How long did it take for you to find your groove with second baby?

Pretty quickly a week or so probably - I am a very non-routine person, and cope with change/fluidity quite easily and as had never really done the routine thing with DD so wasn't too different with DS. He just fitted in with whatever. If anything is now 8 months down the line am finding more awkward as he is now not happy to sit in stroller, he wants to be out commando crawling etc so now I have to think about doing different things in terms of activities as some are not great for a commando crawling baby. E.g. We used to go to Prahran market regularly on Tuesday for the animal farm and he would either be sleeping or just happy to watch from stroller, now he wouldn't be happy in it and isn't the sort of place he can commando crawl around. The early days of sleeping/feeding etc were far easier I reckon.

Jumping into this thread as wondering how it will all pan out for us too.... Interesting to read the varied experiences.

So far DS is still needing and having a day nap, I am hoping this will continue for most of this year, but who knows..............

Good Thread PRM ;)

It took a lot longer than I hoped unfortunately. DD was quite young 2.3yrs and DS had reflux so the first few months were not much fun (most of it is a blur!). I think the turning point was when DS started solids so around 5-6 months. Of course looking back it was all worth it :)

I found it pretty easy with dd2, we were out and about the day after she came home, going to post office, dropping dd1 at day care etc so we were in the groove pretty quickly. She was fully bf, so we learnt to feed wherever we were much better than lugging around bottles. Nights were a bit harder as she had mild reflux and was unsettled. I found it harder going from 2 to 3.

It is taking awhile here, DD2 is 5 months old and I'm not sure we are totally there yet? I had the combination of cruisey first born (cruisey when she was a baby, not now!!) then much harder refluxy don't-want-to-sleep, other medical issues second born. Age gap 2 years 3 months. DD1 had pretty much given up her day sleep before DD2 was born - but wasn't getting enough sleep so was permanently tired and grumpy - and refused to have a nappy on when DD2 was 3 weeks old. Though if I was being truthful I would say it has taken almost all that time (perhaps all that time, not sure if I've even found it yet?) just to find my groove with DD2 alone without considering DD1 in the mix, she is not the worlds greatest feeder and it just seems to be one struggle after another just keeping her fed and putting on weight.

I think I was in shock for the first 6 months or so with my first, and I was probably still in a fog when he turned one :D He was a full on baby! He cried a lot and fed all the time, never self settled, woke frequently...so I was fully expecting another high needs baby when his little brother arrived. But I'm pleased to say that Buster is a very laid back baby and so we found our groove very quickly this time, he just fits right in with a smile on his little face :D He was born on a Friday and I took him to Moo's music class on the Wednesday followed by shopping!

My first son continues to be my challenge almost 4 months on, I think it all comes down to them being individuals. I'm fairly certain if I'd had Buster first and Moo second I'd be telling a very different story!

Can I say immediately and never at the same time?

What I mean is that having two never seemed anywhere near as hard as I imagined. We were out and about very quickly BUT DD2 never settled into a routine (maybe because we were out and about TOO quickly) and I struggled to get her to have more than one 45 minute nap per day. Plus we had BFing difficulties, she had reflux and was really quite whingy. So that was all a bit tricky.

Having said that, I didn't feel too stressed because I felt more experienced and I think you know that tomorrow's another day and what seems like a huge problem on a particular day won't be a huge problem for too long.

DD1 was an incredibly easy baby so I think it just balances out.

it's fascinating to read all the different experiences. It sounds like it's so different depending on the little people! For me, we had a 2 year age gap. My first was a cruisey boy despite allergies & feeding issues, a great sleeper. My second was an unhappy refluxy bub and at 6 weeks old was sleeping less in the day than my toddler... and boy was she grumpy for the rest of the time. I quickly did whatever I could to get through. Lots of wearing bub... but on the plus side, she was a great feeder. When she was 2.5 months my DH got sick and remained sick on & off (up until now actually - and she's 18 months old). When she was 5 months old and Mummy was still desperately taking one day at a time - something had to give, and I got some help with her sleep which saved my sanity. I think it retrospect that the best thing you can do is ... be prepared to do whatever you have to. If your toddler has a bit much TV, so be it. If you have to let your bubba cry sometimes, so be it. No matter what, sometimes with two little people there just isn't enough parent(s) to go around. I still remember one day trying to get her to sleep with my toddler crying at the baby gate for "cuggles pweese mummy". My heart just broke in two that day. And I remember days where I had exhausted every single option in my toolkit - walking, strollering, rocking, cuddling, wearing... you name it, she was still awake and still crying. But you know what? At the end of the day you get through it. And everyone gets fed (somehow). And they love you. And they cuddle you. And they don't turn to you and say, "remember that day last year when you were really tired, snappy and in tears".

And the flip side. The first time she really LAUGHED... was sitting at the dinnertable in her highchair she was just KACKING herself at her brother. And I must admit once she was over 6 months old I found that easier too. When bub is littler, getting the toddler to a playground and feeding bub while toddler plays - that helps everyone no end.

I'll be honest, I feel like I've been to hell & back over the last few years (but some of that is to do with my DH's health issues), but boy i'm tough now. I can . do . anything. And regardless of what kinda baby your second baby is, you'll have some days where you feel a total mess, and you'll have other days where you start to dare to dream that you're superwoman. Having little ones is hard work no matter what kinda babies you have, but they curl those little chubby arms around your neck, and... before you know it, they're both running around and you realise you made it through the baby stage with a toddler. And you think, I did it!

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it's fascinating to read all the different experiences. It sounds like it's so different depending on the little people! For me, we had a 2 year age gap. My first was a cruisey boy despite allergies & feeding issues, a great sleeper. My second was an unhappy refluxy bub and at 6 weeks old was sleeping less in the day than my toddler... and boy was she grumpy for the rest of the time. I quickly did whatever I could to get through. Lots of wearing bub... but on the plus side, she was a great feeder. When she was 2.5 months my DH got sick and remained sick on & off (up until now actually - and she's 18 months old). When she was 5 months old and Mummy was still desperately taking one day at a time - something had to give, and I got some help with her sleep which saved my sanity. I think it retrospect that the best thing you can do is ... be prepared to do whatever you have to. If your toddler has a bit much TV, so be it. If you have to let your bubba cry sometimes, so be it. No matter what, sometimes with two little people there just isn't enough parent(s) to go around. I still remember one day trying to get her to sleep with my toddler crying at the baby gate for "cuggles pweese mummy". My heart just broke in two that day. And I remember days where I had exhausted every single option in my toolkit - walking, strollering, rocking, cuddling, wearing... you name it, she was still awake and still crying. But you know what? At the end of the day you get through it. And everyone gets fed (somehow). And they love you. And they cuddle you. And they don't turn to you and say, "remember that day last year when you were really tired, snappy and in tears".

And the flip side. The first time she really LAUGHED... was sitting at the dinnertable in her highchair she was just KACKING herself at her brother. And I must admit once she was over 6 months old I found that easier too. When bub is littler, getting the toddler to a playground and feeding bub while toddler plays - that helps everyone no end.

I'll be honest, I feel like I've been to hell & back over the last few years (but some of that is to do with my DH's health issues), but boy i'm tough now. I can . do . anything. And regardless of what kinda baby your second baby is, you'll have some days where you feel a total mess, and you'll have other days where you start to dare to dream that you're superwoman. Having little ones is hard work no matter what kinda babies you have, but they curl those little chubby arms around your neck, and... before you know it, they're both running around and you realise you made it through the baby stage with a toddler. And you think, I did it!

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Love this post - very well said. Sounds like we have had similar kidlets! Your 'moment' reminds me of some of our early days, me standing in the bathroom trying to BF DD2 while also trying to undress DD1 and get her on the toilet NOW (because with early toilet training there is only NOW). It is a hopeless mess some days but you get there!

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Bless! I also borrowed a sling off Det (thanks Det!) which we used HEAPS while out and about, and a HAB, which we used not as much, and had my trusty Ergo. Have you got carriers hun?

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I've got a caboo on order. Hopefully will keep me going for a little while.

These experiences are great. Thanks for sharing them all. DD is usually a chilled out kid, but I'm expecting some upheaval with her when bub is here. I'm really hoping we can get into things asap.

Also I remember saying to my dad in the early days about how I felt bad because with DS he was often handed over to them so I could do stuff with DD, or left sleeping and not cooed over etc etc - and my dad made a good point that all the time you are feeding a new born, cuddling them to sleep etc they are having the contact with you that they need, when they are feeding they are close to you which is what they want - the fact you might be reading their elder sibling a story at the same time etc doesn't matter to them. They will adore their sibling and although their early days may be quite different to that of your first child, they are not any worse off is just different (the amount of joy the baby gets from their elder siblings is enormous - sometimes I am a bit jealous of how DS is with DD - if she is about that is where his eyes are, and she extracts the best giggles from him and always has :-))

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it's fascinating to read all the different experiences. It sounds like it's so different depending on the little people! For me, we had a 2 year age gap. My first was a cruisey boy despite allergies & feeding issues, a great sleeper. My second was an unhappy refluxy bub and at 6 weeks old was sleeping less in the day than my toddler... and boy was she grumpy for the rest of the time. I quickly did whatever I could to get through. Lots of wearing bub... but on the plus side, she was a great feeder. When she was 2.5 months my DH got sick and remained sick on & off (up until now actually - and she's 18 months old). When she was 5 months old and Mummy was still desperately taking one day at a time - something had to give, and I got some help with her sleep which saved my sanity. I think it retrospect that the best thing you can do is ... be prepared to do whatever you have to. If your toddler has a bit much TV, so be it. If you have to let your bubba cry sometimes, so be it. No matter what, sometimes with two little people there just isn't enough parent(s) to go around. I still remember one day trying to get her to sleep with my toddler crying at the baby gate for "cuggles pweese mummy". My heart just broke in two that day. And I remember days where I had exhausted every single option in my toolkit - walking, strollering, rocking, cuddling, wearing... you name it, she was still awake and still crying. But you know what? At the end of the day you get through it. And everyone gets fed (somehow). And they love you. And they cuddle you. And they don't turn to you and say, "remember that day last year when you were really tired, snappy and in tears".

And the flip side. The first time she really LAUGHED... was sitting at the dinnertable in her highchair she was just KACKING herself at her brother. And I must admit once she was over 6 months old I found that easier too. When bub is littler, getting the toddler to a playground and feeding bub while toddler plays - that helps everyone no end.

I'll be honest, I feel like I've been to hell & back over the last few years (but some of that is to do with my DH's health issues), but boy i'm tough now. I can . do . anything. And regardless of what kinda baby your second baby is, you'll have some days where you feel a total mess, and you'll have other days where you start to dare to dream that you're superwoman. Having little ones is hard work no matter what kinda babies you have, but they curl those little chubby arms around your neck, and... before you know it, they're both running around and you realise you made it through the baby stage with a toddler. And you think, I did it!

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Such a beautiful post :) thanks for the honesty.

My DD is nearly 5 months old and we haven't found our groove yet. She has severe reflux, reading the above posts it seems so many bubbas have to suffer through it :(

DS wasn't an easy baby either. He swapped day for night but by 6 months he was sleeping through the night. It was harder to adapt to life at home which I found quite lonely until DS became a toddler and we did some more interesting things.

I'm afraid to think when we will get our groove this time around. 9 months and 1 year seems to be common opinion of when she will outgrow her reflux. That is when I'll breathe a sigh of relief. But for now we do have the occasional good day. She babbles and loves her mummy. She adores her brother & daddy.

Were staying with my parents for the moment as the sleep deprivation was too much. She cries alot especially when changes are introduced and my DS was very unhappy. I never expected it to be like this. But it is what it is and one day we will be over it. I think it comes down to the little person you will meet soon. All the best :)