:o That is totally crossing the line to me. But maybe it's because I don't have kids yet. Something tells me I wouldn't change my mind though.....
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:o That is totally crossing the line to me. But maybe it's because I don't have kids yet. Something tells me I wouldn't change my mind though.....
Carrots are fine - however, when out on walks, Liebling will ask if he can eat berries that aren't safe for him, but that he has seen and picked. I'm OK with him picking and eating blackberries - one of the joys of childhood - but other berries are not safe.
Cakes are fine for most children, but we have to check for cowmilk before Liebs is allowed them. Safe for one baby doesn't mean safe for another.
I agree that what is safe for one baby may be unsafe for another but the author and her friends aren't concerned about the safety or nutritional appropriateness, their outrage is over the image of the baby suckling at another woman's breast so in this particular example the safety etc isn't an issue. It is an emotional issue about a baby choosing to feed when it was offered a safe appropriate meal.
I'd be upset, as everyone else has said it's the permission thing. Honestly if it were me in that situation I wouldn't have even given a bottle to a bottle fed baby without checking first - it's just politeness. Unless of course specific instructions were left, which in this story it doesn't sound as though they were.
I wondered that too, why not at least call?:
Agreed. It seems odd.:
I'm with you on this one.:
The MAJOR issue here is that the mum #3 didnt ask permission. that to me, is a violation and has potential health implications (ie transmittable diseases etc).
I would be furious and lose my nut if someone did that without my permission, BUT i think that the writer of the article missed that point because all she could find offense to was that the mum #3 nipple is (according to her) a toilet-cleaning toothbrush. Not to mention the molehill of questions that arise from her abohorrence at the image of a nipple that is not her own entering her baby's mouth?? I mean, really? Is that all you can imagine??
I have donated EBM and would, if asked BF anothers child. And, if needed, allow someone to BF my child.
(FWIW, i was BF by my Aunt a couple of times :)).
totally agree, i wouldnt even leave my child if i was going out. sorry i know control freak. but i like to have him with me. especially in the midst of feed time.... something very fishy.:
In theory I have no problem with someone else feeding my baby, I'd be more upset at the thought of him crying for 30 minutes than at the thought of someone else feeding him BUT - I'd want to be asked first. I'd be ok with feeding someone else's baby too. If I was left alone with 3 babies and one of them was distraught and I was breastfeeding, I'd probably ring Mum and ask what she usually did to settle her, but feeding her myself wouldn't be the first thing I'd think of. If she was going to be gone for hours, then yeah, I'd bring it up.
I'd be surprised if this story was accurate though, sounds like someone made up a situation to prove a point. I think the level of disgust is a bit OTT.
My biggest issue would be that the milk had not been screened, not that another women fed my baby. All milk at breast milk banks is screened, you don't know how careful other people are about what they take/eat or if they have anything that could be passed through the milk. Sometimes people don't know they carry certain things. I would be really annoyed for those reasons, and why could she not pick up a phone and call.
I mentioned this to my mum last night & apparently or was normal in their mother group when i was a baby for the mother left babysitting to bf bubs if they needed it and often shared bf duties so someone could have a rest or go on date night etc.
On an interesting side note she mentioned that one boy used to feed every 2-4 hrs right up until 12 months, except with one lady's bm (who incidentally had great sleepers) when he would sleep for 7+ hrs at night
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I do not have a problem with people breastfeeding other peoples babies. I myself would happily donate EBM if possible here in Canberra.
BUT I would not want anyone breastfeeding MY children, and I would never give them permission to do so, even if they did ask. I would be beyond livid if somebody did do it without my permission, and can honestly say that I would likely be pursuing legal action. IMHO, there is simply no need for it to happen to my children. My babies could either wait for my return, or at absolute worst (and I was uncontactable or gone for an extended period), then I would be happier for then to be fed formula or even plain old cows milk or cooled boiled water, until my return.
I am not comfortable with the idea of another woman breastfeeding my child. I am not living in a third world country where my child may end up unnourished or starving. There is no justification that could convince me that someone else breastfeeding my child would be the best thing to happen. Breastmilk may be fabulous - but that is my decision as a parent to make, and noone has the right to take that away from me, and my children going a couple of feeds without breastmilk just does not seem like a big enough issue for someone else to override that right.
And just beacause others are comfortable with the idea of someone else breastfeeding their child, does not mean that the rest of us aren't valid in our feelings on the matter. Permission, or no permission.
FWIW - I would feel more comfortable with my children receiving someone elses EBM, then I would be to have someone 'breastfeed' them. But I would still decline that option if any other possible means of my child being fed were available.
Well, because of the society we live in I'd always ask permission, but frankly I'm a bit *meh* about the whole thing.
I don't mean to sound like a complete hippie or anything, but I actually think this is how human beings were meant to behave towards each others' children. This is a very 20th/21st century take on what used to be completely normal (and still is in many cultures). I'd be more annoyed if she gave my child a bottle of formula (and not to point out the obvious, but I have no idea which cow, which manufacturing plant and its workers and so on, were responsible for producing the food in that case) - in fact, then I probably would have stormed out of the house!
I might be a bit taken aback if someone else fed my baby without asking first, but I doubt I'd rant and rave. I'd probably be more annoyed that I'd now have to express off a feed to ease my poor bbs! Unless the other Mum would be happy for me to bf her child in return. :dunno:
Personally, I'd love it if this went back to being a non-issue and we were all so used to ppl doing it we didn't even feel this was worth writing about.
I agree with the writer. I find it completley innapropriate. I wouldnt be comfortable with this, nor would I give anyone permission to breastfeed my child.
What Jennifer said.
The article doesn't mention anything about cell phones or calling. Maybe the mums who went out didn't take their phones or something. Like I said before - meh. The only problem I see is the lack of communication.
Yeah, totally agree. I'm not dismissing the validity of others feeling horrified but I personally don't get it:
Well, because of the society we live in I'd always ask permission, but frankly I'm a bit *meh* about the whole thing.
I don't mean to sound like a complete hippie or anything, but I actually think this is how human beings were meant to behave towards each others' children. This is a very 20th/21st century take on what used to be completely normal (and still is in many cultures). I'd be more annoyed if she gave my child a bottle of formula (and not to point out the obvious, but I have no idea which cow, which manufacturing plant and its workers and so on, were responsible for producing the food in that case) - in fact, then I probably would have stormed out of the house!
I might be a bit taken aback if someone else fed my baby without asking first, but I doubt I'd rant and rave. I'd probably be more annoyed that I'd now have to express off a feed to ease my poor bbs! Unless the other Mum would be happy for me to bf her child in return.
Personally, I'd love it if this went back to being a non-issue and we were all so used to ppl doing it we didn't even feel this was worth writing about.
We all have different opinions, thoughts and feelings...that is what makes us individuals.:
You don't have to 'get' it but just accept that is how others feel :)
Accepted :):
We all have different opinions, thoughts and feelings...that is what makes us individuals.
You don't have to 'get' it but just accept that is how others feel
Im going to go out on a limb and say the mother of the inappropriately breastfed child should have either stayed if there was a possibility of a feed (which was implied in the article) or taken the baby with her.
Mother Three should not have breastfed without the other mother's consent, for sure, but no one knows the circumstances. Mother Three might have had a distressed screaming infant who wanted a feed on her hands (and who could prob smell her milk) and she made a split second decision (however inappropriate).
You know, in the circumstances it sounds like she could have asked permission first. I'm assuming the mums who went out took a phone with them. And if she could have contacted the mum then it really would have been better if she did. In fact she really should have. Just like she really should have asked permission first to give the child anything. You don't just give formula or solids to a child without checking with the mum first. With an older child, who is already eating well you would still check before giving him/her something to eat wouldn't you? So the real issue is that she fed the child without permission more so than how she fed him. That's how I see it anyway. And perhaps I am not in the majority here, but if there was an emergency and I had a hungry baby I couldn't feed, I would rather someone find a way to give it breastmilk than anything else. To me that is the least harm option.
I can understand mum 2 being upset in that situation but I really don't think articles like that do any of us any favours.
I think there was a lack of communication on everyones behalf
If you know you're baby is close to a feed you take the child with you or have an alternate plan in place.
I think mumma3 did the wrong thing and should have maybe discussed it with the babys mother before they went.
i think if it was my kid, i would have been offended. would the other mother like if it happened to her?
ive never breastfeed my kids....
My feelings exactly!:
If it had've been me in this situation, I would have been pi$$ed. BF'ing anothers child without permission is a huge no-no. I guess you can kind of relate it to a Midwife giving a newborn formula without parental permission only this is much, much more personal.
Relating it to using someones toothbrush to clean the toilet is a huge dramatisation and a prime example of a writer being writer (ie drama queen).
I would be happy to donate or receive ebm if needed, but I don't think I would feel comfortable feeding or having my baby fed by someone else. especially if they hadn't asked!!!