Need a spontaneous labour cheer squad

You are doing a wonderful job! Great idea with your goal setting! :cheer:
Rach xx

Ok, freak out happening today. :o

DH has to go away interestate tonight for one night and be back first thing tomorrow. He works in the sort of job where it is non negotiable IYKWIM, he is required to do a certain job that only he can do. Well needless to say I had a meltdown when he told me :crying: but he assures me that it will be ok.

So today, send me all the *stay put bub* vibes you can.

If I do go into labour I'm going to ask my Mum to come with me. I couldn't do it alone and even though I have no idea how I'll do it without DH realistically I need a back up place.

So today, I'm doing nothing, no housework, no shopping, nothing. Even just walking sets off BH so for today the TV is on, DS can watch as many cartoons as he likes, I'm doing NUTING. Last thing I want to do is help move things along.

Spring

I'm sure this is a very considerate baby whose going to naturally wait so that he/she can meet Daddy as well! *calm no-labour-until-tomorrow vibes*

Bubs isn't ready to come yet. There will be no labour today (positive thoughts and reinforecements ;)) DH will be home before this child arrives.

I am so proud of you :hug: You are doing great.

Calm relaxing vibes for you Spring. I'm sure bubs will wait till Daddy gets home :hug:

DH just called, they have him on the earliest possible flight so he'll be back by 10am tomorrow. I had a really good chat to Mum, she put my mind at ease and said 100% she would love to be there if I need her. She had 3 kids without even gas so I'm sure she'd be great. I'm feeling ok, less than 24 hours to go to DH is home.

Thanks for the support.

Spring

Happy to report that bub stayed put. Phew on all accounts. Only a few hours until DH is home.:D

Spring xx

What a good bub! It's probably the last time you'll wish your bub stays in now LOL!

I guess now we're back to *bring it on* vibes! Glad that bit is done and you can all look forward together to a natural spontaneous labour.

Oh guys, I need you now more than ever.

I just had my CTG and clinic appointment. Trace was great, bub doing perfectly. Then my appointment.

Had a Dr. I've never had before, she seemed ok, pretty quiet but that is fine. Did the usual checks BP great, fundal height 40cms, doppler great.

We sit down and she begins to talk induction. I told her that I've decided not to have the S&S and that I'd prefer to wait and see. We get into a bit of a conversation and she goes and makes a call to the head High Risk Dr. Agree I'll come in next week for scan and CTG but have to go to the birth suit as usual clinic is closed for Christmas.

Then she asks me why I don't want to be induced, I go through my reasons. Then came the whopper. She says

" the thing with stillbirth is that it has happened before and it can happen again, I know this baby is healthy now but so was the one you lost'.

I was just shocked. I thought for a moment and then I said to myself I'm going to let her know the impact of her statement. So I spent the next 10 mins (through my tears) telling her that I know exactly that babies can die, that I live with that fear every day, that I agonise over ever decision I make, that I spend all day and night on tenderhooks waiting for the next movement. That I've spent 3 years trying to build my confidence for this very moment only to have her errode it with one comment. That any baby can die, babies can die in labour, babies can die at any stage. I then went on to explain the impact of her statement, that I would be agonising over it, that it served no purpose other than to make me doubt myself and to make me feel guilty. That is a very short version of what I said to her but you get the picture.

She listened to me and then took a moment and then started crying. She said she couldn't appologise enough and that she would take onboard what I had said to her. She said she just didn't think but now realises how dramatic it was for her to say.

So I'm totally exhausted, I'm proud of myself for telling her exactly how I felt and not just running to my car and crying. I do feel doubtful now, am I doing the right thing, I just don't know anymore.

The only thing I can face now is some lunch and a sleep. Hopefully I'll feel better when I wake up.

Spring

Oh Spring :hug: what an ordeal!!! I can't believe she said that to you, especially knowing your history! The fact that she cried at least indicated that you were able to get through to her how unnecessary and cruel her comments were. Well done for being able to articulate your thoughts. I'm in shock :o that she would be so unbelievably insensitive.
I really have to applaud your presence of mind, I think I would have just dissolved into a blubbering mess, so you did well to stand up to her and make your point so firmly. But still why should you have to go through something like that at a time like this!
Anyway, rest up and take care, you have a natural, spontaneous labour to prepare for .... just fluffing up my pom-poms so they'll be ready ;)

Oh Spring! :hug: You amazing woman! You brilliant amazing woman. xo

I am so glad that you got your message through to this doctor and that she now knows the impact of her words - how many doctors say something scary to get the decision that they want - but you have made a difference! :hug: I can't properly say how proud I am of you that you stuck around.

Well done! :hug: You can do this Spring. xo You are already showing confidence in yourself, despite your doubts.

Oh Spring, I wish I could give you this hug in person :hug:.

I'm so proud of you for telling that Dr exactly how you felt and what her words did to you :hug:. I know that from your courage to stay there and talk to her you have prevented her from saying something like that to someone else.

Please don't lose faith in yourself. Don't let this woman's word erode all the hard work you have done to get where you are right now. Like Nelle said, you have just shown the confidence you have in yourself :). I have no doubt you will use this situation to help someone else one day and you have already helped many other women that you will never know by changing the way this Dr thinks :).

It's amazing how one person's negative words can make you forget the positive words of 1000 people. Don't forget the rest of us who have faith in you and your body :hug:.

Way to go Spring - it sounds as though you handled yourself perfectly. I am so over doctors who scaremonger women into adhering to their personal agendas. Besides - the statistics do NOT support what she is saying at all. Honestly, give someone a white coat and a medical degree and they think they have a license to bend the truth and discard evidence based medicine.
Rates of complications (including SB) are far greater amoung artificially induced labours than spontaneous labours. Induction is the single greatest cause of infant distress - common even amoung induced labours which end in a successful vaginal delivery. The docs know this - its just that they consider emergency c/s with a healthy baby a positive outcome - the mental and physiological impact this operation can have on the mother and baby is irrelevant. (sorry - bit of a vent there...:redface:)

Stay strong and stay positive Spring - no one has the right to make you feel guilty or irresponsible for making the best possible decision for your baby and your body. Trust in yourself - your body, your baby and Mother Nature combined are infinitely wiser than anyone standing by in a white coat.
Should there be a justified reason for considering induction then of course your options may change - but as long as you and that baby continue to prove that all is well (or NORMAL), why complicate an uncomplicated situation? Really - the shame is on the medical profession for suggesting unecessary intervention against the best available research evidence.

You can be proud of yourself - you spoke for many of us today. ;)

thepixie, Nelle, Trish and JellyBean :grouphug:

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your very wise and comforting words. I just still feel so upset. I managed to have a sleep when DS did and I feel worse for it. I just feel so down and I was doing so well. I told DH all about it when he got home and he was furious. 'How dare she' and 'I'm so sorry I couldn't be there' was what he kept saying.

I know I'll overcome this, it has just knocked me. I'm not usually a teary person but I can't stop crying.

So I've decided to be proactive. After dinner tonight we are going to go for a nice long walk and see if we can get things started the natural way.

I'll show her!

Spring

Spring i'm so so proud of you for speaking up! what courage that took. so many women would've just let that comment go and then cried alone, and wow, she obviously didn't think her comment through at all. i feel like you've had such an impact on her and that she'll never do that again without thinking, i'm just in awe of how courageous you were!

Oh I am so so sorry you had to go through that, it is just horrible, I think you did an amazing job being strong enough to say what you did to her, hopefully this might help other woman down the road and make her rethink her ways.

You are absolutely doing the right thing!!! trust yourself I agree that spontaneous labour is much safer than induced labour, I hope you can get your confidence back and I hope you enjoy a wonderful walk xo

Oh Spring :hug:, I'm another who feels so proud of you getting your message across to do some good, despite the pain and hurt you were in.

Go that long walk, I really hope you do get to show the dr that not only do you know what you're doing, but your body does to.