and sight of red meat makes you sick, your host might be a little less understanding. The only thing to do is fake a sickness bug or hangover, and make for the exit.
#4: When You Keep Cancelling On Your Friends
Growing a baby is tiring, especially during the first trimester when your body is busy creating organs, and your hormones are all over the place. You have probably noticed that you need a lot more sleep these days, and that you’re struggling to make it to dinner time most nights. Your days as a night owl are temporarily behind you, and this might mean you’ve been missing social engagements. If you usually meet with friends in the evenings, you might be feeling guilty about spending less time with them. Try rescheduling your activities so you can meet during the day for a while instead, you could blame your workload for eating up your evenings and instead suggest a lunch date for catching up.
#5: When You Overreact
During the first trimester, your hormones are rapidly increasing, you are tired, and probably feeling quite overwhelmed by the whole pregnancy. So it’s understandable that you’re a little sensitive. Your partner has probably noticed your mood swings, though he may not have felt brave enough to mention them. Your friends and colleagues may have noticed that you’re a little short-tempered too, only they don’t know you have an excuse. So when you storm out of a meeting in tears because all the comfy chairs were taken, you might wish you could announce the pregnancy both to excuse your behaviour and bag yourself one of those comfy chairs. To keep your pregnancy a secret, blame your reaction on tiredness, stress, hormones or, simply stand your ground and insist your boss orders more comfy chairs in the name of fairness.
#6: When Your Best Friend Tells You A Secret
If you haven’t told your best friend about the pregnancy, you might already be feeling guilty for having a secret from her. If she’s the person you turn to with all of your problems, and the person who always brings bubbles round to celebrate your good news, then you’re probably counting down the days until you can tell her the truth. You might find yourself wanting to blab each and every time you meet up during the first trimester, but if she opens up and tells you a secret, then you will feel even more desperate to share your news.
#7: When You Feel Lonely
Pregnancy can feel daunting, especially at the beginning. You are already experiencing lots of physical and emotional changes, and though you have the support of your loving partner, you may find yourself wishing you could call on others for advice. You may just need a friendly shoulder to cry on, someone to reassure you, or even just a hug, and it can be hard not being able to speak to your nearest and dearest about what’s bothering you. Make sure your partner knows that need extra support during this time, and remember that it won’t be long until you can share the news. If you find yourself wanting to tell a couple of people early, make sure you have discussed this with your partner first.