Vaccinations of friends & family and Newborn cuddles

:

---

That was wrong of him to do IMO.



Also wrong no one should have that happen. But my remark was not silly you had something put in to your body that you didn't want and weren't aware of, there is no difference between that and tricking your DP into the vax. However if the "trick" is getting him to the GP in the hope he will get it then that is a little different. I assumed he would be led to believe he was getting something different, but really getting the Pertussis vac. I guess that's why you don't make assumptions.



No you didn't, and that is wrong too! I'm getting the idea that it's not a relationship made in heaven, it sounds like there are huge trust and respect, issues and I would be wondering why you're even still together, good luck with it I hope it can be sorted out for the sake of your baby and you. But I think this is a whole other issue and this thread might be being hijacked, so I'm signing out of the thread now.

---

I don't like hijacking threads.

However there are issues, I call him DP online, but he's really my baby's father, whom I'm trying to have some sort of amicable "relationship" with. We don't live together, because I fell pregnant 4 months after meeting him, after being told that I was infertile and then being vomiting upon using hormonal contraceptives and numerous visits to the Family Planning clinic (together), and then in the process of again trying to break it off, that was when I fell pregnant.

Also my brother and SIL have gone through years of TTC, and I couldn't tell my family that I was pregnant but then terminate because it would break everyone's heart.

We visit each other at the moment, and in my mind I treat it as an access visit, and also because he is still sort of my "boyfriend" I have got to know his lovely family - he has a massive family on both sides of his family.

But when it gets down to any practical issues, we can't work them out, daily living issues, any time I endeavour to have a discussion, he feels he has to "win" an argument, rather than discuss things. In fact he is oddly being verbally and financially abusive towards me, when it doesn't match his personal values, because he is quite into human rights and was once a union representative.

He has been through a lot in the past few years, and I like to think of him as being "ill" or having some kind of breakdown at this time, as I am pregnant, I couldn't handle breaking it off with him again at this point in the pregnancy. I do have some support from my family but not enough to go through the situation as it would play out.

We all make assumptions on internet forums. People don't have time and neither should they have to explain their decisions to one and all. For example I commented on another forum about someone who'd moved into a dodgy rental, as to why they signed the lease but I then also commented that it was not to have a shot at them in the same post.

Personally I would only feel comfortable with asking about b, definately not a.

Vaccination is an extremely personal and private matter. And I dont think it fair to ask someone to put aside their beliefs and point of view to settle your own worries. I would on the other hand, stress that I would not want anyone to coming in contact into either bub or mum and dad, or anyone other primary carer for the bub, if they are sick, have been sick recently, or being in contact with sick people.

We asked my parents and DH's parents before DS was born.

My parents are very pro vax and agreed. My FIL did, however MIL didn't. DH was very concerned about her being around DS as she has a low immunity and picks up everything. As it worked out, DS stayed very close to me in a carrier, or with DH, and MIL had very minimal contact with him. She helped to look after DD a lot..

So, while you can't force anyone to have it, you never know what they will agree to.

We will be asking our close family to have it. I don't see it as emotional blackmail at all. I just think it's a matter of saying that we feel more comfortable if people having close contact with the baby be vaccinated. If people choose not to be vaccinated then we won't be judging or angry at them - we will respect their wishes. But the flipside of that is that they will/should respect our wishes that they not have cuddles with bub until it is older and can be vaccinated itself.

I know that there is a lot of info out there saying that the pertussis vaccine is less effective, but I think it's a stretch to say it's completely ineffective. I am going to do anything to protect my child and even if it was only 50% effective I prefer that to nothing. as someone said earlier, if there was an 85% chance of winning the lottery we'd all be buying tickets.

And emc2 hun your situation sounds very tough I hope things get a bit easier for you.

Regarding a) I was only going to ask ppl who are pro-vax to get vax or booster. Such as my parents, and grandparents.

Regarding b) good to know I have the right to tell people to keep away when sick and refuse cuddles