How impt was it that your partner could stay with you after birth?

I got a single room with a double bed*. Bub was born in the evening and DH stayed for a few hours before heading home. I thought i would want him there that night, but i was quite comfortable with him going home because we had both been up for more than a day and a half and i wanted him to get some sleep. My gorgeous DD slept the first night too, and so i was able to rest up too.

THe midwives i saw at RWH on the ward were lovely. On the second night they actually asked if i wanted DH to stay with me. The 'rules' are that partners don't stay but under some conditions they do allow it.


* The bed moved up and down using a remote and the head could also be angled up using the remote. I used it to help me sit up and to have good height to get out of bed and then made it higher to get up to bub's bed when i wanted to bring her on to the bed.

Tash - I know you can use PHI to get a private room at the Mercy for Women in Heidelberg - is the Mercy an option?

Even if you weren't considered "high risk" because of Leo, I just have to second what some of the PPs said about the hotel option - there are more criteria that you have to meet, not just low risk - you have to be on your way to establishing good BF (or FF, whichever you choose), baby has to be above a certain weight, some other things. Even if your Ob clears you for transfer, the hospital may not, based on their criteria, and also as someone said there might not be any room.

Also I know at the Mercy through the standard public system, they do have some partner rooms available but it really is luck of the draw. Some how my sister lucked one both times and BIL stayed but a lot of other people I know missed out. I assume it'd be similar at RWH.

Something else to consider - if you do end up needing a c/s, DH may not be able to stay even if you are private. Someone correct me if I'm wrong... but I seem to recall something about the mum needing to be in a single bed that can be levered up/down and also whisked off to theatre in case anything happens? Something like that? So would partners still be able to stay, even private? Someone will know the answer to that...

The answer to that OP, at least at Frances Perry House where I had my boys (and had a c/s for DS2), is that they have a pull out bed for DH to sleep on. After 2 nights we were transferred to a bigger room with a double bed (which still went up and down like a single hospital bed). I don't know about public, but I certainly know a few people who have had caesars in private hospitals and have had their partner stay.

Hun, I went through the same dilema. I had my son who was stillborn in a private hospital. Dh stayed and we checked out the following day. DS two was born in a public hossy but I stayed in a private room with phi because it was really important to me that DH could stay. dH stayed the whole time I was there. DS3 in a public hossy, dh went home because ds2 needed him. I was in a shared room but ds3 was in scu for the first room so I really didn't care.

Tbh in terms of support, the public hossy and a public patient was the best care.

Spring xx

DH didn't stay with me with either of the girls, things didn't go to paln with DD1, arriving 7 weeks early no warning, I ended up in a public hospital in a private room, by the time we got to the room it was well after 2 am, after having her at 10:30pm, I was exhausted, and so was he, we hadn't eaten dinner that night and DD1 was in SCBU3 so there wasn't any need for him to stay, the hospital didn't "kick him out" I said just, after he left I couldn't sleep anyway, thanks to a very loud ticking clock and the PN ward bell being right outside my room. If things had gone to "plan" and we made it to term and our private hospital DH was going to stay....

With DD2 we never planned for him to stay, I wanted him home with DD1, we were trying to keep her days as "normal" as possible, and DH worked for a few days while I was in hospital so that we could get the most out of his leave when I was out and DD1 was booked into care anyway. DD2 was a SCN bub as well, but they did end up bringing her and the isolette into my room and hooked up the O2 there, and in hindsight it would have been good to have the extra help.....

I have to say that I didn't really like a lot fo things about the private room in the public hospital, I was in a crappy spot, aside from the bell :rolleyes: right next to lounge where everyone takes their babies to "show off", had to walk down and get a pump for every feed - no one told me I could express in SCBU :( I was so far from the nursery and was never going to have DD1 with me. But when we transferred out to our private hospital, I bordered with her, she was in the room with me rather than in the nursery, and I had MW on call, if I ever rang they were there pretty darn quickly especially the first few days after transfer. Where as if we had stayed at the public hospital she would not have been released to my room....

I had a much better connection with the MW's in the private hospital, it was a LOT smaller than the public so a lot more personal.

Take care hun and I hope you find the right place for you xxoo

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The answer to that OP, at least at Frances Perry House where I had my boys (and had a c/s for DS2), is that they have a pull out bed for DH to sleep on. After 2 nights we were transferred to a bigger room with a double bed (which still went up and down like a single hospital bed). I don't know about public, but I certainly know a few people who have had caesars in private hospitals and have had their partner stay.

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Thanks Janie :D

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Something else to consider - if you do end up needing a c/s, DH may not be able to stay even if you are private. Someone correct me if I'm wrong... but I seem to recall something about the mum needing to be in a single bed that can be levered up/down and also whisked off to theatre in case anything happens? Something like that? So would partners still be able to stay, even private? Someone will know the answer to that...

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in private hospitals in Perth your DH is given a rollaway on the floor if you have a single bed (c/s or not) :)

Tash
With DD it was important to me that DH stay and we had planned to be in the Birth Centre but ended up on labour ward due to induction 24 hours after my waters breaking. I was pretty keen to go ASAP and I got a private room, DH got a trundle bed. After a 14 hour labour, 3 hours of pushing my wonky big headed beautiful girl out, I was buggered, DH had DD sleep on his chest and it meant so much to me that he was there, I could sleep soundly and SO much for him to bond in that way. We escaped about midday after a 9:35pm birth.
DS was a planned homebirth with a 9cm transfer (so unexpected I didn't even have a bag packed), DD started vomiting so DH needed to be with her and he wouldn't have officially been allowed to stay, but there is many hospital employees who will have visual defects and not notice Dad still there at midnight. I once again got a private room, before he went home our plan was he would stay in the chair and look after bub so I could sleep knowing he was in good hands, our hands.
I ended up bringing him into my bed (the cages look so wrong) against hospital advice and texting DH all night about how amazing he was. I missed DH a lot and was only comforted by the fact that DD needed him. I can't imagine any other reason it would be "ok" for him not to be there with me and our baby. And it was ok but not ideal. I missed them terribly.

I think it is important but I think you'll be able to make it happen somehow.
Or try and encourage baby to be an early morning arrival and spend the first night at home
I don't have PHI but would consider transfer to private and pay upfront AFTER the birth if there was a reason to be in hospital. I think public is the way to go for the actual giving birth bit.
I hope that helps

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Something else to consider - if you do end up needing a c/s, DH may not be able to stay even if you are private. Someone correct me if I'm wrong... but I seem to recall something about the mum needing to be in a single bed that can be levered up/down and also whisked off to theatre in case anything happens? Something like that? So would partners still be able to stay, even private? Someone will know the answer to that...

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I had DS at Masada and their double beds were just like the single beds in that they could be hoisted, sat up etc. It was never an issue there, DH slept with me in the double bed every night, including the first night (and my CS had been done at 8pm that evening). I guess it's something to ask the hossy, I'm pretty sure that Cabrin, St vincentsi and freemasons also let your partner sleep with you after a CS.

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Yes u can use you phi to seek a private room in public hospital. We can for my hospital anyway? but its not guaranteed if they are busy.

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I was told out of the 6 private rooms available at the hossi 'm going they like to keep one spare incase someone that has a long labour with C/S ending or someone that has respiratory illness goes into labour. That way they can monitor the OBs of the long labour without having to disturb other patients or keep potentially newborn life threatening illness quarantined.

It varies from hospital to hospital though

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Hun, I went through the same dilema. I had my son who was stillborn in a private hospital. Dh stayed and we checked out the following day. DS two was born in a public hossy but I stayed in a private room with phi because it was really important to me that DH could stay. dH stayed the whole time I was there. DS3 in a public hossy, dh went home because ds2 needed him. I was in a shared room but ds3 was in scu for the first room so I really didn't care.

Tbh in terms of support, the public hossy and a public patient was the best care.

Spring xx

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Thanks Spring. It's good to hear the perspective of another babyloss mama. those first hours are going to be so important. I really don't want DH to have to go home.

for me, to have DH with me, us, was crucial.

my private hossy let him stay for one night on a pull out trundle.

due to my PTSD after DD1s birth the importance of his presence was even more needed and we made HUGE decsions and pressed the issue alot with our IM on his importance during that time. there are some very cool things that your IM will be able to do to help facilitate this as well (whether you do end up having bubs at home or not)...the beauty of an IM :)

DH was my rock through both labours and afterwards.

Dont rule out public. I went to a public hossy (as a private patient) but all the rooms were the same (for public and private). Double bed, really more like a birth suite. DH stayed the night after my first birth and I needed him to help with feeds etc. Second time round we stayed the night before DS was born and the night he was born.

Very important.