My girls are a similar age apart as your two. There is only so much you can do and if it doesn't get done then you have to let it go. Next tim DH says you are no fun ask hm to take takeover for the weekend so you are rested up and feel like laughing again.
My DH works hard but I am lucky his office is in the backyard so I can call him in for a few hours even if he has to go back. I know this may not be possible for you but it could be that your kids are missing time with him /and or spotting you are tired and asoft target myabe if he was there for a play before dinner and settle them to bed they might be calmer and you could use the time to put your feet up. Could he go in earlier to finish earlier?
If you fall apart then everything falls in a heap so get DH to talk to family about helping, maybe they can babysit so you can go to the movies or something.
It does get easier but the first few months are tough.
