Breastfeeding Cards

But I was breast feeding it just came out of a bottle. That's my point. Just cos they are sucking it out of a breast doesn't make it any better than a teat. My sons bottles were special teats to help him feed, I had to physically squeeze the teat at a certain pressure and pace to release the milk. Was a lot of hard work and noone gave me a card! It was much nicer when people spoke to me about how I was feeding and then I could explain the situation and that it was breastmilk. So having a conversation is more natural, that was what novella was asking.

TFB- I understand what you're saying. I guess we're just different. I don't mind positive judgements/encouragement, I think it's nice!

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Just cos they are sucking it out of a breast doesn't make it any better than a teat.

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That's what I mean though. Encouraging a breastfeeding mother doesn't mean you're saying breastfeeding is better than feeding BM from a bottle. It's just encouraging a mother. I don't care if mother's are encouraged for feeding their baby from their boob or a bottle, BM or formula. Encourage away people! The world needs more encouragement! lol. Although, maybe not via a card, it might not go down too well, LOL.

Personally a card wouldn't bother me. I might prefer it to awkward conversation sometimes, but everybody's different! I had 2 old ladies come up to me a couple of days ago while I was feeding DD2 and pat her head and say how beautiful it was, was so nice :)

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I loved it when people acknowledged me breastfeeding. I think the point is to encourage women who BF in public, because there is so much negative association with it and lots of people sneer and turn their noses up. I don't really see the harm. It's not about making a political statement, it's about banding together and making others feel like breast feeding in public isn't something to be ashamed about. If being given a card or being told 'good for you're whatever makes someone feel uncomfortable, well, the good news is it's certainly not going to be happening very often. I'd prefer a convo as opposed to a card too.

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I agree with everything you wrote :)

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It's not like it said 'saw you feeding, nice rack' :rofl:

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Lol!!!

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I find the concept of communicating by giving someone a card instead of talking to them creepy, regardless of the message. A smile is far easier to give than a card and it uses less resources too.

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I guess the cards could be used when a conversation is not possible. Perhaps in a busy place, or if the other person is with friends, if you didn't have time to stop etc... Also, some people find it really hard to strike up conversations with strangers.

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The cards were only talking about breastfeeding, not bottle feeding. Same old thing, if you say anything good about breastfeeding it seems to mean you're really trying to say that all formula feeders are terrible mothers. No, that's not the case.

Sure, some people would like the cards, some would think they're weird but it's pretty obvious their intention wasn't negative.

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I also agree with everything Heaven wrote as well.


Imagine that you were a breastfeeding mother that likes to feed your baby/toddler whenever they are hungry, but there are absolutely NO other woman in the world that ever do it. Would you feel comfortable going out into public and doing it then? Now imagine that EVERY mother that could, and wanted to, breastfeed did so whenever their child was hungry and they were in public. That it was a totally normal everyday occurrence to see when out in public. I bet you would feel much more comfortable breastfeeding in public in that scenario. I think anything that promotes the normality of breastfeeding in public is a good thing. There are so many woman out there that would like to breastfeed in public, but still feel uncomfortable to do so. I'm not making a political statement each time I breastfeed in public. I'm giving my children what they need, and if at the same time I am helping to make other woman feel more comfortable to do the same, then YAY! There's nothing wrong with a little pat on the back from time to time ;)

I dont think acknowledging breastfeeding is unnatural, people acknowledge things about my children to me such as their smiles, manners, playing nicely, looking cute and Im ok with that as Im ok with them acknowledgeing that Im breastfeeding. Personally I feel a card isn't natural but thats me, it wouldn't upset me but I feel its awkward, I would prefer someone to come up to me while feeding and say what a 'lovely baby, you're doing a great job' or something along those lines. I have had people do that :)

I wasnt trying to start a BF vs FF debate. I dont think these cards have anything to do with formula feeding, they are about public breastfeeding. I would consider it more of a judgement about public vs private bf rather than FF vs BF and personally I think what ever you a comfertable doing as a mum is fine!

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Imagine that you were a breastfeeding mother that likes to feed your baby/toddler whenever they are hungry, but there are absolutely NO other woman in the world that ever do it. Would you feel comfortable going out into public and doing it then?

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Yes, I would. Because I had researched the topic before my son was born and felt this was the best thing for him and for me. So sod the world - they can do things they feel are best for them, I'll do what's best for me. And yes, I did that. I used a sling so much I was criticised for not even having a pram (I did, just didn't use it so much). Came under fire for wanting cloth nappies, as well as for using them. For BFing past birth/6 months/1 year. For bedsharing with my son and not my husband. For not using CIO techniques. For still going to Liebling at 2am in the morning for a cuddle when he wants (needs) one.

But you know what? I did what I knew to be best for us. I don't see why anyone should judge me on parenting. It isn't as if decent parenting or different parenting choices is child abuse!

I get what you guys are saying about normalising breastfeeding, but to me giving out cards saying good on you for breastfeeding kind of takes away from the normality of it. Like I said in my last post, I'd prefer just regular, normal interactions where I don't get a negative response, but not an overly positive one either. If you need to talk to me while I'm feeding my DD, just say what you need to say. Me feeding her doesn't change the situation.

And that's exactly what I've experienced so far. No one's told me I should cover up, and no one's told me it's fantastic. And those "normal" interactions while I'm feeding her just help me feel like the whole thing is normal, yanno?

Maybe I live on the moon but I don't know anyone who would not breastfeed in public if that's what was required.

I'm with you TFB, I wouldn't stop what I wanted/needed to do just because no one else was doing it.

Ha. I didn't BF in public to make a political statement. I did it to annoy my mother. Even though she wasn't there. I was just making a point. She tried to cover me up once & it annoyed me. I must admit though that I didn't really like it when people spoke to me. Smiles or whatever were fine but I considered it to be a private thing even though it is in a public place. People don't talk to me if I'm eating my lunch in public with no baby around ITMS. I agree with what Kaytee said.

I know plenty if women who find it difficult to bf in public. I'm living with one ;) and it wasn't till my second that I was comfortable. And out of her mothers group she's the only one breastfeeding.

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Maybe I live on the moon but I don't know anyone who would not breastfeed in public if that's what was required.

I'm with you TFB, I wouldn't stop what I wanted/needed to do just because no one else was doing it.

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good for you for being confident. Plenty of women aren't. I've been told by family members that I should have weaned by now. My baby was 8mths old at the time. A friend of a friend expressed that if I were to go to a dinner party at their house, that I should excuse myself from the room to breastfeed my baby. I wouldn't...but I don't have support from my peers to breastfeed in public.

I've met women who won't feed their babies in public because they think it's inappropriate. I can count the number of times I've seen women breastfeed in public on one hand. Breastfeeding may be the normal way to feed a baby but it isn't normalised and women who do it are regularly discriminated against.

I've had one person positively acknowledge me when I've been BFing in public - it was in the early days when I was still getting the hang of things and it really boosted confidence to have someone give me encouragement. If I received a card I imagine I'd feel similarly. I don't *need* the encouragement, but it helps a great deal. I feel pretty nervous breastfeeding in public but I do it anyway...because I feed my baby when he's hungry, but also because I think it's important for other women who want to breastfeed one day to see it being done.

Eutra, can I ask why you feel nervous breastfeeding in public?

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good for you for being confident. Plenty of women aren't. I've been told by family members that I should have weaned by now. My baby was 8mths old at the time. A friend of a friend expressed that if I were to go to a dinner party at their house, that I should excuse myself from the room to breastfeed my baby. I wouldn't...but I don't have support from my peers to breastfeed in public.

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I've had my husband tell me I am not to BF in front of people, that I should be cloistered to do it. I've had ALL the in-laws get up and leave the room when I fed Liebling so that I could be cloistered, when in fact I was enjoying the conversation and my small baby was hungry. Including making 18mo niece leave as well, because she was curious as to what was going on.

And I still say sod them, I am not embarrassed to feed my child the way I choose to.

Good for you TFB! I think "sod them" pretty much sums it up!

If you can't stand up for your child, who will you stand up for?

Surely everyone can see that there was no malice intended in the card. Perhaps it wasn't well thought through, or the ABA didn't do any market research first, but the intention was good.

I am nervous feeding in public too.. I'm not sure why I got nervous.. I just did. I did it though still because I felt it was important to be able to feed my son anywhere, but I definitely don't now because of DS's breast refusal.. I never know if he will latch on or if he'll scream and push me away..

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Eutra, can I ask why you feel nervous breastfeeding in public?

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*sigh* why? So you can tell me I should get over it and stick up for my kid?

I *do* breastfeed in public. Anytime my baby needs to be fed. When people tell me I shouldn't do it, I tell them why they're wrong. I feel nervous about it because I suffer from anxiety and have experienced sexual violence perpetrated by a stranger. I feel nervous that when I'm breastfeeding my baby I am vulnerable to abuse or violence from strangers.

I'm not *embarassed* by it.

:hug: Eutra_phalia

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*sigh* why? So you can tell me I should get over it and stick up for my kid?

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That's harsh, and more than a little offensive.

I was actually curious why young women would feel nervous. I wondered if women from my generation/older women had a different attitude.