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We had been planning a baby for a very long time and had names picked for both which a few people in the family knew about. It took us ages to conveive but in the meantime my silly 16yr old SIL got pregnant to her drop kick bf, found out she was having a girl and used our girl name & deliberately rubbed it in our face. It hurt heaps and also as we didnt conceive until she was 5months pregnant so it was a really hard time on top of it all, so I know how you feel.
I know people cant control what people call their kids, but I do think its rude, hurtful & outright mean to use a name that you know a loved one is planning to use if they have a bub on the way or are desperately trying to conceive!
And as for using the name anyway.. Its not something I would do. I like different names & certainly dont want my child having the same name as their cousin that they will see all the time.
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Good on you for sticking with the name :)
If you really love a name you should go for it regardless of what anyone else chooses.