Standing on the outside looking in...our life with autism

Maz you're amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your story, your strength and love as a mother has really given me hope. So much of what you've said i can relate to. The grieving, the frustration and anger and feeling so alone and isolated as a parent.
I look forward to your next post. Your posts are helping more people than you realise, it is so comforting to know i'm not the only mother feeling this way. Its so refreshing to read such an honest and open account of your life and the sadness and elation that goes with parenting a child with autism.

God bless you.

Maz thank you for sharing your story and for being so honest. It has helped me to understand what a friend of mine is going through. :hug:

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My boy smiled at me...he said mum and smiled at me. He didnt scream at me, lash out with throwing a car at me or the chair...he didnt head butt the ground..he searched for me, found me and made eye contact with me....we were winning......we were breaking through.

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What a beautiful memory :D. Thanks for sharing Maz.

Wow, make you realise how much you take for granted. What a special moment that will be treasured forever.

Maz :hug:

You tell your story so beautifully !

You are an inspiration - thankyou so much for sharing.
You are helping me to understand - thankyou :D

xxoo

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My boy smiled at me...he said mum and smiled at me. He didnt scream at me, lash out with throwing a car at me or the chair...he didnt head butt the ground..he searched for me, found me and made eye contact with me....we were winning......we were breaking through.

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Maz :hug:
oh im holding back the tears at the absolute love in your words. So beautifully written, thankyou, just thankyou.

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t.when he suddly stopped rocking, turned to me, looked me in the eye and said mum. I was screaming on the inside..woo hooo and holding back the tears I simply answered him with yes Wilhelm...he smiled at me....winked and then looked back at the telly and that was that....he never rocked again from that day.
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OHHH what a memorable momment for you. I am crying reading this.

hugs

xoxo

what a special little guy - you must be so proud of him and the progress that you have made. you are incredible.

Maz i check in everyday to this thread and i look forward to reading your entries as they have helped me gain an insight into what a friend of mine is just starting to go through. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us into what must be just a small piece of how your life is - you are truly amazing :hug: - as for that teacher.....well my mum always told me if I don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all, so i won't on that matter ;) - Thank you again for your sharing you story

Maz - the stress I'm under at work seems now completely meaningless. What you face every day must be so like living in a pressure cooker...

I can only say thank you so much for sharing this and enlightening me. I really had no idea how completely overwhelming Autism could be.

Do you want to start up another thread (or put it in here) about what we 'ignoramuses' should do if we meet a child with autism? I would hate to set off an episode by trying to be kind.. It's fine if you don't want to (heck - you've got enough on your plate!) - I would just like the advice. I'll go looking at Autism sites for it if you're not able, as I feel it's very important to me now!

I have giggled and cried while reading this thread and as usual you have left me wanting more....

thankyou for sharing your journey and letting us in from the other side

thanks for sharing Maz

that sounds glib, but you know how i mean it (genuinely).

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ONe boy started screaming, then it set another one off, and in the end all 4 SN boy's were looking at each other screaming. As they say when in Rome and me being me...I began screaming with them, the the other girls joined in....it was so unbelievable.

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:rofl:

Maz, thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
It really does open our eyes as to what it's like to walk a day in your shoes and all I can say is you are truly an amazing woman!

Maz this is the most amazing story. I went to a course for teachers on monday with a psychologist who specialises in ASD and Autism and much of what you have said he talked to us about. I think you are the most wonderful mother, you deserve a medal.

I'm rather disappointed with Autism SA who have not responded to my Email of two weeks ago..

I guess you will be my only source of enlightenment Maz! ;)

i gotta apologize i have not been reading your posts maz but i will do when i have a clearer mind i have subscribed so i can come back later and read cause i do want to read.

Mate I know when you've gotten quiet that things are hard. :hug: sew away... disappear for a minute or two.... and breath.

AH you know me to well hon......trying to put the words that are messing around in my head down but a wall keeps coming up blocking the way.

:hug: thanks babe

Wow Maz I only found this today.. What I have read so far is so amazing.. Thank you so so much for sharing this amazing journey with us.. You are such a strong lady and wonderful mother.. :hug:

Maz, I have seen this thread quite a few times pop up, but never actually sat down and read it. This morning whilst having my cup of tea I read every word, every page. I cried & I laughed. I cried for your 'knowing' that something wasn't right, I cried when you grieved for the child you didn't have and I cried when you felt the sadness of what was to come. Coming from an abusive upbringing, I know that it can sound patronising when people say 'wow your amazing to have come so far bla bla bla' so please believe me when I say I do not want to patronise you or make you into some sort of matyr for doing something that sadly many families do, but I truly do think you, and women like you are amazing. I had a shocking day with Ava-Jayde yesterday, but in comparisin to what you go through on a daily basis it was nothing. And that's not to say that doesn't give us mothers that don't have children with autism any less of a right to whinge and b**tch and moan when our kids are giving us the irrits, it just means that for me, personally, I can put it into perspective and think that yes there are many worse things that I could be dealing with in regards to my child. As soon as I finished these 4 pages, I grabbed my daughter and held her tight. Thank you so much for sharing your story maz, I truly mean it when i say you have definately changed my perspective on things. I can't wait to read your next instalment. :hug:

Right now i am at work doing night shift as a nurse. My other job is working casually as a respite care for kids with special needs. Alot of our clients are kids with autism and some of the things you have been writing about are things i have come across whilst at work. Reading your experiences has cemented the love i already have for my job. The highlight of my job is seeing a child do "something special", which as you know is sometimes the simplest things like eye contact, touching you, or even leaving their clothes on in public. I suppose the other highlight and its something that comes from within me is knowing by doing my job it give the parents a well desevered break. Time to rekindle marriages, spoil other kids........time to just feel human and get ready to do it all again.
Good on you for writing about this and sharing it with us all

Claire

i must say i am so grateful for you for sharing your experiences from living with autisim. it is something that most people really struggle to share.
my cousin is a SN child, going to a special needs school in melbourne, reading about your steps forward and back made me smile and want to cry alternatively but remind me of our girl and how devestating the steps backwards have been. i hope things keep progressing with more steps forward than backward :wink:
Clare

Wow maz- thank you for sharing your families journey with us xoxoxo

Get me a tissue... :cry:

Maz I have never read this thread but am so glad I did tonight! Your an amazing woman and your beautiful children are so lucky to have you. Thakyou for sharing your story in its raw untouched nature :hug:

Thankyou for sharing your story, and the things youve had to do to get through day to day. I always thought 'it would be hard/a challange/a struggle' but you never think how much...the little things like having a meal together as a family isn't as simple as it should be.

Amazing how many things we take for granted.

thankyou for sharing

Maz thank you so very much for sharing your son's journey. It has meant a lot to me to read it.

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I was in the kitchen, he was watching tv in the lounge while I was preparing tea in the kitchen and I watch him...when he suddly stopped rocking, turned to me, looked me in the eye and said mum. I was screaming on the inside..woo hooo and holding back the tears I simply answered him with yes Wilhelm...he smiled at me....winked and then looked back at the telly and that was that....he never rocked again from that day. My boy smiled at me...he said mum and smiled at me. He didnt scream at me, lash out with throwing a car at me or the chair...he didnt head butt the ground..he searched for me, found me and made eye contact with me....we were winning......we were breaking through.

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Oh lordy I sobbed. I'm so glad your son had this break though... what a memory. I ache for this day.