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:rofl::
Love it!
Although it is arguable that they serve decent enough food. But I suppose that's just it. The food might get the job done to nourish and strengthen, but it is just plain awful. Same goes for lots of hospital birth experiences. You do end up with a baby in your arms, but the experience was just not nice.
Actually, love the whole post. Very well said.
Sasa
For me, same reasons as Bec, really!
I had a very positive experience at the FBC (same one as Lulu's), and it was so good, marred only by the fact I had to get into a freaking car during transition. I laboured at home entirely because this is where I felt comfortable and knew my topography and resources around me. I laboured at home because I didn't want to be put on 'the clock' if I presented too soon - I don't think hospitals will ever guarantee they won't start the clock.
So, after having a great FBC birth I knew that HB was the only improvement I could make to the birthing experience, even if I end up being transferred - the knowledge that I don't have to get in the car at the end of my labour (unless medically necessary, which is at the back of my mind as much as 'the ward' was for the FBC experience...and I didn't dwell on that at all) will be the single biggest improvement in this upcoming birth experience.
The other thing is that this time there's an additional factor...an older sibling. He will NOT understand why I have to leave home and why he has to be in a strange place for however long. And why shouldn't he also feel comfortable with where we are as a family, for such a family affair? If he's home he can sleep, play outside with my GF if it's daytime, watch a DVD on his own couch, or he can hop into my birth pool and just be there.
Not only will I be able to avoid getting in the car to give birth, but I don't have to move from my tiny house to go anywhere else afterwards, either. I can just stay the hell put in front of my wood heater (if it's cold enough), or out on the deck in the sun with blankies if it's warm enough. No going anywhere.
The FBC won't allow candles (fire regulations) and I want candles. I have time to decorate the loungeroom in some vibrant fabrics, I have all my aromatherapy supplies on hand, my fridge has my own food in it and my own bed is a few steps away from the loungeroom (VERY small house ;) ).
I really feel more mammalian about it all, than political (re: hospital policies).
I have now had 2 FBC experiences. Well, strictly speaking, it was only one, as DS was born at home as he came way too quickly (birth story in my siggie).
We are only planning on the two kids that we have, but if, for some reason, I will face the decision of where to birth again, then I will definitely plan for a HB.
My reason:
I don't want to labour the whole time in the hospital as I don't want to be "on the clock". But both my labours had one thing in common: things picked up very suddenly, rather than a steady incline. And with my last labour, once things got serious, there was no way I could have gotten to hospital in time. The next labour could be even quicker. DS was an unplanned HB with only me, DD and my mum there. Things went really well, and I will treasure this experience forever. However, I think it is much safer to have a planned HB with an experienced MW, than a freebirth. So, this is why I would choose a HB next time, so i won't be in the situation again where I will have to give birth unassisted (this terminology is unfair to my mother who was a great support).
Sasa
I'm pro choice, but TBH, my choice is hospital. I'd go birth center if I had the option - no question - but I haven't had that option, so never got the chance.
I'm just not comfortable with a HB. I don't know why, but its not me. At the same time I'd support a friend 100% for HB. I actually have a friend currently planning her second HB. (I think its her 2nd, she has 3 children & I know the last was, just not sure about the older 2.)
I also had really good experiences in hospital. Not perfect, but all 3 of mine were delivered by MWs & obs only checked on me once with DD1 & once (DS in distress) with DS.
I am 100% positive for MWs. I'm not keen on obs. I didn't see one through my second pg, just my GP as the first turned me off.
I wouldn't say I'm a birth activist but i really enjoy reading these threads - you're all really articulate which helps too!
I personally would go a group practice or case load mw system - I had such a good experience with this last time. Because I had the same mw, we had a great relationship, and we had had good discussions on what was in my birth plan, which wasn't very detailed - just the basics like no intervetion, no drugs, no hep b etc. My waters broke spontaneously, but nothing got started for a while, and my mw did a quick exam and sent me home - for up to 4 days if needed (which I didn't). I transferred to the bc when I was ready, and at no point felt like I was on the clock. I remember at one point the mw talked me out of intervention - DD was stuck - her head kept coming in and out and I asked if the mw could just pull her out (prob not the best choice of words but at the time, i wasn't capable of much speech). I was supported the whole way. Yep, the hospital wanted us to stay in a bit longer than planned, but I actually didn't mind that. And when the Postnatal ward mw kept asking about the hep B and I said we were declining it, she got a bit uppity, and went off to find out more info (i think to try and get us to have it) luckily my lovely mw came in in the meantime to visit, and put a great big 'declined' through the paperwork. Having a supportive person who is aware of birth choices is so important in having a good birth.
I find it a bit sad when women just choose private because they have cover, and they think they need an ob, without really considering it. A PP mentioned education - I think this is paramount to having a good birth, whatever the women decide.
Birth Centre/Hospital birth has some positives over home birth.
You get to stay in bed and just adore your baby and not have to see visitors all the time (set hours and midwives to send away!), you don't have to prepare meals or clean up or organise things, you can just rest.
And yes, some women can at home. Husbands step up. Older children don't drag you out of bed when you want to rest (Liebling already pulls my covers off at 6am and is strong enough to literaly pull me out of bed). The grandmothers and friends and various relatives drop by with dinner, do some washing for you and go. I don't have that. So if I get pg again where I am, I will have a birth centre over a homebirth. OK so nearer my Mum and in a big house so we have a spare room then I'll have a homebirth. But not here. I don't have the support I need to just relax and enjoy the baby.
:) And I have been to the hospital just for lunch. I still have friends who work there. I like having lunch with them. I had lunch in hospital yesterday with DH and we are the picture of health.
It would be really great to see MORE birth centres where you dont have to fight to get in.
It would be wonderful to know that if you DID get into a birth centre that you would have one midwife with you for your journey, not someone who leaves when her shift is over.
We actually wanted to use a birth centre, but didnt get in (too many on the list). Turns out my midwife had actually done several shifts at that birth centre and hated working there - one midwife running around - just didnt sound like the peaceful environment that one would want to give birth in.
And after having had one hossy and one homebirth - I just know that I could never go back. Birthing in a hospital is black, at home is white (in every sense of the word white, pure etc) - its just soooooo very different.
Dp knows I'm not going to be cleaning up anything, or cooking anything after the birth! My local homebirthing network is really good with helping mummies who have given birth at home and I have a doula friend as well, whose help I could enlist. If I didn't have these things, I'd be tempted by the stay at the FBC! And DP knows I'm going to be tougher about letting people handle the new baby - my defenses were down right after DS's birth and I couldn't enforce my preferences, and DP had already intimated that he wouldn't help in that area if his rellos wanted 'a hold'. If he doesn't tell them this time, then I will have to be the mummy dragon who says 'no, you can't have a hold for a week or two' to his family. They might have amnesia about our establishment of BFing last time, but I don't and I don't want anything to compromise it this time! Plus, I'm going to have a sling from the start this time, so it will be harder to prise the baby from me, he he!! And I can always retreat to the sanctuary of my bedroom for a sudden need to 'rest' at home.
I'm going to make some signs for the door, anyway. DS and I can have an art project together to keep the visitors in check when the time comes ;)
My memory of birthing at home is...just bliss! So I actually can't imagine what a birth centre would offer me, because if things were complicated I would probably prefer to go straight to hospital.
At home the light was perfect, the people were perfect and I got to go to shower in my shower, sleep in my bed and yes...eat my food.
You do need a lot of support to successfully homebirth. We had the freezer stocked with meals and my sister came each day for a week to do washing/cleaning etc, but I think all women need that kind of support even when they get home from hospital. Oh, and the midwives clean up after the birth, so don't worry about that!
I would choose a homebirth every time, because it is where I feel safe, secure and know I can labour successfully, in my own time and in my own way.
I am happy with the set up I've got now - antenatal visits at the hospital clinic, seen only by midwives, and a birth in the hospital birthing suite, attended only by midwives unless there is a reason for them to call an Ob. My last birth was completely spontaneous labour, only used gas because I wanted to and the only other 'intervention' was the shot of synto after the birth, which I was aware of and fine with having. I had the same midwife supporting me the whole time and I didn't see a doctor at all until after the birth because I needed some stiches for a tear. Every pregnancy I have received the bulk of my care from midwives, and my first birth only ended up being high intervention because of health reasons - I had pre-eclampsia and my BP rose severly during the labour, plus my kidney function basically stalled during labour as well, due to my BP being so high.
I have never felt the desire to have a home birth, and because I have found the hospital environment to suit my needs I have had no problems choosing a hospital to give birth each time. I am well aware of the pitfalls of hospitals, but in my experience the hospitals I have been to have been essentially 'hands off', unless there are medical reasons to intervene.