As I've said elsewhere, I'm a bit of a discipline nazi (for the important stuff anyway, I'm also a messy person so I don't give two hoots about mess as long as it doesn't smell, isn't sticky and you can still walk around the house without injury - and it does actually get cleaned up occasionally not be permanent) so DD#1 is quite well behaved, very good at school, etc etc. The little one has picked up what we try and impart better than the big one so she's politer and more helpful but she's two so it comes with tantrums :D It helps that DD#1 doesn't generally ask questions, so she doesn't ever nag for anything (she hints and complains instead), and this makes her look extremely well behaved. So none of her teachers have ever flagged an issue. They use words like 'intriguing' about her stories of people being murdered in horrible ways, with illustrations to match (her life-long favourite topic).
I have a feeling that if I just let DD#1 get away with everything she wants to get away with and not give her any boundaries, or make idle threats that aren't followed through (all of which happen sometimes when she is visiting other people), she'd be really horrible, as she often is when she comes back from holidays. But this applies to any child.

