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well my mum knew not to smoke around murray and when ever she came over she had a shower before she left and limited her smoking to when she was leaving sounds harsh but murray was a colicy baby i didnt need him suffering inhaling yucky ciggrette smoke
We had the same problems with close friends and SIL. THe way we dealt with it was jsut to let everyone know at the same time that we were really worried about smoke around DS and we asked everyone that was goign to be around if they would mind washign their hands and changing their shirts before they cuddled him. We got one of DF's big baggy shirts and kept it clean for if someone didn't bring one.
THis worked really really well and no one was offended or put off even though SIL is argumentative. At the end of the day these are your gorgeous little bubba's lungs we're talking about so its super important that you stick to your guns.
PS DF is a smoker and he had to play by the rules just like everyone else!
Looks like you've got some geat ideas already but I thought I'd let you know our story.
DD was born a bit early and stayed about 9 days in NSCN. On discharge her neeonatolagist made us promise a few things, among them were anybody holding her must wash hands first. We delt with this by always having the waterless wash gel on hand, in her nursery, the nappy bag and loungeroom. Another was no smokers to hold her without washing, cleaning breath and changing shirt. Their little lungs are already dealing with a lot coming into the world with things like car fumes, dust etc. so why throw something avoidable into the mix. Some people thought that we were being "Cute over the top first parents and you won't worry about that come your second baby", others totally understood. The doctor also said about it being linked to sids.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you can take your approach and reasoning from a medical point as advised by the doctor then it may be easier (not a personal attack on your mum). Hope that you are able to get around this without any fuss. Dr also said, it is your baby and you should not be made to feel silly for asking for these requests. Goodluck :)
I'm sure you will find the right words to say :hug:
We have a similar issue in our family. Except ours involves the person going outside to smoke, then coming inside and spraying themselves in a heap of perfume to cover up the smoke smell..Not nice either way.
My parents are both smokers, and I've been exceedingly anti-smoking since I was a little kid - so they know that once Smudge is born, that's it (well, maybe my dad doesn't get it, but he's trying to quit.) There will be no smoking whatsoever around him/her, I don't care if I cause them offense or not.
They don't know yet, but my plan is to just get up and leave if they smoke near my baby. I'm not sure how strictly I'll stick to that, but if I can get it through to them that they'll be deprived of seeing their grandchild anytime they do it, then maybe they'll finally be able to quit. They've never had this kind of incentive before!
My husband and my mother are both smokers, they both have smoking jackets to wear over their clothes in winter, and long sleeve shirts to wear over their clothes in summer - this helps to reduce the smoke permeating through to their clothes (the jackets and shirts are kept in the shed where they go to smoke). They both wash their hands and use antibacterial hand sanitiser (which I keep right by the back door) after smoking, and do not kiss Lachie straight after smoking. Personally I am happy with these methods, but each to their own I guess - your baby, your choice... but at the same time you don't want to alienate you and your baby, and neither do you want to make ur loved ones uncomfortable. I would be honest with your Mum, explain that you don't expect her to quit, but that for the health of her grandchild (who cannot make decisions for themself yet) that you would appreciate her taking some measures to significantly reduce the exposure to the toxins that are present in cigarette smoke. She is ur Mum, and I'm sure that she would understand - the same way that she would have sought to protect you from things when you were younger :)
Hmm we are pretty hard-line about this. NO ONE in my family smokes, and in DH's family it is just his mother. He has a strained relationship with her at the best of times, and she suffers from a range of personality disorders that mean she is pretty difficult to deal with.
Basically we decided that no smokers will be holding our baby, unless they have not smoked for an hour or so prior to coming over (long enough that there is no smoky breath), come in clean clothes, and do not smoke at all until they leave. That includes friends who smoke (thankfully only a couple). We have made it clear, and just stated this really 'matter of fact'.
To be honest, anyone who has a problem with that can just not be part of baby's life. The SIDS risks are too high (my helpful dad, a family psych and research statistician, went over all the SIDS risks from second hand smoke with us.) That includes MIL - DH is comfortable with that.