Oh Em, i remember those feelings all too well. And the guilt for feeling like that. It is ok to set boundaries for yourself and DD. Can you give her to DH for awhile?
I used the Pantley method to stop the all night sucking, but you need to hsve the energy to work through it. Does DD take a bottle, sippy cup or drink bottle? can you offer her water? it might not work at first but if you keep offfering, she might take you up on the offer one day.
i also had to do a countdown with DD. count from 10 to 1, then she had to come off. i would practise during the day, and then even when she was asleep i would whisper the numbers and she would come off much easier.
the countdown has also come in handy now that baby is here. sometimes if i am feeing DD, but DS really needs me, i can do a quick countdown and tell DD that i have to do x,y,z but then she can have another feed . sometimes she still cracks it, but therre is more understanding and acceptance than if i just cut her off with no warning.
have you thought about night weaning DD before baby arrives?
take care

