thread: Should i be worried?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    pakenham, victoria

    Should i be worried?

    Miss A is 12 weeks old tomorrow and actively avoids eye contact, when we're playing she'll do everything she can to not look at me and will usually look upwards at the roof or at a wall.
    The only time she really seems to look at me is when im at a distance, like if someone else is holding her or she's in her car seat/ bassinet and im standing over her.
    She likes to watch her little dangly thing on her pram, ive watched her pupils through light changes and they're responsive, so i know she's not blind, but i really dont know whatts going on, i dont like that she doesnt look at me, makes me a bit sad
    Also she doesnt smile alot, she will smile if you rub her dummy on her mouth but thats really about it, she doesnt smile at silly noises or anything. DD2 didnt smile at all untl 13 weeks

    Am i being paranoid or is it something i should get looked at

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Member

    Sep 2010
    North West Victoria, Australia

    Not sure about the looking thing, but DD was never much of a smiler.
    It was rare to get a smile out of her until at least 6 months.

    She never laughed or giggled til 10 months. She's just a serious little thing.

    Definately talk to your MCHN or Paed about it if you are concerned.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara

    Do you think it could be a hearing thing? Or it could still be an eye issue. At her age, she should be making eye contact with you. She more than likely isn't blind, but there are other eye issues that could be causing her to do this. I would be getting it checked out just to err on the side of caution because eye problems (if there is one) are better dealt with earlier rather than later For all you know she could be perfectly 100% fine and this is just something that she does, but best to rule anything else out as well.

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Feb 2006

    I agree with trillian, if you're worried have her checked out. Xxx

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2011

    She is still young so I wouldn't stress too much, speak to your MCHN or paediatrician. If you are worried could try playing games where you hold dangly toys, etc near your eyes and when she looks give tickles, social rewards, etc. Continue to make silly noises and pair sensory with social, that way she will begin to explore people as well as objects. You may have to be over the top as it sounds like she can do these things she is just going to make you work harder for them! If you want feel free to pm me and I will send through some activities you can do with her to encourage eye contact, social smiles, etc.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Add TylersMummy on Facebook

    May 2011
    Somewhere in the Country

    Hi Skye DD is 4 months as of tomorrow and we had the same issue with the looking at the roof and everything else but me,does she also have her head to one side?
    When I took her to the doctors last they checked her eyes but there was nothing wrong. If you are worried get her checked there is no harm.

  7. #7
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber. Love a friend xxx

    Sep 2008

    I agree that if you're worried, it's always worth getting professional feedback and reassurance.

    But FWIW, my DD was exactly the same. I work with children with autism (one of the markers of which is lack of eye contact), and by 12 weeks I was beside myself, convinced that she had ASD and killing myself with worry. Bit by bit her eye contact got better, and the day she finally gave me a big, clear social smile... I was at the MCHN and had just told her of my concerns, and then DD just looked at me and BEAMED!!! Little ratbag!

    Looking back, I put it down to temperament. She's very shy and self-conscious and still finds eye-contact very confronting. For ages she wouldn't dance or sing if you were looking and clammed up around anyone new. But in no way is she autistic. I think that for socially sensitive children, eye contact can be very intense and tiring. Just think about if you and I met and I stared you straight in the eye the whole time - it'd be really confronting!

    I'd suggest doing things that draw attention to you, without too much emphasis on the eye contact. So, singing with hand actions or playing with interesting objects between her face and yours. I'd tend to avoid doing the big facial expressions or strong reactions to eye contact when she gives it, so that, if she is sensitive, she doesn't find it too overwhelming. Just give her a warm, reassuring smile and a 'hello' and let her look away when she needs to. Babies are pretty good at regulating themselves and how much social connection they can handle, as long as we read their cues.

    ETA. Just realised that my suggestion contradicts Keta's. (sorry Hun, that was unintentional!). I think either can work, depending on the temperament of the child. I tend to err on the gentler side for really young children as I don't want to 'overstep' their boundaries and push too hard... but yes, some kids just do 'make you work for it' a bit more and respond well to big, bright reinforcement. I'd probably go there when she was a bit older if she wasn't coming to it on her own.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jan 2009
    pakenham, victoria

    Santosha intersting you say that, i have noticed that when im looking at her she looks to the side/ top of my head but when i look away from hr and then look back again i catch her looking at me, as soon as she realises im looking at her she looks away again though.
    Have her booked in for friday

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Dec 2005
    In Bankworld with Barbara

    I think just having someone say to you it's perfectly normal for her to do that will be a huge reassurance There is a girl in DD2's class and she's never been the type of kid that will look you in the eye, she always looks past you if that makes sense. Nothing at all wrong with her, but she just wont make eye contact. Not even for a school photo.