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some people may be willing to give up things that others aren't but it doesn't make them any better at bf or mothering in gentle. As long as mumma and bub are happy, that is all that matters imo.
wow. I don't agree with this statement at all. I hope that you've accidentally missed some important information out of that sentence and don't mean to make such a harsh generalisation.:
I don't think I have given up anymore than I had while pg. I went back to ballet when she was 10 weeks, I work casually and I go out at night too. I never leave her for more than a couple of hours, but that is because I miss her!! (and I didn't express either...too annoying and she wouldn't take bottles)
In the early days, I did feel weighed down by her constant need to be attached to me day and night, but that was just an adjustment thing. And it passes so quickly!
I think women need support to breastfeed, and that means time without the baby and rest to help cope with the intensity of a suckling babe. Some babies are more demanding than others too.
Do you feel you are sacrificing too much Kate? It is a big adjustment when a tiny baby needs you so much, but I think that is true irrespective of feeding choice. Hang in there!
I have given up my fabulous wardrobe... All my clothes are difficult to breastfeed in.. and I miss wearing tight dresses where the sleeves don't easily slip down.
I have given up having fun days/nights at the pub with friends (because I don't like the idea of bringing my baby to a place full of drunk people)
I've given up going out at night! (Coz DD still feeds every 3hrs)
But I don't mind wearing looser clothes, staying in at night and missing out on the pub, because feeding times with DD are just ten times more enjoyable than all of these things!
Barb is correct, as most research concludes that breastfeeding lowers the mothers risk of breast and ovarian cancer, as well as protecting babies against asthma, allergies, gastro and ear infections in their babyhood, and diabetes and cancer in their adulthood. The longer the period of breastfeeding, the greater the health benefits.:
Research does not cover every mother, baby or situation. I'm not saying that the research is wrong. Agree with the research. I just think that comments like that when applying it to a group as a whole are wrong and short sighted.
:yeahthat::
I don't think i have "given up" anything... I have just made adjustments :-)
Breastfeeding my baby would most definitely have meant giving up my health.
For some, health conditions can be so chronic and debilitating that it is quite simply impossible to go without the appropriate medications to treat them. While there usually are some medications that can be used that are still safe to breastfeed while taking them... Where do you go when they no longer work?
For me... breastfeeding my son meant being in so much pain that I couldn't get out of bed. Being in so much pain that I could barely hold him as a tiny, 2.5kg premmie baby.
The medications that were safe to take while pregnant or breastfeeding where no longer effective for my condition. The medications needed to restore me to some sort of health where I could be functional are dreadfully unsafe to breastfeed with.
While I understand that for MOST women, it's not a matter of needing to sacrifice your health to be able to breastfeed, there are SOME women with health conditions that are so severe that it quite literally is a matter of having to give up breastfeeding in order to have some sort of relationship with your own child.
I fail to see how health outcomes in my family could have been any better if I had insisted on breastfeeding. For a start, I wouldn't have been able to care for my son, let alone myself.
Kate, I know that you also suffer from a chronic health condition. :hug: Sometimes it's simply more important to be healthy and well enough to interact with your child and feed them formula than to persist with breastfeeding and end up sacrificing your health. I know that some may find that statement offensive, but the reality is that unless you have also suffered from a chronic and debilitating health condition, you cannot know what it is really like to walk in those shoes.
BW
Of course every situation is different and should be looked on in it's own terms. But in general, across the population as a whole, formula feeding mothers and their babies have poorer health outcomes than breastfed ones. Not a nice truth (especially for people like me who chose to introduce formula feeding for no medical reason) but a truth nonetheless.:
Im with Winter on this one, Id pretty much give up anything. As Barb mentioned though-you dont have to, yes in the early days you cant go out and booze or party but even if you were FF would you really want to??
It's not that I disagree with the research. I just disagree with the comment which is stating that ALL formula feeding mothers and babies are worse off. I don't agree with comments like that no matter what they are about.
I see what you mean Mad scientist. I added the words "in general" to Barb's statement (in my mind) and you added "all" taking it from a true statement, to a fallacious one.
The one thing I didn't give up was the chance to have another child. I had to wean Charlie in order to do an FET when he was 11 months old, as my periods weren't regular enough for them to pinpoint my ovulation.
Other than that, I didn't give up anything really. I ate spicy foods (probably why Charlie likes it now), had the odd drink (and I wouldn't overindulge at that stage anyway with a young baby to look after), exercised and didn't really have any habits to give up (except good sleep, which wouldn't have made a huge difference if I had to wake up to make up a bottle anyway). I did have a cracked nipples and frequent mastitis with Charlie (not my first three kids) but even now, that feels like a distant memory, where the benefits of actual breastfeeding relationship is fresh and clear in my head - never mind the research etc etc!
Plus they grow up so fast. Charlie's now four and I still mourn the loss of our BFing relationship. It went in as blink of an eye, considering the larger scheme of things. I don't feel like I gave up anything that I didn't get a return on three-fold.
i agree that i dont think you should have to give anything up to breastfed, but i cant help but think that i have given up my health to an extent.
dont get me wrong i have no intention of weaning (though have most certainly felt like it recently) but im exhausted from DD feeding multiple times over night and not sleeping well (she has had recent ongoing ear issues) but im suffering. my hair is limp, im loosing weight, i feel like ive aged 10 years in around 8 months... but breastfeeding is the best thing for her and i dont want to give that up
Ideally you shouldn't have to give up anything, but in reality when you have to be near your child every 3-4 hours day and night it does restrict what you can do and it does mean that you have to give things up.
I don't believe I've given up anything but I've certainly made some changes. Although mostly they are changes that come with being a mother rather than specifically breastfeeding.
I think the ideal and then the reality can be two vastly different things. Each individual has very different issues etc that it is impossible to make a blanket statement. I also think that whilst knowing the benefits of breastfeeding it is important to assess the overall impact on everyone.
I struggled the entire time I fed both my girls and whilst I am very proud of hanging in there for 12 months there were lots of less than calm and serene moments. In my experience BF (and all other things to do with NB's) was difficult and I was constantly exhausted and really rundown (I was also anaemic after a PPH) - I did not have any extended support and quite a lot of external pressure as well as trouble transitioning from a full time worker who was very competent and effective at a job that is very black and white compared to being bemused and confounded by a non sleeping, colicky, bubba who couldn't tell me what was wrong!
I hope you are ok and not feeling like you need to make rash decisions. Try and take care. xxx
health? No, my health and the health of my dh is just as important as the health of our children. How can we look after them if our bodies are not functioning as well as they can be?
career? Yes
sport? Yes but there are plenty of other physical activities that a mum could do instead of a sport which was interfering with breast feeding
habit? Yes
There is a little debating going on about a comment along the lines of breast is best. I know that research can slant their findings to support any view, full stop. There is no debating that fact. I agree with mad scientist and I would question what cross section of the population was actually involved in the research? I think breast is probably best for your average healthy woman as far as nutrition goes for their babies. Having said that I'd go as far as to say that the majority of woman in the world (yes when you look at the global population I'd say the majority) do not have access to great food and or lifestyle options or choose a less than optimal lifestyle to be producing milk which is nourishing to their babies. In these cases maybe formula is a better choice for them. Then there are so many other factors to consider also such as mental health and the general wellbeing for mother and the rest of the family. It is a shame that many woman who formula feed feel shun by society as 'bad mothers' just as many woman who end up have having a cesarean feel a huge amount of guilt.
Kate if you are asking this question for yourself or a friend my advice would be to take care of yourself 1st because that is ultimately taking care of your baby :hug:
Only things I really gave up were caffeine & alcohol.. and that was my choice.. i know you can actually still have them whilst breastfeeding.
I find it a strange question actually.. cos the answers to me are the same as how I would answer what I would give up to be a mother. Why be specific about breastfeeding? Why not What did you give up in order to change nappies 10 times a day?
I guess I've given up a lot of time to be a mum. But to be honest, on the feeding front, I think more time would be given up to formula feed.