Baby number two, give it to me straight....

Thank you for all your replies, like i said i want warts and all and thank you also for the beautiful posts about how lovely it is to have two close together. Its good to know that its not going to be a walk in the park but having ds was also very difficult (not that i remember that now) so i guess i need to expect that. By the looks of things the secret is a good sling and a double pram lol! I have a wonderful support network and also have met some amazing mothers in mothers group that i count as my closest friends that will drop everything for me so we will be able to do it i sure. As my mum said to me, this is what i was born to do!

I am another with an 18 month age gap- and while it was difficult in the first few months, I look back now and would never take it back. I remember some days when everybody would just sit and have a good cry together, but it really didnt last forever and now I a just used to life as a mumma of 2 (must be doing ok, we are planning #3). I think for me the hardest thing was getting out and about, DS was a reflux baby and just fed, cried and spewed constantly, and DD was goin through a stage of trying to assert her independence, but like you say with a good pram, and a good sling it really isnt that difficult. I find it much easier now I have some good friends in the same position because we can just visit each other, rather than going out out.
I look at my 2 now though (3.3 & 21 months) and they are just getting so indpendent, starting to play together well, and just love each other so much, I could never want to take it back, even if the first few months went by in a blur!

My first 2 are 25 months apart. Initially I found going out a little difficult because DD1 was not quite up to walking independantly beside me. She used to just take off. However this only last a few months and by the time she was 2.5 years life got easier. Now they are nearly 4 and 2 and they play wonderfully together.

There is 19 months between my 2nd and 3rd and I find it extremely difficult going out with both the nb and my toddler. Mainly because my toddler hates prams and being restrained and she chucks tanties whenever we put her in the car seat. Believe me I am tired even before I drive out of the drive way. Right now my toddler is just a little too young to completely understand instructions and she is very clingy and demanding. Some times I just have to let her roll around on the floor crying until I have finished feeding or attending to the baby. This causes me a lot of stress and guilt at times.

There is 3.5 years between my eldest and youngest and I love this age gap. My eldest helps me and she talks to the baby and she understands when I can't help her. I really enjoy this age gap for now.

Personally I think an age gap of anywhere between 2.5years and 3.5 years is great for me. HTH

Goodluck ttc

Well, our second hasn't been born yet, but I'll add my two cents anyway :lol:.

I was all for TTC again when DS turned 1. But as the time approached, I became less sure, and decided to hold off for a bit. The second year of DS's life was a hard one for me......he became a regular tantruming toddler, he was sick ALOT through that winter, he had allergy issues which became very hard to deal with until we understood them. But mostly it was just the toddler behaviour stuff LOL. I can honestly say that life has become so much easier since just before he turned 2, and that was when I decided I was ready to TTC again (DH was already ready). If I now think about what it would be like if we'd had another baby sooner, even at the start of this year, I shudder! Seriously. But I feel much better about things knowing that DS will be very close to 3 (which was my aim). I know that any age gap will have it's challenges, but I just feel that this is the one that will work best for us. Well, TBH, I think an even bigger gap would have suited us better, but DH is very keen not to be too old, and I was thinking about having babies all the time :rofl:. And I do think it will be so lovely for DS to have a sibling.

You will know what's right for you. And while I do agree with Bath about being ready to TTC when it's all you think about, I do think that if there are other things holding you back, that feeling and obsession will still be there in 6 months ;). It won't go anywhere hun! Good luck :)

ETA Oh, and I just wanted to add that I've really, really enjoyed the last 6 months with DS, it has been such a pleasure spending one on one time with him as he becomes a little man :D. Not that I haven't enjoyed all of his life, but the last 6 months have been a wonderful time of getting to know each other, ITMS.

Great post Kellie...My two little ones do all those things too!! hehe Very adorable.

One thing I also love about having them close, is how much my DD learnt by having DS around. Sharing, being caring, having to think about some else's feelings, looking after a baby, bf'ing etc...I love the fact that she is learning all those things at such a young age.

:

---

Wait until you are actually pregnant and you have a SHOCKING day with your DS - then you'll be thinking "holy crap, what the hell have I done?!!?"

lol

---

ha, ha, so that's a normal feeling is it? I had my whole, I'm not going to cope with a baby and a toddler rant last night!

Isabel - I still have days when I'm feeling apprehensive about having number 2 and its a bit late for me! I keep telling myself that I'll cope because I have to, and I'll somehow manage to get out everyday, coz I know being at home will drive me crazy. I think mainly trips out will be confined to friends houses because then it won't matter if I didn't make it to the shower, and my clothes are covered with baby sick! And the other thing to remember is, no 2 babies are the same - the next bub might sleep anyway and everywhere so it might be easier.
Reluctant that I am about it, I think we're getting the Phil and Teds, so I can strap DD in if I need to, and this will help us get out. Plus I think a capsule, rather than just straight into the reversible seat, will make things easier.

Some days i think that just getting pregnant and not thinking about it is a better idea as i wont be able to talk myself out of it lol. Somedays like today i think no way till L is at school but other days i just want to go for it now lol.

Phil and Teds do a side by side that i have seen during my research Sam. I dont think i have seen it in the stores though but it looks slightly more compact than other side by sides. You can come to my house any time, we dont often shower here either :doh:

Isabel, I love having two close together (19 months apart) and at this age it's great - they are best buddies and so close. In fact they have always been close - DS1 was never jealous.

But I won't kid you - the first year or so was very heavy going. DS2 had colic for about 4 months and screamed day and night. Then he started sleeping really well - but this meant he would sleep all morning, then DS1 would go down for his day sleep. By the time DS1 woke up, DS2 was ready to go back down. Most days getting out of the house was just too hard, as one would have to miss his sleep and be cranky - and being out with a cranky child and another one also is really hard work.

After DS2 dropped down to one day sleep, it was fantastic. They would both sleep at the same time - for at least 2 hours so we could go out, and I still got time to myself.

I think if you have two close together you need to be prepared for the fact that it will affect your socialising for a while. If you have people who can come to you it's a great help, otherwise you go stir crazy (thank goodness for BB!!). But it is only a while and then there are so many good things about a small age gap.

I have 3 years between all mine.
At the start with the girls it was great. DD1 was TT through the day & over night by the time DD2 was 4 months old. DD1 loved to help & was excellent! She was so much more grown up & understood alot more than DD2 at the same age.
Now though, most of the time, they are unbelievably competitive. I think its more coz they are both girls. My bro & I are 2 years apart & were never ever like that at all.

When DS came along it was a bit harder. DD2 didn't understand why she couldn't feed him (with a spoon at 2 weeks old!), or take his temperature (orally at 3 weeks old, lol), but we got past it & they are mates now. Always up to mischeif together!

I'm happy enough. Just gotta hope they get along as good as me & my bro when they are older. My sister, 6 years younger than me is a spoilt PITA.... But thats just her personality.

IsabelB- Hi there.
Jake and Zac were just about to turn 5 when I had Logan. Originally we werent going to have anymore, but then decided we would like just 1 more. At the start I worried about how I was going to cope, but then when I thought about it, I knew I would. I was lucky in the sense that Jake and Zac are TT, and they can do pretty much everything for themselves. Because they are older, going into the shops was alot easier, as I only had to carry 1.

As AJP said, only u and DH will know when the time is right. GL with TTC.