Stacey I couldn't agree more. :shakehead:
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Stacey I couldn't agree more. :shakehead:
I'm waiting until DD is old enough to tell me if she'd like it done or not.....rather than not giving her the choice. Particularly when pain is involved.
I had to wait until my 12th birthday to get it done, although at the time I thought that was unfair, I can see why Mum waited. :)
It's not tacky, it's just not NECESSARY.
TACKY is not a word id use, it sounds very immature to me when we are talking about LITTLE GIRLS.
i dont believe my baby girl looks TACKY in any way what so eva.
I personally would wait until DD is old enough to ask to have them, old enough for good judgement (that is weigh up the pain, chance of infections, etc against having earrings) and also old enough to have stopped growing. I had to wait until I was 13 before getting my ears done so that my most of my growing was finished and I understood the pros and cons.
Some girls don't ever want their ears pierced. I would hate to force that on someone.
Personally I'm not a fan and I don't want to do anything to my girls until they are ready and they ask. I was 12 when I got mine done and it was my "gift" for finishing primary school. I am glad I waited as it made me appreciate them and it is something special to me. I would like that for my daughters too.
Also I would never do something like that without consulting DP - he would be angry and extremely hurt. With anything like that where it is something special or a "first" he wants to be there to be a part of it.
Getting ears pierced might be a little bit painful and I think they would want their mummy there ... nothing even comes close to cuddles from mummy (and daddy) for a little kid. It might be a bit traumatising for them to be taken by your DP's cousin for something like that and it could have a really bad impact on their relationship. It might also badly affect your DP's relationship with his cousin and cause all sorts of problems.:
I can understand your reasoning for wanting your girls' ears pierced, but make it special and do it with the support your your DP :)
I had to wait until I was 12 and in retrospect I am glad my parents made me wait. I believe that any sort of body modification should be the choice of the person being modified. I think that if I ever have a daughter I will 1. wait for her to express a genuine desire to have her ears pierced and 2. make sure she is at an age where she can take responsibility for the cleaning/turning etc.
I feel uncomfortable with the concept of piercing a childs ear lobes for a purely asthetic effect. I don't judge those parents who have made the decision on their child's behalf, but it is not a decision I would personally make.
ETA: I really strongly suggest not going against your DP's wishes. Imagine if the shoes were on the other foot and you didn't want them and he went behind your back? It is a pretty deceitful thing IMO and I'd hate for it to cause a fight between you two.
I'm not a fan of earrings on babies but each to their own.
I'm more concerned about you wanting to go behind your DP's back. If I told DH that I didn't want my boys to have their ears pierced or their hair cut and he went out and did it anyway I would be utterly furious.
And asking your DP's cousin to be the fall guy is really underhand. It's not just disrespecting your DH it's also causing trouble between him and his family.
I think the tacky has been used because that is what the op asked.:
She said "do you think it's tacky"
i got my ears pierced when i was only a few months and my sister too. We got ours done with a needle. It was more of a cultural thing I think.
I never lost my earrings and our ears never got infected. My sister always lost her earrings though!
I also find them cute on girls but cannot subject DD to them as she is already mega mega scared of injections let alone a loud gun, so for me, i will be waiting.
Goodluck with convincing your DH, afterall the choice is yours =)
I had mine done at 6 but DD's ear lobes are too tiny. I was going to get them done but I think I'll wait a bit. I call her Pixie because she has really tiny but slightly pointed ears :lol:
Hey There Chick,
My girls both have their ears pierced. Claudia was just over 12 weeks old & Jess was closer to 5 months. Jess had very small ear lobes & they wouldn't pierce them until they were big enough - which is why I waited longer. For me, I just preferred to have them done when they were little & didn't know to pull & tug at them & make them infected.
It's completely a personal opinion though but I really stress you gets DH's 'approval' first. Just because you are piercing them, KWIM?
Now that Jess is 6 & Claudia is almost 4, Santa always leaves them a cute pair of earrings in their santa sacks at Christmas. You can pick cute little hoops or birth stone studs up at the jewellers when they are on sale. I just recomment that you always put either sterling silver or gold in their ears. I find that if it's not pure, they make my kids ears infected.
HTH!
Love Jayne
PS _ Taking a lollypop along with you works an absolute treat!!! As soon as the gun goes off, shove the lollypop in their mouth. Mine were too young for that, but I have seen it on the older kids & it's a brilliant distraction.
I don't like it on babies at all. I agree that it's something they should ask for, and get done when they're old enough to look after them themselves. When I read the circumcision comment, I must admit, that thought entered my mind too (altho I probably wouldn't make a direct comparison) It's cosmetic, and I think it should be up to the person that's getting it done.
Plus.. it's one less present you have to think up when they're older! haha. It was great fun going and getting my ears pierced, and I still remember reading the card from mum that said I could go and get them done :)
I've never had my ears pierced and also don't plan to. I would be upset to have had that choice made for me.
DD will be able to decide for herself when she can understand the responsibility.
I am not a fan of any piercing in children, unless it is a cultural thing (eg tribal/very old tradition) - and I am heavily pierced myself.
If you want to do it, go ahead, as they are your children and they are too young to make the decision for themselves at the moment....but please get it done at a reputable piercer with a needle. The ear lobe is just skin, so it won't hurt much. I think most of the reason why guns hurt is that the blunt end of the stud is being forced through at great speed, with a lot of pressure. It's like getting a piercing where a clamp is used (navel/tongue) and most people end up with more pain, bruising and swelling from the clamp than from the actual needle. I can vouch for this...clamps hurt! Not on bits like ear lobes though, becuase it's stretchy skin.
I had my lobes done when I was 10, at a chemist with a gun, and I have had endless problems with them UNLESS I wear sleepers (which of course you cannot do right away with a gun piercing). If I even so much as put studs in for a day, they get infected.
It's totally up to you. Personally though, if I was in your position and my DH didn't like the idea, I would wait.
Yeah, gotta say I am totally against it. I couldn't stand to cause DD in what is my opinion unnessary pain, I hate her crying when she falls over let alone when it is something that is of my doing. DD will be alot older, probably 12 /13 before she is allowed. I think kids grow up to quickly and are wanting to look like adults way before their time.
Definitely don't go behind your DH's back, if my DH took my little DS off to get a haircut and cut off all his curls I would be furious and that's an understatement.
Each to their own.
:yeahthat::
I'm against it, but for this reason: I worked in a jewellery store before I went to uni and once had to pierce the ears of a 3 month old baby.
I'm still traumatised. She screamed the house down. Seriously. I cried when she and her mother left the shop.
No way would I do it to my little one. She can have them done when she is old enough to ask me and know what is happening and what it means.
Each to their own though, they do look very pretty.
Wow.
Why do people pierce babies ears so young?
I'm curious. Honestly, the thought never even occurred to me before this thread. No way I'd do it, I just see no need to inflict pain for beauty when a child is so young.:
In some cultures it's the norm.
I prefer the tiny little gold bangles and anklets myself.
http://www.newbornbabyzone.com/wp-co...lls-anklet.jpg
Not only do they look adorable but the tinkle of little bells makes it easy to find them.
Sometimes I think maybe it is a gender thing.
Now I am NOT judging here, but I was in the shops on the weekend with P at a cafe at at the table next to us was a Mum with 3 boys and a girl. The girl was the youngest and had a physical disability/slight deformity and was about P's age, maybe closer to 2, but was TINY. She was obviouly happy and well natured but you could tell from her size and physicality that earlier in life she hasn't been well.
She was top to toe in pink with pierced ears.
I say again - I am NOT judging - but I AM curious as to why it was done. If I had a baby with health issues, I wouldn't make it a priority to get her ears pierced. So I wonder why they were done.
I immediately thought maybe that the Mum was so wanting a little girl after 3 boys that she just wanted her to be very girly and 'pretty'. (I write pretty like that becuase everyone's idea of pretty is different!)
Now, I am a bit of a dirty hippy in this regard and just want my kids to be and look whoever and however they feel right being...whoever they feel they 'are'....but I totally understand that some people like the girls to look girly and their boys to look boyish.
I had my ears pierced when I was 6. I had two more ear piercings when I was 14. I had my belly button pierced at 18, my tongue pierced at 21, and two tattoos at 22 and 26 respectively. All the piercings and tattoos were reflections of my personality and self-expression (although at 6, I could have waited a few years and arguably wasn't able to comprehend the event) and so I am also curious as to why parents would make that choice for their little babies. To me, it seems to be more about the parents (seemingly from many of the above posts, the mother in particular) and not about the little girls.
Ditto Persephone...all my piercings were done when I was older (with the exception of my first lobes at 12, but I asked for them myself)...I started piercing at 16 and now have 22 piercings.
I guess it's no different to any other type of parenting choice... people weigh up risks and make a decision that is best for them.
Did I pierce my ears for myself? No I didn't. I did it because I had it done when I was little I don't remember it and I've never ever ever thought to myself I wish my parents hadn't put me through such awful mutilation... not once. I sat with my friends at 6, 10, 12 and saw how terrified they were, how some got infected because they played with them with dirty hands etc and the rejections.
I just asked my daughter in a very unbiased way if she wished I hadn't got her ears pierced (now keep in mind we've never talked about it before) and her response was "no way!" I said but would you have preferred to choose it for yourself. To which she replied "Mum you know what I'm like with needles/pain... if you didn't do it I don't know that I ever would have."
So maybe I'm just lucky but that is why I did it because that is how I felt too.
So not all mothers do it out of their own selfish reasons. I know I didn't. And can I just say I've heard mothers say the opposite too... I have a gf who said she wasn't going to get it done because she wanted to take her to get it done when she was old enough to feel and remember the pain so she wouldn't go nuts and get herself pierced all over in her teens. And I know this isn't the case as I know plenty of people who never had their ears pierced but went on to have many piercings.
Just because it is not something you would do please don't make assumptions about another persons reasons for why they make the parenting choices they are. I am not a monster nor am I ignorant or sadistic.
hahaha I'm so not listing my past piercings :hide::
I had my ears first done when little, with a gun and had nothing but problems and took them out. I wanted to have them redone in year 11 and went to a qualified piercer and never had a problem.
My friend is from Goa, but she lives here now. She has a 9 month old daughter and her family have been pressuring her to get her DD's ears pierced since birth :o
That's the norm in their culture. She was shocked to hear my thoughts on the matter and how I expressed the pain that the little girl was in when I pierced her ears. She didn't think it hurt!! :o
for me, it was because we wanted to. plain and simple. it wasn't cultural, it wasn't due to pressure, it wasn't to make her more girly or anything like that. we simply wanted to do it. and we did. no different to a parent choosing to do anything else with their child - it's their choice, they do it. we chose to do it when she was young as our niece had been HARPING for earrings from the age of three til her dad said yes at 6. she fiddled, she pulled, she messed about with them - and she had infections for weeks. we decided to get DD's ears pierced when she was young enough that she wouldn't play with them - she was 12 weeks, didn't get a single infection, never showed signs of pain (and she was quite clear at letting us know when things hurt by that stage). she reacted less to her ears being pierced than she did to immunisations!:
like immunisation, circumcision or anything else, it's all about personal choice
ZF - don't ask your DP's cousin to cover for you or get it done. the last thing you want is to have dramas within your family. if you and DP can't agree, you either need to keep working on him, or do it and cop the blame yourself. personally i think if he doesnt agree , let it slide. too much conflict there already.
but why?
It was never on my radar until this thread either! Just curious. I'm not thinking along the lines of mutilation and I know it's sometimes cultural.
I LOVE those little bangles too, they rock my world. If I could have afforded that beautiful gold Beth would have been adorned from wrist to ankle.
It just seems so young to have them done before....I dunno - 5?
Lucy in my experience its best young or older. In between are more susceptible to infection because kids fiddle. DD never touched them EVER. Still doesn't.
I don't know how else to explain it other than I already have.
couldnt have explained it better myself.that just how it was with us.:
Fiddle factor? I get it.
I was happy to make DD wait till she was 11, I spose I don't think it's that important.
However 26 piercings from the age of 16 to 18 prove that they are rather important to HER :rofl:
We're going to wait until Jazz asks, and then go to get them done, just because I think it'll be exciting for her to get it done when she wants to.
I'm with you Leash! DD1 got hers done at 7, DD2 was 8 but hers got infected and she took them out but she had them done again at 10 and they have been great this time as she has been more responsible with them and looked after them better.
My dad didn't let me get mine done until I was 14! Mum got hers done at the same time LOL
DD1 wanted the top of her ear pierced when she was 14 so DH did it for her! She now doesn't have any earrings in most of the time although she has a belly ring.
I was 7 when I got mine done & had nothing but problems with them (but that is still the case & just my ears I think). Panda was about 6 I think when she got hers done. I'm not a huge fan of pierced ears on babies but that's JMO. I do agree with everyone else about not going behind your DH's back though - as one PP put it, you have to think about if the situation were reversed, how would you feel.
Had to laugh at that, if only it were that easy! :lol: I have a daughter who is so bad with any kind of pain - that is apart from that which she chooses to inflict on herself - she has pierced her own ears 6 times now, by herself and is continually nagging for more piercings - this is the same girl that it takes me weeks to get her in for a blood test because she "doesn't like needles"... :p:
Can totally relate, I go white at the thought of a blood test/injection but I'll happily sit in a piercers chair!:
I had DD done when she was 7 months old, never had any problems with them, however I did go to a pro not just the run of the mile hairdresser.. They numbed her ear with some cream and DD didnt even flinch nor did she cry.
Now that she is 3 1/2 years old she loves them..
I had mine done when I was 6 months old and Im so greatful my mother did them when I was little cos I cant stand needles and for me it worked out well..
If it was me I think you and your DP need to sit down and talk about it.. I wouldnt do it on the sneak.. But thats me.. Good luck I hope you find out what works for you..
LOL I am a sicko and will watch ALL needles, piercings and medical procedures on myself. I even watched the Dr cut out my Implanon when it was causing me trouble...and it was hard to get out becuase of a huge amount of scar tissue around it.:
But I watch all piercings I've had!
Oh I have no problem with "gore" or even watching piercings just blood test and injections on myself :dunno: Maybe from when I was little and a Dr tried to get blood from me 12 times when my mum left the room, still remember her walking back in and saying, "if you touch her again I'll stab you!":
Thank you again everyone... personally i don't think they are tacky, i think they can be quite cute and i'm not specifically doing it as the 'in thing' or to materialise her, i am more looking at it from the point she will never really remember the pain in 10yrs time etc etc.
Thank you all for your very valued opinions :) i wont be doing anything without DP's knowledge