When did you first leave bub with someone else, why, and for how long?

First time DD stayed with someone else was my mum when she was about 4 months old? It was just before we got married and we met with the celebrant. We were only gone for 30-45 minutes, and she cried the whole time!

When she was 6.5 months old I returned to work. DD stayed with my MIL. I would ask MIL to not feed her certain foods, I would even pack food for her to eat, and MIL would ignore me. I didn't find out for awhile, then one day FIL had a little bit too much to drink and DD was shying away from him and he casually said "Well you came to poppy today when you were eating "xyz" :o I hated leaving DD with my IL's when they were being so disrespectful, but I really had no choice as I had to return to work due to DH's employer not paying regularly and not being able to get DD into daycare at the time.

My FIL even recorded DD throwing "a tantrum" were the words my MIL used, when she went out for 10 minutes one day. The tantrum, was my daughter in tears because MIL had left and she wasn't use to FIL being around.

If you aren't sure or aren't confident of them giving the same care you would or following your instructions, then don't do it Leasha. Tell Shell you'll be far from enjoying yourself and some time together, when you are thinking about Jazz and what they are or are not doing..

Nic

Boy now I'm gonna look like a bad mum....

I'm happy to leave both my kids with family & close friends anytime LOL I have done so since day one.

DD had her first sleep over when she was about 2 weeks old at BIL's house while we removed mould from the house we were renting so didnt want her breathing it in. She has slept there numerous times, aswell as at my sisters house & her best friends house (only twice there though)

DS slept at PIL place when he was about 5 or 6 weeks old as MIL offered to give me a "night off". It was harder leaving DS than it was leaving DD for some reason? They live upstairs so it wasn't that hard for me knowing he'd be so close.

I will ONLY leave my children with people I trust 100%. I have friends who I wont let babysit because I dont think they'll watch them as well as needed. I guess I'm just lucky to have alot of people around me that are so trustworthy & able to care for children properly. 99% of the time if my children aren't with me they are with the IL's, whether it be PIL or BIL & his family.

DD isn't clingy. She does "favour" me over everyone else but shes happy to go to other people.

I think its completely personal choice & if you dont trust someone then follow your instincts & DONT leave Jazz with them, dont let people pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with hun.

I left DS with my Mum at about 6mths for a few hours, he was used to her and really comfortable with her by that point. I plan to leave him with her overnight for the first time in March (so at 2 1/2) when DH & I go away for the night for our anniversary.

Leash, I still haven't left Oskar with anyone other than Andy and I think that was for less than your 2 hours with Shel..lol. In a month I have to leave Oskar with someone so we can do a refresher hypnobirthing course... then there's the birth of this one and I'm nervous already as I don't want to leave him anywhere but with me...lol.

I don't quite remember how old DS1 was when I first left him with anyone other then DP or myself. He would have had to been over 2. It was only for a couple of hours anyways while DP and I went to dinner for a special occasion. We left him with my twin sister, who I trust with my life, but I still worried the whole time. The only time DS1 has been away from me overnight in the whole 5yrs of his life was when I was having DS2 aswell.
I just wasn't ready or anything with him and I can't see this time with DS2 being any different.

Don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with regardless of what people say. You're a great mother. :hug:

I have no family in Oz and I have only just moved to Brisbane.

I left Xavier with a friend for a couple of hours while I went for some waxing done with his big sister. I am breastfeeding and he wont take a bottle so couldnt be away for long.

I have only known my friend since Xavier was 4wks old and he would have been 8wks old when I left him.

People may judge me for this but its the only way I get to do something without the kids and I do trust my friend she has a little girl who is 1 and her sister is also a nurse and lives with them.

It was another story with my daughter I didnt leave her until she was 1yrs old and that was with friends of a couple of years so that me and DH could have a meal out.

If I could leave them overnight with Grandma I would but as he wont take a bottle not a chance but if I was in the UK where Grandma is and he would take a bottle I would have already left him for an evening at least!

Everyone is different and you only do what you feel happy with if you dont then do not give in to the pressure. You would not enjoy the time anyway worrying about bub

Jo

I agree with what people are saying here and that being that only let your bub stay with someone else if you are comfortable with who you are leaving with. I don't think I'd be happy leaving bub with my MIL because she is just a bit wacko. But I think I would have no problems trusting my mother and a few close friends.

I love my nephew to bits and I don't see him that much - my brother and SIL came down at christmas and nephew is now 8 months old - my partner and I offered to look after him if they want to go do something and a couple of times we did for a few hours etc - but I wouldn't have been offended if she didn't want me to. So long as she knew that I was happy to help if she wanted it and it was fine.

They then went to NZ for two weeks and they came back on Sunday and they have left bub with her mother and she is coming back to AUS with him in 10 days or so. So at the moment they are bub-free! They both seemed good about it which is great. I don't know if I would be able to leave a bub of mine (when I eventually have one!) for that long - but again, it is a personal decision.

I wasnt going to reply to this thread till i read the bit you wrote about your ILs telling you that you are smothering her and you will have a clingy baby if you dont let go abit....RUBBISH!!! what utter crap....sorry, thats just my opinion but you cant over-love her!! infact i belive its the opposite, i have seen examples of that being the case with a friend of mines kids (her first-she did basically what your ILs are saying as its what her ILs said to do and the child is clingy, insecure and moody. the second-did what she felt was right and the child is so confident, bubbly, outgoing etc. she belives its due to the differences in the way she parented them!!)....sorry- have to calm down...lol.:redface: Dont listen to them, you are a great mum and it doesnt matter what anyone else says, dont leave her with ANYONE unless you trust them 100% to do things how you ask! and dont feel bad about saying no.
i went out for a few hours while dd was asleep and DHs mum was up from sydney. but at the mo i wouldt leave her with anyone else.;)

Yep, I have to agree with the other posters who've said that what you're doing WON'T make Jazz clingy.

I very rarely left DD with anyone before she was 12 months old and still wouldn't
dream of letting her sleep somewhere else overnight because I am just not comfortable with that. Might be different if mum lived here but she's the only person I would trust.

And I don't regard DD as a clingy baby - everyone tells me how lucky I am to have such a happy baby. I don't say anything but I WANT to say, "there's no luck about it mate, it's all my own work."

Leash, if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it! Trust your instincts. You have to be fully comfy about the idea and don't feel bad about taking forever to get to that point!

Only a few weeks ago, we left DS for the first time (he was around 7.5 months) with my mum and dad. It was our "trial" for the first time. We were gone for about 1.5 hours and grabbed some dinner. I gave him his usual evening BF before we left and nanna gave him his comp feed a bit later on. When we got back she said he cried before going to sleep :( I felt so sad but I knew that he always does this for us so he would have done it for nanna too.

We've left him again a couple weeks ago with mum and dad again while we went out for a longer proper dinner for a friends birthday and went further away from home too! That was a little easier than the first time. DS cried again but when we picked him up, he was fast asleep with a smile on his face.

I trust my parents to look after him as I would look after him. Haven't tried the in-laws yet, but we'll get there eventually I suppose.

But, yeah, it all boils down whether you feel ready or not. And if you're not ready, you're not ready. Don't let anyone else pressure you.

i was feeding my bub every two hours at five months old, and i could not leave her with anyone, i felt such a strong need to be near her constantly, i actually think it's the hormones in my body that made me feel this way, and the biology/physiology of milk production/feeling close to your bub.

biologically, babies need to be near their mums to survive, so i think this is fine.

Plus the "babysitter" is someone you clearly have good reason NOT to trust with five cents, let alone your precious bub.

Guard her with your life. You brought her into this world, if you don't put your foot down (to those silly inlaws who are bullying you), the only person that will suffer is your dear little Jazz.

trust your gut instinct
you are feeding her, i hve no idea how often, but that is a very close bond
listen to that bond, no matter what anyone else says
in years to come, you won't be breastfeeding, it won't be an issue, but it is now.

Do YOU want time away from her?
it sounds like everyone else is pushing this on you, not you wanting it yourself.

i left my baby for first time with strangers (childcare workers) at 16 months old.

we were still breastfeeding.

i stayed in the Child care centre for as long as it took for me to feed her and settle her into the environment, ensure the staff knew her needs and how to do up the nappies.

i hated leaving her there, we have no-one to leave her with, so i felt i had no choice.

Listen to your own gut instinct and do not be bullied by people who do not know your child like you do, they don't love her the way you do. You are her advocate in this crazy world of silly SIL who would give a 5 month old chocolate (expressly against your wishes).

(my two year old has never tasted chocolate and she is fine!).
we are still breastfeeding at two as well, times like this, i'm glad for lack of relatives if that's what they come out with!!!).

oh wow Leash no she is too little in my opinion.

I have left Ashton with my mum for the WHOLE of 10 minutes while I ducked to the shop and he was asleep. Would I leave him longer? NO WAY!

I also left him in Child Care for a few hours this week while I did my tafe course, having said that the child care is in the building where I was doing my course (through Centrecare) and my other 2 boys go there reguarly. So if he needed a feed or even whimpered they called me immediately and I was 2 minutes away.

Would I leave my baby for an extended period, with someone else who I have issues with, not within a minute or 2 away... NOPE.

Both my boys were pretty young when I first left them, but it wasn't for long, say 30min to an hour. Si's first time I think he might have been 2-3 weeks old, and mum was over, I fed bub and then dh and I nicked out for coffee.

Some lessons from that - you have to want to do it, and bub should be left with someone you trust!
If you don't want to do it, and you don't trust the person - it's a no-brainer Leash. :hug:

I left DD with my MIL who was here from Scotland staying with us when Paisley was born. She was about 6 weeks old and I only left for an hour or so. I was breast feeding but was also comp feeding so she took bottles OK. I expressed some milk and left that for her. I was very distracted the whole time but DH really wanted me to allow his Mum to have her. I am blessed to have a fantastic MIL and I know she is very competent so DD was in excellent hands, still I fretted. It's only natural I think.