Tantrums and discipline

Forshelby, from your first post you sounded like you were going through what my sister did with her first son. And then when you mentioned in response to others suggestions to look at his diet, that he;s been eating more ;junk', I though I'd put in my 2 cents worth based on my sister's experience. Her boy, now 15, reacts very badly with uncontrollable tantrums to food colourings. it took my sister about 10 years to figure it out, but now, it's a very clear link. That's not his only issue, to be fair, but it was a really big thing for him. SO I suggest you make junk food not available in your house, so that takes away the temptation for you, and offer him only foods that are good for him. I takes my nephew a couple of days to get it out of his system, but all kids are different. And for your DS, it might be sugar, or gluten, or... I don't know. Monitor what he eats and see what happens. Best of luck.

I told my sister a million times that she was a great mum, and that she wouldn't care that much unless she was a great, loving mum, but even a million times isn't enough to really believe it for yourself.

Forshelby, from your first post you sounded like you were going through what my sister did with her first son. And then when you mentioned in response to others suggestions to look at his diet, that he;s been eating more ;junk', I though I'd put in my 2 cents worth based on my sister's experience. Her boy, now 15, reacts very badly with uncontrollable tantrums to food colourings. it took my sister about 10 years to figure it out, but now, it's a very clear link. That's not his only issue, to be fair, but it was a really big thing for him. SO I suggest you make junk food not available in your house, so that takes away the temptation for you, and offer him only foods that are good for him. I takes my nephew a couple of days to get it out of his system, but all kids are different. And for your DS, it might be sugar, or gluten, or... I don't know. Monitor what he eats and see what happens. Best of luck.

I told my sister a million times that she was a great mum, and that she wouldn't care that much unless she was a great, loving mum, but even a million times isn't enough to really believe it for yourself.

today is day 3 of offering only good foods. Today is the first day he's eaten anything ive offered except plain crackers. its hard because hunger makes him uncontrollable also. so far he's had rice bubbles, fruit puree and he played with some grapes. dinner will be baked potato... in the shape of chips ;)

I've been strict. if he won't eat whats offered he gets nothing till the next meal except drinks or a piece of fruit if he'll accept that. so far he's just gone hungry.

we'll see what day 4 brings. There have been 2 major tantrums today. its a good day.

today is day 3 of offering only good foods. Today is the first day he's eaten anything ive offered except plain crackers. its hard because hunger makes him uncontrollable also. so far he's had rice bubbles, fruit puree and he played with some grapes. dinner will be baked potato... in the shape of chips ;)

I've been strict. if he won't eat whats offered he gets nothing till the next meal except drinks or a piece of fruit if he'll accept that. so far he's just gone hungry.

we'll see what day 4 brings. There have been 2 major tantrums today. its a good day.

That sounds positive :)

I know its hard when they are hungry. Its instinct to feed them but his cravings should lessen from tomorrow :)
:hug:

two more massive tanties this afternoon and tonight. The last one reduced me to tears. :( this sucks so much!

Being preggy and having this is extra hard :hug:
hang in there! your doing super!

Posting to subscribe. I could have written your OP.

My daughter has speech delays that have come from a oral motor skills delay she couldn't chew or bite anything and would choke/gag constantly.
She has been referred to speech therapy.
Recently I made my own break through teaching her the word nooooooo or shake head and nodding head (not yes yet) but omg we can communicate!!
I let her "help" me do lots of things, unfolding my folding is annoying but she feels like she is helping putting things in and out of baskets, standing on a stool washing up plastic stuff or watching passing me pegs or taking them out and lining them up.
Give him more "responsibility"?

Fix the food thing, I think it's worth the effort, if the stuff is not in the house them you can show him "none left" and give him a banana. Find healthy things he wants to help you make or buy. My daughter loves rice snacks and cakes its her "bickie"

Good luck, my daughter is two next month and currently only has extreme meltdowns when hungry or over tired.

Oh and watch a bit of super nanny I think she is awesome.

How is it going forshelby? Fwiw my kids always meltdown after grapes (referring to your last post).

Well..... we had a bit of a breakthrough I think. I was talking to my sister about it, and she had a brilliant thought. "He eats like a pregnant woman. ..could his tummy be sore? He refuses almost everything! " Bingo. She asked if I thought it could still be silent reflux. I felt awful thinking how long he's been off his meds for. He did well for a while there, but as he's gotten bigger, and moved from mostly purees to some naughtier treats (like nuggets) it's been a slow downward spiral. So slow I didn't even make the connection between food and behavior initially. he's always been a challenging baby..... and has always cried a lot. I think I was just thinking tgat was how he was. :(

So a trip to the GP got me a speech therapy referral. ... however that will take months to get an appt for. She was unconcerned as he jibbered and laughed the whole appt. She thought he was fine. I also got a new prescription for zantac for reflux to trial him on.

Day 2 on meds and it was pretty clear it was helping. Today is day 6 and he accepted banana for lunch, and ate a whole piece of peanut butter toast for dinner. He's never eaten a whole piece of toast before. :o He still loves his crackers and bickies but I limit tge number and make sure tgeyre rice based, or for sweet biscuits wholegrain (belvitas are a winner at brekky!)

I feel SO bad that he's been unmedicated for so long and seeing the change in him so quickly. He's still a turd at times lol.... but he will communicate with me now instead of screaming. What I thought were tantrums was obviously sometimes pain. :( Guilty mama. He now says yes or no to foods offered.... and even ta. He said bye to me today then went and hid lol.

it makes me sad to think he wasn't talking to me because he was probably miserable and hurting all the time. But im trying not to dwell on what I've done badly, and just focus on whats ahead. Tough gig, this parenting thing. I thought I had it pretty sussed out...... but I think my big boy will always have something new to challenge me with and teach me.

Stay tuned.........

Well..... we had a bit of a breakthrough I think. I was talking to my sister about it, and she had a brilliant thought. "He eats like a pregnant woman. ..could his tummy be sore? He refuses almost everything! " Bingo. She asked if I thought it could still be silent reflux. I felt awful thinking how long he's been off his meds for. He did well for a while there, but as he's gotten bigger, and moved from mostly purees to some naughtier treats (like nuggets) it's been a slow downward spiral. So slow I didn't even make the connection between food and behavior initially. he's always been a challenging baby..... and has always cried a lot. I think I was just thinking tgat was how he was. :(

So a trip to the GP got me a speech therapy referral. ... however that will take months to get an appt for. She was unconcerned as he jibbered and laughed the whole appt. She thought he was fine. I also got a new prescription for zantac for reflux to trial him on.

Day 2 on meds and it was pretty clear it was helping. Today is day 6 and he accepted banana for lunch, and ate a whole piece of peanut butter toast for dinner. He's never eaten a whole piece of toast before. :o He still loves his crackers and bickies but I limit tge number and make sure tgeyre rice based, or for sweet biscuits wholegrain (belvitas are a winner at brekky!)

I feel SO bad that he's been unmedicated for so long and seeing the change in him so quickly. He's still a turd at times lol.... but he will communicate with me now instead of screaming. What I thought were tantrums was obviously sometimes pain. :( Guilty mama. He now says yes or no to foods offered.... and even ta. He said bye to me today then went and hid lol.

it makes me sad to think he wasn't talking to me because he was probably miserable and hurting all the time. But im trying not to dwell on what I've done badly, and just focus on whats ahead. Tough gig, this parenting thing. I thought I had it pretty sussed out...... but I think my big boy will always have something new to challenge me with and teach me.

Stay tuned.........

:hug: honey. You werent to know. Now you do, you can help him. Glad you found a reason for at least some of his behaviour.

Glad you found something that could help. Just a practical tip that works for us is naming emotions before they get out of control, so if I see that DS is starting to struggle then I'll say 'oh that looks frustrating, are you feeling frustrated?' and I"ll ask him to say frustrated back to me, so he has a name for how he feels. Sometimes I'll ask him to yell it or we'll both yell it to each other.

I think its great that you have figured it out! you didn't just label him a naughty kid- your gut said something is wrong and you investigated. I think that makes you an awesome mummy :hug:

Wow that's great news! It is such a guessing game and you've done so well to find a solution.

Fingers crossed his talking starts moving along more quickly now and he can verbalized his frustrations more.