Thanks everyone for your replies! I'm on my phone so can't do persies but it's nice to know I'm not alone!
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Thanks everyone for your replies! I'm on my phone so can't do persies but it's nice to know I'm not alone!
so ive typed and deleted so many times because i just feel so bad for feeling the way i do :cry: but here goes...
my DD2 only wants ME and i'm really not coping with it....DD1 was a 'dream baby', went to anyone, didn't need me in her face and was a happy baby. DD2, has, pretty much from birth, screamed at anyone who is not me (this includes my DH). granted she did have severe reflux, and i was her comfort tool, but she was treated for the reflux and we seemed to turn a corner when she hit 5 months and would (finally) go to her Daddy....fast forward to now and we've gone back to the screaming episodes. i cant even go to the toilet now without her losing the plot....and not just a whinging cry, but full blown, screaming, snotty, sweaty face inconsolable and lots and lots of tears until i pick her up. the only time i get away from her (nice aren't i?) is when she is asleep....she will sleep in her cot and has done from 5 months so not really too sure what that's about, but during her waking hours, its me me me she wants....she pretty much lives in her Ergo with me, but i. am. struggling. i really cannot stand it and am starting to resent her (which i know is a horrible horrible thing to say)...i feel like i spend next to no time with DD1 as DD2 is so demanding and i miss that 1:1 with DD1.....i really sound like a horrible person but i just needed to off load to ppl who understand.....so thanks for letting me vent...hmmm...maybe i should've posted this in the boo hoo thread :hide:
Negrita - I hear you! I used to spend a lot of his awake time hanging out for nap times, and then feeling guilty for wanting him to go to sleep! Do you take DD into the toilet with you? DS comes with me but still cracks it and cries about 85% of the time. As for nap times, I now 'schedule' 20 mins or so 'me' time as soon as DS goes down for a nap. Some days I just sit with a cuppa, some days I read or do my nails - as long as it's something that I choose. It makes me feel like I'm in control iykwim. Please don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. I think your feelings are legitimate. And you are not alone in having them.
My other tip as I said in a pp, is to try to just go with what your LO wants. The more I try to do other stuff or wish I had a little more freedom, the worse I feel. The more I include DS in my everyday routine, the happier we both are - he seems to almost forget for a while that he's not actually attached to me if he has something to occupy him! And, things have improved SOOOOO much in the last few months, so hang in there. I try to work out the things we can do together (even if it takes three or four times longer than it usually would) and do those when DS is awake. The other stuff I do when he's asleep. He sits on the kitchen bench while I prepare dinner. He hands me the cutlery/pegs when I empty the dishwasher/hang the clothes (or just plays with the pegs). I also find if I say something like "You can help Mummy fold the clothes or you can play with your blocks next to me" then get out his blocks, put them right next to me and help him 'start' playing that he'll play for a few minutes (with me constantly talking to him). I know your DD is younger than my DS, so is probably a little young to 'get' some of the above, but if you start now, she might respond in time....maybe ;)
New Velcro baby here!! Ds is only two weeks but I can already see the same old pattern forming!! Great great great night sleeper in fact I get a good 7 hour stretch out of him. But means he cluster feeds and cat naps pretty much all day long!! I have never gotten the hang of baby wearing so it makes it very frustrating when needing to do daily tasks and tend to my other 3 boys!!
Thanks hun :hug: - on a good day i can get to the loo on my own, but usually DD2 is with me, in the Ergo. I do include her in my everyday activities (cooking, washing etc), i mean she practically lives in the Ergo on me, i just don't like it :redface: but it keeps her from screaming like a banshee, so i do what i have to do! I just feel like i neglect my DD1 because DD2 is so demanding. my Dh works afternoon shift (3-11pm) so im on my own for the feral hours and thats when i find it the hardest....i know she won't always be like this (at least thats what im telling myself!!) and mostly i do just try to go with whatever she wants, but i just feel so blah sometimes :(:
Big :hug: hun, its hardwork isn't it?! i've only got 2 DD's and im struggling, so i don't know how you do it with a newborn plus your additional 3!!! - what kind of carrier have you got?:
Only just seen this thread. I to have a velcro baby. DD4 is terrible. My arm muscles are huge now from carrying her everywhere lol. She likes to sleep on me (won't do it anywhere else), has to constantly be with me and if not being carried then being fed. Even if I can get Miss P to sleep, the moment I put her down she wakes up because I'm not holding her any longer. Even at night she follows me around the bed. If she can't touch me then she wakes up. I'm hoping this phase doesn't last long. I still have 2 others 4 and under to look after as well as my older kids :rollseyes:
Oh, Kim! I know that bit about following you around the bed! My Miss P is exactly the same... and if she isn't touching me she wakes up and cries until she is!
I am finding days slightly easier. Now that Miss P is mobile (crawling) she is a bit happier to play on the floor at my feet for a few minutes... as long as she is no further than 2 metres from me! She'll even sit on the floor of the toilet at home instead of on my lap!
We call DS a barnacle, with me during the day, if DF is home tho i don't even get a look in. It used to be the opposite but now DF does the bedtime routine. As I type he's sitting on my feet cos I won't pick him up.
Can't wait for after our wedding when I have enough money to buy a proper carrier.
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Just found this thread. My DD was a Velcro baby from a very early age. She would cry if anyone else held her so I was doing everything on my own for her which was tough at times. As she's gotten older she's OK with other people but still wants me around a lot. So she still is quite clingy with me but it has gotten easier.
My DD is just starting to show signs of Velcro-ness. She's 3 & 1/2 weeks now, and just over the last 4 or 5 days she'll only nap during the daytime if being held by me or DH. For now it's ok because DH is still on leave, so between the two of us we get to shower, eat, go to the loo and sleep (although sometimes it's only in shifts!). She'll usually lie in her bassinet after a feed and look around for 45 mins or so, but when it's time for sleep she starts to crack it.
I do so hope it's just an early phase...
Oh how I LOVE this thread!! Wow - I finally feel normal ;) my boy is exactly like some of you have described - a typical velcro baby, and has always been!
It is just so draining isn't it?! Some days I just want to run away lol. Not being able to do ANYTHING for more than 5 minutes at a time is really difficult. It was the worst the first 4 or so months where he had colic and wouldn't let me put him down from holding him AT ALL. he has never ever been self sufficient with putting himself to sleep, and this hasnt changed at all. He still needs to be fed to sleep, and if that doesn't work then a mixture of rocking, singing, bouncing, crazy noises - you name it! He sleeps in a baby hammock as he needs motion all the time, but even still there is ALWAYS crying and fussing around sleep time, which i find so difficult.
Never being able to have any time for myself is hard too - but I always make sure I respond to his needs 100% of the time and over my own. I struggle with how to keep him happy and entertained as lately he has been trying to wriggle out of my arms like he's frustrated but if I go to put him down then hell breaks loose lol it's so hard to keep up with the demands sometimes! It has gotten a little easier but not really any less demanding, emotionally and physically. I am a stay at home Mum and He breastfeeds 2 hourly around the clock and has done so from birth. I REALLY dont want another baby until he is at least 5 years old and in school LOL how would you cope?!
The love I have for him is out of this world though, and although he is a Full on baby that never wants a minute of relaxation and cat naps only during the day - the love I feel and how sweet I think it is that he wants me so much just makes it all worth it.
And I always remember.... This too shall pass! They won't be like this forever ;)
Look forward to sharing my journey with other Mummies that know exactly how *I* feel for a change!! Yay I am not alone :)
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else
Lol... seems there are a lot of velcro babies out there! Danni, I know what you mean about bub being restless in you arms but then screeching if you put them down. What are you supposed to do?? Maybe our velcro babies want us to get down and crawl around on the floor right next to them? Miss P and I do have plenty of floor time together but she won't explore much further than a couple of metres from me. If I leave the room she screeches and follows!
It really is great to know there are others going through the same thing!
I bought myself an ergo the other day and it is the best thing I could of done it is super comfy and I can get things done while we are both happy!
DS2 is also happy to play in his walker for 15 mins or so a couple of times a day and also DS1 and DS2 are starting to interact a lot more which keeps him occupied for a little while too, it is really cute to watch!
Oh, Jaycee I'm loving school holidays! DD1 (8) is like Mini Mum and DD2 will sit with her for 20 minutes or so, which gives me a break. DS is pretty good too, although I only get about 10 minutes out of him!
Having said that, DD2 is currently making her way from the family room to the bedroom (where I am), screeching all the way!! Better go and attach my little appendage...
Also Mummies.. I really need some advice in finding a comfortable front facing carrier!!! (if there is such a thing for a 10kg baby lol). Bub loved being in my peanut shell sling for a long time there but now he loves to face forward and watch the world with the comfort of being on Mummy ;) i have a bjorn but it is incredibly uncomfortable on my shoulders and back with front facing as well as a hug a bub which I cannot do up without DH around! Hmmm. Hoping someone has any good ones as we go for a walk while he's in his trike (he LOVES his trike) but not for as long as what it would be on me so I'm hoping there's an option out there still! Miss using my ergo too but he's older now so he gets a little restless and restricted by facing against me when he wants to look around.
And Nickle at least your little one is crawling! My boy doesn't want to be down on the floor long enough to learn lol he shuffles around and gets places that way but like you said Mum HAS to be around! But we can't be on the floor all day can we?!
And what do you do to occupy these little ones?! He gets sick of everything sooo quickly! And yes my boy is only happy in his exersaucer/ Walker (which we just bought for him) for like 10 mins tops! Grrrrrrrrr he's screaming at me right now lol better go!
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else
Nickel - The fact you even made it from the family room to the bedroom by yourself is huuuge! :roll eyes:
Jaycee - Glad the ergo is working for you.
Danni - I think you win, lol! You must be totally exhausted. It sounds like you don't ever get any time to yourself either. The fact you're even considering another is amazing! Having said that, I was thinking the same as you until DS got to about 12 months old. When his other skills (understanding, communicating) started getting better, I found things improved and a 4 year wait between children now seems waaay too much!
We still have issues with the same things every day though - me washing my hands, getting rid of dirty nappies and going to the loo. 9 times out of 10 he cracks it and now he's starting to do real tanties (head on the ground, bum in the air, screaming!) it's even more fun! :roll eyes: It's always worse if he's tired, hungry or just woken up (which usually means he's hungry, lol). We had a play date at the park yesterday and he spent the first hour pulling me around by the arm. He eventually warmed up and spent the next 15 minutes about 2m away from me (which was just bliss!), then got clingy again. It can be a bonus - the other mums are chasing their toddlers around trying to get them to come back and wondering why we're at a park that's not fenced but I don't have to worry about that at all!
But then we have mornings like today where he sat happily in his pram for an hour while I was shopping. Can't figure 'em out.....
big :hug: doll, you sound exhausted! - Have you tried putting your DS on your back in the Ergo? Like you, my DD2 wasn't really liking being squished into my chest anymore and at 7.5 months and 9.3kgs, i wasn't liking it either!! so i started putting her on my back in the ergo so she can look around and see things, while still being my little barnacle :rofl: and we are now both much happier!:
ETA: does he like a Jolly Jumper? - i find DD2 will last about 15-20mins having a jump in her JJ which gives me a bit of breathing space :rolleyes:
Danni - Just saw your post. Can't help you with the carrier cos DS only ever wanted arms!