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Thread: How bad does it have to be for DOC's to get involved?

  1. #19

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    That must be the hardest part for children being in out of care, not knowing where their permanent safe home is, or what it is.

    It really sounds like there is a very fine line between what is going on and what needs to be proved before a child can be taken. LuluHB, I kind of have the same opinion that too much goes on before they will do something about it.

    So then does anyone know how common it would be for a first born bub to be taken so early on? I understand that there would be a difference if there was a history with other children in the family, but first born and basically fom hospital would be different?

  2. #20

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    I know of a family who were well known to DOCS, both parents had mental issues due to drug use, etc. They went on to have a 3rd child and that baby was not taken from their care at birth. So my point is that if a family well known to DOCS wouldn't have a bub taken, it must be quite serious indeed for the removal of a 1st baby....how common? I don't know of anyone myself (thankfully) but I don't have that much contact with DOCS- well not on a regular basis.
    Sometimes I suppose they can pre-determine that the parents don't have the mental capacity to safely care for a child (though in the case I just mentioned in my opinion it was obvious the parents we incapible - but they kept the child -until it was about 6 mths old anyway).

    It's all so bl***y sad really. I remember my first time I had to report - I was a fresh director, I knew it was the right thing, didn't stop the tears when the children were seized that day, from my service.....just awful. And the worst part, we don't get follow up info on those children, they disappear into the system and you never hear of them again alot of the time.

  3. #21
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    in my street, a drug using couple had a baby. The baby was born addicted, so was prescribed methadone. The mother chose to sell the methadone, and use it herself, so the baby was in a very bad way. It took our local equiv of DOCS two years, before they took away the child. WHo had lived thru two years of NEEDING methadone, but not being GIVEN methadone. THey live a few doors down from me. (The boyfriend had interfered with the teenage DD, who only a few months ago, was charged by police, for stabbing the step-dad with a knife. Not hearsay, in our daily newspaper). I see kids being used as "cover" by dealers, they deal, with their child in the pram. The basket of the pram, holds the drug deals. Police patrol around here constantly, but still all this goes on. THose poor kids.

  4. #22

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    Babies born drug addicted are often fostered out from birth. Especially if both parents are users.

  5. #23

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    My ex foster sister's baby was to be taken at birth had she not been stillborn. The mum was/is a meth addict.

  6. #24

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    Thanks ladies,
    Hadnt even thought about that. I know the grandfather is an addict (I think speed of something similar); but obviously Im not sure about them

  7. #25

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    I think it is good that Docs is there to protect the vunerable but so sad that it is needed ITMS.
    I saw a premmie bub put into care while in the nursery, the parents where not allowed in...I think that was meth.
    It does sound like there is a little more to the story then what they are saying.

  8. #26

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    Definately has to be rainbowbrite, Ive told my friend Im there for her if she needs to chat. And she said she'll take me up on it. I dont want to know for gossip, but I want to be there for my friend. it has me concerned that a newborn could be taken, the parents told they will not have custody for 12 months or more, the grandfather in court over child abuse claims etc. It has me concerned that my friend has 3 little kids of her own.

    And I agree, Im glad there is an agency that is there to protect the vulnerable, but find it so sad that it is needed and needed so widely in the population.

    I did want to ask, is required to follow a series of steps or is it up to the individual case worker for what happens to a family?

  9. #27

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    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

  10. #28

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    All I can say, working in the area, is that there is a helluva lot more to that story than what you're being told. Absolutely.

    To remove a first time newborn at that age = unusual but does happen. Something's going on that you're not told. I doubt it would be the grandfather - that's just not enough. The case worker determines what to do, in conjunction with a team leader. Occasionally it's run by the legal team too.

    Best wishes.

  11. #29

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    Thanks Divvy!

    Im actually starting to wonder how deep in the story I want to go. My friend is my friend and Im there for her if/when she needs me, but Im now starting to wonder how complicated and vulnerable this babby must be for it to be taken away under such long term circumstances.

    My heart goes out to the case workers and all involved in such heartbreaking roles.

  12. #30

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    It would be unusual for a 6w old baby to be taken away for 12 months. Extremely unusual. It may be that she's getting confused - DOCS may be APPLYING for a 12 month order, rather than already HAVE a 12 month order - see the difference?

    Which is why I'm saying there must be an awful lot more that you're NOT being told.

  13. #31

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    Thanks Divvy, I get ya!

    what you've said (and others) has made sense. And now Im starting to realise just how bad of a situation Im lending my ear to. Im hoping its as you have said and docs are applying for a 12 month order and not the other.

  14. #32

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    All sound so sad.

    Where I used to live there was a boy of 7 at the time (teen now) who used to turn up at our house at 6am and ask for breakfast and to play with our then 2 year old son. We heard the mother scream at the top of her lungs with all doors and windows shut. They lived on the other side of the road two doors down and we were in a very wide court. This boy always had brusing and just to top it off was ADHD (I have an ADHD child and it is hard work but this was real off) all my bells rang about this poor boy so I reported everything to the Police several times then one afternoon the boy turned up at our door with a cast on his arm it was broken badly in two places. I reported again. The school was aware as was half the neighbourhood. The school demanded the boy was medicated for his ADHD and the mother was taking his meds not the boy. Still the boy remained at the house with his mother, stepfather and half sister.
    Eventually they moved and after several months mother rang to ask if I knew any dealers in the area. "Ah NO!" by this stage I was ropable but didn't know where they lived. The stepdad was a nice guy and was the only responsable adult in that house but worked long hours and didn't know about her drug taking but did find her behaviour odd. I don't know how he didn't know.
    Long story short the parents broke up the kids were finally taken away but only after she did major damage to the little man and he ended up in hospital. The stepfather fought for both the kids for months and I'm happy to say that although the boy is scared by what his mother did to him he loves his stepfather to bits, is happy and healthy and on last report is now doing very well at school.
    I wonder why nothing was done earlier, why did he have to endure such torture (so much I have not said) before he finally got to be with the only person who thought the world of him, his stepdad.

  15. #33

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    Oh fromscratch that is hearwrenching to read. Im glad the boy is now happy, but so sad he had to endure so much before someone stepped in.

    So, the whole situation seems to be getting weird (IMO anyhow). So baby 1 was taken as I said in my op, but last week a second baby has been taken. Baby 2 is the first born (again) for my friend's sil (another one but from the same familly.
    But now Im getting worried. This time round my friend says its because the parents arent mentally fit to care for bub. Then my friend said that the parents of baby 1 have got their case reports and apparently it has all those named in the reports and what they have said (which according to the docs website, they do not give out unless to a court??), and those who have been named in the report is the parents of baby 2. According to my friend its because they wanted to get priority on public housing and made up lies?

    I just dont get it, something major is going on. And Im mainly worried that my friend is going to end up under docs watch (which apparently they have been before), and her lo's will be taken. Im worried that she doesnt get how serious things must be for 2 newborns to be taken from their parents (from hospital both times). Im just so sad and worried for her.

  16. #34

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    The reason I don't have my youngest with me is because of PND&A but my eldest has been taken into care because he was having contact with my great grandmother whos late husband was a pedo and people have reported that to DCP.

  17. #35

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    Thanks damprye,



    Found out a little more, the mum of one of the babies taken ended up in hospital after 'one of their usual fights' . So I think there is definately more to the story than she ever told, but Im sure the pedo charges are part of it, including now what sounds like domestic and emotional abuse. Im sure theres more too..

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