Printable View
I had a meeting organised with a student midwife (to have as a support person) but she has just pulled out due to distance. Bit annoyed as i told her where i lived in the first phone call, and i have provided her with info about myself. On with the search...
This article might interest you How to know how dilated you are without VE & Self-checking of dilation & descent
i had three VE during the last few weeks of pregnancy, thinking about it now i wasnt very educated in the process and thought they were all needed. One was at 40 weeks when i went in to talk about induction, which i was saying no to and the OB did a VE and found i was not atall dilated and there for she was even keener for me to be induced. The second was at 41 weeks and was in to talk induction againa nd check baby was ok. Found i was 2c dilated and the midwife did a S&S. And the third was after 9 hours of labour and i really wish i hadnt had it i was 'only' 5cms dilated and i just crumbled, that was it, i lost it and ended up having an epi a few hours later :( :( if i hadnt had it i think i could of gone on much longer, but the thought if going through all that for 'nothing'!
Next time (if we are that lucky) i will say...NO thanks!! Unless it is really needed! not doing it again to satify an OBs curiosity as to whats going on.
Interesting to read others experiances and comments. Its deffinatly wise to go into labour with the ability to question and if you want to say no! GL
Hi Kate, you have gotten so much info and, as always beautiful responses but I just wanted to let you know of my experiences.
Both my births were at hospitals - love the idea of homebirths but just not in my case
with DS 1 I had no VE in preg until I developed pre-eclampsia at 36wks. Had one VE found to be 4cm and induced with AROM. My midwives were amzing gorgeous woman who laboured on the floor with me and when I started asking for drugs suggested a VE if I felt comfortable to see if maybe I was in transition. She did it while I was on all floors on the floor and I barely even noticed it was being done. As it turned out yes it was transition which gave me the boost to keep going without med.
DD birth had one VE at my last appointment as I was overdue and found to be dilated already again. This time I was induced with AROM a few days later. The midwife at this birth, bless her heart had a lot to learn about birthing. She insisted on checking me about half way through as my contractions were coming very fast - she was also quite rude about me being on the bed on my back and I wasn't very accomm odating - didn't want to get out of the shower. turned out I was only 6 cm which threw me for a six I had been labouring for about 2 hours and my last labour was only 5 so I assumed I would be further along. Within 30min I had the urge to push and told DH to go and get her. She said I couldn't push, I was only 6 cm - we had another argument. She called the OB - thank goodness. He walked in and she starts telling him I'm only 6cm blah blah at which time another urge to push came over me and I was screaming I have to push - like you can actually fight that urge to push. He responded with "why the hell are you telling this woman not to push" and that is the last I remember seeing of her.
So the moral of my story is :D it is possible to have a beautiful birth in a hospital however I do understand thatthe homebirth option would be amazing if it suits your circumstances and you don't need to be forced to have them.
Also not all VE's hurt - I was so worried as I had been told horror stories about how uncomfortable they were
Are they necessary - I go with the other wise women and say not really as you can go from 6cm to fully dilated in 30 min :;-):and it is clear to me that midwives and dr who are on their game can, as Inanna said know more about your labour progress from watching and listening then someone who's not and just feeling around.
I wish you a safe and happy birth and hope everything goes beautifully for you!
sorry if this sounds a bit off topic i havent had time to read through the replies but after DD2 if i were to have a natural with my next I would refuse an internal whilst in labour my reason being with DD2 labour was progressing nicely i had an epidural my forst 2 labours were natural and for some reason i wanted to compare lol so all happy not feeling a thing pretty much belly down, then i get an internal done by a nurse i didnt know my midwife was on his dinner break and my god it hurt i was in tears by the end of it, it hurt that much and i had an epi i shouldnt have felt it anyway she left and not even 5 mins later my babies heart rate was up to 240bpm and contractions had stopped 15 mins later i was in an operating room with no time to waste
Hi there,
Just wanted to say that I have had similar concerns about vaginal exams with my up coming hospital birth. At the beginning of my pregnancy I was completely distraught as I thought I would be at the mercy of hospital staff and have to let them do what-ever they wanted to do to me but this isn't true. I think comments made by other members about being well informed are really important- you can say no to anything you feel really uncomfortable with- there are lots of tools around like the brand/brain tool (what are the Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, you Intuition, and what will happing if you do Nothing) that you can use in hospital to weigh up those concerns.
The Hypnobabies website has a great affirmations track which has been really helpful in increasing my confidence in saying no when I don't feel that something being proposed is necessary. You can download separate tracks that aren't too expensive. I have already felt much more confident about asserting myself in a hospital context and I put it down to these affirmations (which, by the way, I would usually think was a bit of a crock. Heheh).
One of the big concerns for me was that I would be completely out of it and not be able to use my brain or be able to refuse something that I didn't want to do during labour so the best thing that I have done is make sure I have a good support team who know what my big issues are. I took my partner to a great birthing workshop which really emphasised the role of the birth partner and he was definitely spurred into action by it. I feel so much more at ease now I now he's backing me up. If you don't have the money to do this, get heaps of videos for your partner from the library. Any reading material I passed on was discarded by the loo after about 5 mins so videos are really good. If your library isn't that good, remember you can transfer items from other libraries and from the state library if you need to. There are a couple of good birthing partner books out there that may be able to help too (even if you just read them too your partner!).
Also we have hired a doula with similar perspective on birthing who I feel really comfortable with- perhaps there are doulas that will service your area. I know that doulas starting out don't charge that much either so that might be worth exploring.
Hope this helps.
I had an appt today at 40 weeks + 5 days. Was told by the Ob that she would do my BP, check bub (doppler) and then do a vaginal exam. I said that i was not happy to have a VE at that time, and she got cranky. I said i would get the other exams done and then we could talk about it.
Bub was good but BP was up and so i had to go for monitoring.
Ob said that she had to do a VE, so they could book me in for an induction (which would be somewhere bw 10 and 14 days past 40 weeks). Her reason was that they had to know what type of induction to book me in for. I questioned the need for a VE today, and asked how my cervix today would influence the method potentially used in at least 5 days. I said that if my cervix was closed today, but open in 5 days surely this would change the method of induction used. The Ob said no, because it would be written up now what method to use (??) and the midwife would start the induction and would just follow the written instructions.
The Ob asked why i didn't want a VE, and then tried the 'we don't want to hurt you, we just want a healthy mum and a healthy bub'. I stated that of course that was my aim too, but i still didn't see the need for a VE today. The Ob then told me of a 'woman upstairs...who had refused intervention....and bad stuff had happened to the baby...' puh lease- it was just like 'The business of being born' when as soon as you question them, then they bring out 'you are putting your baby at risk'.....
I had to go for monitoring, and the Ob said that if my BP was still high then i would be induced and i would have to have a VE. I explained again that i was not against a VE if there was a need, but could not see why one was neccessary to book in to an induction 5-9 days away. Appt made for Monday if everything was ok with the monitoring.
So, went to monitoring, everything was ok. BP came down. Had finished all testing (4+ hours later) and asked when i was able to leave. Dodgy head midwife (the rest were all lovely) said waiting for doctor to get back to them (different dr to earlier) because they had to book me in for induction. Fortunately, drs were unable to come down and were happy for me to leave and come back on Monday. (earler if anything goes wrong)
So, Monday i will have appt (if bub doesn't come over weekend) and they will want to book me in for an induction. Will want to do a VE to book me in.
So frustrated. Don't want to fight with them, because it just brings my energy down. Don't want to do something i'm not happy with because i fear i will regret it. I just want my body to do something right for once. In my weak moments, i wish i would be happy to just go along with them, because it's easier. But it's my bub, and my body and i just can't go along with something for the sake of the 'system'.
cheers,
I had an appt today at 40 weeks + 5 days. Was told by the Ob that she would do my BP, check bub (doppler) and then do a vaginal exam. I said that i was not happy to have a VE at that time, and she got cranky. I said i would get the other exams done and then we could talk about it.
Bub was good but BP was up and so i had to go for monitoring.
Ob said that she had to do a VE, so they could book me in for an induction (which would be somewhere bw 10 and 14 days past 40 weeks). Her reason was that they had to know what type of induction to book me in for. I questioned the need for a VE today, and asked how my cervix today would influence the method potentially used in at least 5 days. I said that if my cervix was closed today, but open in 5 days surely this would change the method of induction used. The Ob said no, because it would be written up now what method to use (??) and the midwife would start the induction and would just follow the written instructions.
The Ob asked why i didn't want a VE, and then tried the 'we don't want to hurt you, we just want a healthy mum and a healthy bub'. I stated that of course that was my aim too, but i still didn't see the need for a VE today. The Ob then told me of a 'woman upstairs...who had refused intervention....and bad stuff had happened to the baby...' puh lease- it was just like 'The business of being born' when as soon as you question them, then they bring out 'you are putting your baby at risk'.....
I had to go for monitoring, and the Ob said that if my BP was still high then i would be induced and i would have to have a VE. I explained again that i was not against a VE if there was a need, but could not see why one was neccessary to book in to an induction 5-9 days away. Appt made for Monday if everything was ok with the monitoring.
So, went to monitoring, everything was ok. BP came down. Had finished all testing (4+ hours later) and asked when i was able to leave. Dodgy head midwife (the rest were all lovely) said waiting for doctor to get back to them (different dr to earlier) because they had to book me in for induction. Fortunately, drs were unable to come down and were happy for me to leave and come back on Monday. (earler if anything goes wrong)
So, Monday i will have appt (if bub doesn't come over weekend) and they will want to book me in for an induction. Will want to do a VE to book me in.
So frustrated. Don't want to fight with them, because it just brings my energy down. Don't want to do something i'm not happy with because i fear i will regret it. I just want my body to do something right for once. In my weak moments, i wish i would be happy to just go along with them, because it's easier. But it's my bub, and my body and i just can't go along with something for the sake of the 'system'.
cheers,
Kate
ETA: Add to top off the day, i missed my acupuncture appt this arvo because i was on my way back from the hospital. So, from a 9am appt that was supposed to be a quick one, i wasn't home til 5pm
OH Kate!!!
Good on you for standing your ground, especially in the face of such negativity and emotional blackmail!!
Of course you are 100% right and completely reasonable. Poor Ob obviously was surprised and had no real response for you so had to fall back on the old, we just want a healthy... line. - As if you don't!!
No wonder your BP was up. Mine was up just reading your story!
Keep up the good work, no regrets, you are in control and although it may feel easier to go along with them, ultimately it is easier to have the birth you want You are well educated, not making unnecessary or unsafe requests and not likely to put yourself or your baby in danger.
It is just such a pity that you feel you have to be on the defensive. It's a crazy system.
All the best for this weekend ;)
Hey Kate - hang in there chook! I think you did the right thing for you in asking them to wait. It's a bit of a balancing act. For what it's worth though, not all VE's are bad. I had one when I came in (so already having cx's), which came back showing them that I hadn't dilated at all. Had another one about 4 hours later, because all my "signs" were that things were progressing & that it was all happening, but in actual fact I still hadn't dilated even a cm. And my cx's were nasty & very full on - over a minute long, and every 2 minutes. I was already exhausted. So at that point, in labour, it was really useful information, because had I not had a VE, we may have chosen to just use an epidural to manage the pain, which would only have resulted in several more hours of pointless effort, because the way DS had tangled himself in his cord, there was no way he was coming out naturally.
Anyway, you're going to do fine I reckon - you're well informed, very sensible and in tune with what you want, which is a really good start, even if you haven't done it before. So sending you lots of labour vibes for your weekend :dance:
Kate I just want to say that I appreciate the content of this thread and all the posts that have come since your original. Its been very helpful for me considering my options as well. So thank you.
I also wanted to say how sorry I am that they're starting to pressure you, especially when you're probably feeling over it and vulnerable. But it sounds like you've got it sorted and I say good on you for sticking to your preferences.
Sending you lots of labour vibes for the next few days, I hope everything goes well.
:hug: