I have a daughter already, she is 6 in February and she wasn't planned so it would be just my luck, the time in my life that I plan it, it won't happen!
I got married for the second time in April to my soul mate, and am blissfully happy. We both would like a child as soon as possible, my problem is that once I decide I want to do something, I want to do it now so this waiting has got me going nuts already! I haven't been charting my temps, I only know the date of the beginning of my LMP (28th Dec), I haven't really paid much attention to it until now, and my cycle changes every so often so you just never know.
The only reason I came up with the 11th of Jan for my “O” (ovulation) day was because of the different websites that calculate your due date and give you the “O” day as well….. so there is a whole lot of guess work going on. I had an IUD which was only removed last Thursday, they say you can get pregnant straight after… but days after?? We'll have to wait and see. So the hubby was more than happy with all the BD (baby dancing) going on over the weekend and probably again for the next few nights, just to be sure. I tell you what though, I feel like a real dag laying in bed after with a pillow under my butt in hopes that gravity will help us out
Monday, 12th January, 2004 – 1DPO
How am I feeling? Great! I have energy which I haven't had most of this month… I don't feel sick after I eat, which I did for a few days last week… I don't feel like I need a nap this afternoon… come to think of it, had last week happened next week, I'd be sure I was up the duff! (Great book by the way!!) We have been doing a lot of reading, him being a first timer, he wants to know everything way before it happens so he can be prepared. It's so cute and so fantastic to have such a supportive partner this time around… highly recommend one of those!
No real physical symptoms, not that I expect anything this early… some CM that is clear, except for a little pink tinge which I have had since the IUD was removed, although far less now… Some months I feel some pain when the “o” happens, but nothing this month, which has me worried that one wasn't released or something… I'm sure I'm worried about nothing. Optimistic but pessimistic all at the same time; I'm sure the IUD being out for only days will make it difficult, but then people have reported getting pregnant in the first month, so there is hope but don't want to get them up too high. Longing for the wait to be over and wishing there was a test you could do 2 weeks earlier!!
Tuesday, 13th January, 2004 – 2DPO
Tired today, but that's probably because I didn't get any sleep due to me straining a tricep trying to open the bedroom window while laying down in bed last night… just finished BD and didn't want to sit up all the way, silly I know, but I guess you do everything you can when TTC. Nothing is sore, no cramps and minimal CM, sort of hard to tell when your leaking his… well, you know what I mean.
Am going through mixed emotions today; on one hand, I want it to be this month and I want to know now. On the other hand, there are certain events coming up that means that next month would be much better, plus I will have been on folate for a whole month by then, and a few other things… I guess if it happens, it happens and we'll just deal with things as they come up, but today I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen this month… tomorrow may be a whole different story though. I'll let you know
Wednesday, 14th January, 2004 – 3DPO
Can time go any slower??? What's worse is that I know that I still have at least 11 – 20 odd days before I'll know! I go on holidays at the end of tomorrow so hopefully between now and the 27th of Jan (when I have to come back to work) it will go a lot faster. I plan to continue to write down a little something each day… how sad is it that I actually look forward to doing it because it means that another day has passed 🙂
Feeling pretty good today, considering. Same CM as yesterday and still can't tell if it is his or mine : ) Still BD! He could do this every day but I'm starting to want a break, not that I haven't enjoyed it though. It's different when you are doing it for a particular reason and not just for pleasure. I wonder how long I'll enjoy it before it becomes a chore… here is hoping it doesn't take long to complete the task!
Nothing is sore, no cramps, no nothing… how boring!
Thursday, 15th January, 2004 – 4DPO
4 down, how many to go?? Holidays at the end of today, am trying to focus on those and some serious R & R. Things have been hectic and I could really use it right now.
Ok, the Up the Duff book is absolutely hilarious! I'm up to 19 weeks and I haven't even conceived yet… how sad. Can't put it down but if I devour it before we get there, I won't have anything to read! To be honest though, am not hanging for the answer as much as I was a few days ago, I think that is because I have come to the conclusion that next month would fit in better with our plans. This is probably a good thing, less disappointment that way. And if we are successful, so be it, I'll still be just as happy.
Nothing interesting to tell today, no symptoms of either conception or AF… not that I expect anything just yet. I did wake up with a sore throat, ear ache and an incredible urge to go back to sleep though. Must be coming down with something. Typical, just as I go on holidays!
Thursday, 14th January, 2004 – 5DPO
Off to Newcastle for a couple of days, taking the hubby and daughter and staying with hubby's aunt and uncle. Should be a nice distraction! Still on the “hoping it's not this month” feeling which is good because I think I would be going absolutely nuts by now. BD yesterday but not sure how we'll go here as we are all in the lounge room together!
No other physical symptoms of anything.. how boring! ying to eat healthy and avoid alcohol and diet soft drinks etc.
Sunday, 17th January, 2004 – 7DPO
In Terrigal now, didn't do any BD while in Newcastle for said reason, plus child wasn't able to go to sleep until everyone else went to bed, so 2 nights in a row she was up till after 11pm! Cranky child and cranky mum… Don't believe that I am hormonal , just over tired.
BD this morning, cos we could! We have our own room here 🙂 Again, no physical symptoms although I'm pretty sure we're past fertile period.
Monday, 18th January, 2004 – 8DPO
Head back to Canberra today, am exhausted from all the socialising but it has been really good. These last 4 days have just flown and I have hardly thought about our plan and still not fussed but preferring next month.
Thick, stringy and creamy CM this morning, which marks the end of fertile zone, doesn't it?? Nothing else at this stage… is this dragging on for you too??
Wednesday, 20th January, 2004 – 10DPO
Still on holidays, now in Bairnsdale. Decided to go and see my my aunt in Sale, she saw my piece of paper with all my folate and multivitamin dosages on them and asks me if we are “trying”, I have to admit that we are. She asks me what sex I want, and I want a boy. Then she asks me if I know how to get one?!? So we go in the other room for some detailed discussions about my cycle, CM, BD and dates… not a conversation I pictured having with my Aunt, although we worked out that my cycle is longer that I first thought… well, all I had to do was really think about it to work it out but hadn't done to date! So, long story short, when I thought the fertile zone was over, it probably wasn't and if we don't get bub this month, I know how to get my boy next month. No CM at the moment, we are all dry and not sure but BB's are a little tender on the sides.
Friday, 22nd January, 2004 – 12DPO*
Home today and have looked into doing a different course this year which would mean me staying in Canberra instead of heading up to Sydney for 17 weekends this year… am thinking that with a full time job and doing the baby thing, that this will take a considerable amount of stress off me. Also, we are thinking about skipping Mardi Gras this year, partly because I'll be on course here in Canberra that weekend (if I get accepted) and the other people who were going with us are also unable to attend… and then there goes any reason I had to get pregnant next month rather than this month… which is good and bad…. bad because now I really want to know if I am up the duff or not!!! But have yet to make a firm decision on that one… No CM, BB's starting to get sore, but only just.
Sunday, 24th January, 2004 – 14DPO
Went shopping today, bought a pendulum. When I was chatting to my naturopath earlier this month, I asked if there was a way to tell if I was pregnant before the conventional tests would say positive. She then told me about using the pendulum to ask questions… I'm partly sceptical but also hopeful. So I take it home and start asking questions… it says yes to “Am I pregnant?”! Secretly over the moon but at the same time, need it to be proven first. It also said that I wouldn't test positive until Monday… Monday?!? That's so far away?!? I hope it's wrong on that one. Check it a few times today to make sure that I wasn't imagining things; it's consistent, damn it! BB's a little sorer but not as sore as they can get and they are slower to get sore this time.
Tuesday, 26th January, 2004 – 16DPO
Am on course today and over the last 2 days we have made some firm decisions… Mardi Gras is off, if they accept me in the Canberra course, then I will do it and that means that we can do baby this month! Now I am absolutely dying to know if I am or if I'm not! Have checked the pendulum and it is still saying the same thing and for information, it's a boy!
Did a conventional test today, because I am impatient and am not entirely sure how long my cycle is or when I actually O'd… it's negative… feeling a little deflated but AF still isn't here so that's a good thing.
We go see a Dr here because my Aunt filled me in on all the genetic disorders in our family and suggests we get tests taken to see what our risks are. The Dr suggest Genetic counselling and a pre-conception blood test to check my Rubella immunisation levels. I ask if she can add a pregnancy test to that… she suggests waiting till Friday (a whole 3 days) to do the blood test or it might show negative or borderline and will have to do it again. Doesn't anyone like giving me good news?? Will wait… but it's killing me to wait that long!
BB's a little more tender but not as tender as I thought they should be…
Thursday, 28th January, 2004 – 18DPO
The clock is ticking so slowly and it has taken all my will power to hold off for 2 days before doing another test… again, negative! No AF, so when is it going to say I am?!? Frustrated at the lack of positive results. BB's still tender… Pendulum still saying I am and still saying it's a boy. I guess I'm not feeling particularly pregnant, had the odd moment of feeling icky but I get that when I eat stuff I know I shouldn't. Had a bad headache earlier and only had Panadol, just incase I am… how bad is that?!? Are we obsessive yet?
Saturday, 30th January, 2004 – 20DPO
It's my birthday today and I had a lot of things to do. On my way to a baby shower, noticed that my tummy was a little crampy but it was so mild that I really had to concentrate to work out if it was. Usually get crampy with AF but this was a lot milder that I normally get… does this mean I am? or there are problems? or is AF just playing with me? Arrgghh, have had enough of this… did I mention I did another test? Done one every 2 days for 6 days with the same result (negative) and increasing amounts of frustration. It's my birthday, why can't I know today??
We go out for lunch and some shopping, after a few hours of that I have had enough. Ready for a nap… not like me to have had enough of shopping. Must have worn myself out this week. Get home and sleep for about 3 hours!
I am supposed to go out for 2 house warming's but tummy is more crampy than this morning but still not as bad as when AF is just about to start… I get worried every time I go to the loo that AF will be there, but no. Just sore BB's and cramps. I do remember getting this kind of cramp when I was pregnant with my daughter… but am trying not to get my hopes up… we stay in for the evening.
Sunday, 31st January, 2004 – 21DPO
Am holding off to test again tomorrow although I buy another pack of 2 tests. I figure if it isn't here by then that I'll do the blood test and it will prove it either way. I do some shopping for a BBQ with my Mum, we are having it at our place later in the afternoon. I notice while shopping that I'm really cold, Mum says that it is freezing in there… but 2 isles later I'm hot and she's not… hmmm.
We get home, I unpack the groceries and put my tests in my room and then promptly put myself to bed… had an overwhelming urge to sleep. Hubby woke me up because the BBQ had started (2 hours of zzz's, not bad!) I thought “well, the box has 2 tests and I'm going to get a blood test done tomorrow anyway so may as well do one now.” I had only done a test yesterday morning so I was also thinking about how stupid I was to think that it would be positive today, but still wanted to do it anyway… so off I go.
2 red lines!!! Positive!!! I'm officially up the duff!!! So excited, I take the test out to hubby who is cooking meat on the BBQ, he looks at it confused and asks “so what does that mean?” I say that it's a positive test, he asks if I need to go and do another test to be sure… he's not showing excitement yet so now I'm confused. I tell him that I don't need another test that this is it. It takes a second but once I reiterate that you can't get a false positive, he starts to smile… alot! So by the end of the day, the immediate family and very close friends know and we couldn't be happier.
Waiting till after the 12 weeks to get completely excited, then the danger period will be over and all the tests for Down Syndrome will be complete (we have it in our family).
Yay for us – not bad for a first attempt!
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