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PZ, I know what being a mum is like, we all do. You become self-sacrificing to a fault. You will throw yourself under a car to save your child. I understand that.
But in the last few years I've also come to understand that if you don't take care of YOU, you will not necessarily be the best mother for your child. I worry that you think you're forsaking Miss I 'for your own convenience' because your sanilty, your attitude to life, you ability to cope with everything directly corresponds with hers. If you feel beaten down, overwhelmed, at the end of your rope, then you are not at your best equipped to deal with everything.
You can tell me to shut up and **** off if you want, but I say this out of love. You need to let go of trying to control every single bit of this, because I can see that it's doing your head in. People deal with 1) pregnancy, 2) breastfeeding issues, 3) a fretful, non-sleeping baby, c) living with parents and d) working on their marriage but NOT all at the same time and expect to keep on keeping on.
This one is easy. She needs milk, you don't have enough. Give her milk. EBM if you can get it and it's NOT hard or inconvenient, but if not, formula (and from everything you've said, the kind of formula you're most comfortable with).
To take care of Miss I and the baby in your belly, you need to take care of you too. End of story.
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Have you thought about a supply line to feed her hun? that way shes still on your breast and doesnt need a bottle? might make the process a little easier on you mentally
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Hun - I know how passionate you are about breastfeeding. I am too. But at the end of the day, if she needs milk, she needs milk.
My sister is also passionate about bf and had to deal with her DD self-weaning at 13 months and her DS self-weaning at 10 months :( It devastated her. Nothing she could do would encourage them to keep feeding. And she had plenty of milk. I'm pretty sure it still bugs her, as I think this will continue to be a thorn in your side, but you need to process it and try and move on.
I agree with sushee completely as well - you need to look after you. You've got so much going on right now, I really think you need to just take it one day at a time, one step at a time. This is one step.
:hug: :hug: :hug:
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Oi, be kind to yourself miss! Early pregnancy hormones can really knock you about, I know this time I went completely nuts and didn't know why, as it was a surprise... none the less didn't make it easier when I did know. Try and find some time to relax, breathe deep and ask yourself from a position of calm what you need to do. We don't make good decisions or ones we're happiest with when we're stressed or under pressure. Be kind... ask yourself in calm... you'll know the answer.
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:hug: There is so much letting go when you're a parent. Not just the letting go as your child grows up and becomes independent but also letting go of your own plans and hopes for parenting. I think that this is one of these times. You have an ideal but reality is intruding. You've done really well to get this far and Isla is so well loved. I'm sure she's going to be ok.
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Whatever decision you make should be in the best interests of Isla, the bundle on board, and yourself obviously. If FF-top ups is the answer, so be it. There should never be any shame or guilt associated with feeding a child, FF or BF. I think you've done an awesome job at sourcing EBM for her thus far. You can't say you 'never tried' or 'gave in easily', because you obviously have been fighting this 'transition' since becoming UTD.
All the best PZ, I hope this situation smoothes (or rather BUMPS out!) soon. XX
Onyx's last post before mine is one you should take to heart hunni. On the mark she is with that one. xx
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Big hugs honey
I was devistated when I had to stop bf. I still miss it but baby girl is happy and healthy and its worked out ok. It will work out ok for you too.
Your preggy and feeling not so great, so be gentle with yourself. It will work its self out, some times these things take alittle more time then we feel we have to sort out but it will. Your doing such a great job. :)
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PZ, have you spoken to an ABA counsellor at all? They are trained to help mothers with all sorts of things, including the grief associated with weaning.
All I can say is that what you're feeling is valid and understandable. Sometimes our brains tell us things need to be a certain way and we know the logic is sound, but our hearts - and in this case it's really our lower mammalian brains - tell us something else entirely. You can rationalise it all you like, but your feelings are what they are. :hug:
You can work through this with help, time and understanding.
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Alot of wonderful posts here, I hope you can find some peace. Just a thought & discard it if you want - perhaps try looking at BF, EBM (yours or other peoples) and formula as food/milk & that is all? Just a source to fill your DD up from what she doesn't intake in food. It may help to take out the emotion of not being able to bf as successful as you'd like at this point in time? And like you said, it might be just a small break and once your hormones settle she might go back to bf more. Look after yourself - emotionally I mean. Sushee made excellent points in her post.
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An update. I sent a message yesterday to a local lady who had a big surplus of EBM from February to now that she was willing to donate. She came over today and gave it to us :) I did it, I took that step, reached out and got the help I needed. I know I'll have to keep reaching out, but the kindness of this woman really touched me. So yeah, that's where I'm at. Accepting that I do need to majorly supplement, but comfortable that it's with EBM. Best of a bad situation I reckon :)
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That's fantastic PZ.. It's hard to reach out sometimes.. But if DD can't have your milk at least she's having the next best thing :)
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Thanks so much blessedatlast, it was your PM's and support that got me there :hug:
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Great news :)
Just out of interest, did you end up asking her to have a blood test?
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:leap: That's awesome!
I'm always do in awe of you, even when you're not sure of yourself. I mean, how many people would research things so intensely *just in case* they need something? I know I wouldn't have :)
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that's fantastic pz. you really pushed yourself out of your comfort zone :D
Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2
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You sound much happier about it PZ. That's great to hear
