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I don't see why acknowledging a baby being fed needs to be done at all, good or bad. I don't congratulate someone on eating their sandwich, nor turn up my nose if they're scoffing down fried food.
The baby is just eating, not sure why it attracts comments or looks either way.
Personally I have never had any comments on BF in public but I can imagine how mad you are. Keep up the good work :)
I would have gone up to that ladies face and said 'you are an awful, awful person' and walked away. That makes me sick what youve told us here. Honestly, it does...
I have two little ones as well as a breastfed baby. My girls will not sit in a tiny cubicle with me at a shopping centre, so i have to breastfed Sam in public (in eatery section, or at a cafe). Ive been told by strangers i am pretty discreet, luckily my girls get the job done (;))
- breasts in society are still considered something that is sexual, not for feeding.:
The baby is just eating, not sure why it attracts comments or looks either way.
I honestly think there is nothing, nothing, nothing more beautiful than a full breast of milk showing, with a cute bubba suckling away. Honestly, even writing this now, it gives me warm fuzzy feelings. I often see women in coffee shops with boobs out and baby happily sucking and i secretly wish i could be that confident. I wish i could show people what a normal thing it is - mother feeding baby. Instead i usually have babys head covered, my shoulder and boob covered, thus reason i guess i have never had a comment.
Stand up and be proud hon. Pffttt to those others.......
The story of the woman feeding all the prem babies reminded me of a story my mum told me. She said that when i was a baby i got BF by her family friend one day when she was looking after me and vice versa when mum looked after her boy.
My sister & i were out were shopping in a baby shop the other day & her DD needed feeding so she BF her as we walked around the shop, the sales assistant just smiled.
And she said if we ever needed to feed our DD's while shopping in the mall to come into her shop in the change room which has a comfy chair as the parents room there is not in a very nice condition.
I feed in public & in the feeding rooms only because my DD won't feed properly if there is alot of noise going on (she might miss out on something).
I do agree some of the parents rooms tend to be very smelly and most of the time there is not enough chairs in the parents rooms.
I have never had any negative comments when BF in public though.
I get comments from my brother in laws partner (who FF her 2 boys) that it looks weird when i BF my nearly 11 month old DD as she looks too big to be BF and that she would be embarressed to BF a baby that size!! :rolleyes:
I'm sure it is only a minority of narrow minded people who say things like that but if a FF mother can feed her baby where ever she likes, than so can a BF mother.
Well said Liz!
Thanks for the support everybody :)
The state of parents rooms is really something isn't it? I have emailed the centre in question to tell them my thoughts on their parents rooms twice already and have yet to receive a reply- I think they were obviously designed by men without kids as they seem to only accomodate changing and not feeding!! That being said, another shopping centre near me has an awesome parents room- big, with massive comfy lounges that aren't curtained off and are the oppisite side of the room to the change area, a tv (yay!! especially for those long newborn feeds) and a play area on the the floor for the older kids to use while mum is feeding the little ones, and a massive toilet area that has one big toilet, one small one and is big enough to fit a pram in (go Narellan Town Centre!). It's also a surprisingly good place to chat with other mums!
I remember being totally freaked out by the thought of people feeding other people's babies before I had my own, but I've since heard lots about it. A friend of mine whose son is 18 now used to express stacks of milk for him to be given in NICU and the nurses would share what was left over between the other bubs as well. Got to better for them than formula, especially if they are premmie. Makes me wonder why there is a total lack of breastmilk banks in Australia...
And, for the record, I have nothing against FF'ing mums, I was only one painful feed away from it myself when DS was born. But I will admit it does make me cranky when anyone judges for BF'ing my baby, in public or otherwise....
God help the person who ever dares to criticise me while I'm feeding in public. I will tell them how my right to feed my baby in any public place is protected by law and then invite them to repeat themselves so I can lodge a complaint against them with the AntiDiscrimination Commissioner...Go on, JUST TRY ME!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
I'm dreadful when I'm feeding in public, I'm happy to stare around me to see who's looking, I make eye contact, and smile and generally (i'm sure) act pretty pleased with myself. So far (in 26 months of feeding) I've only ever had smiles and encouragement in return. I always try to pass that on when I see other mums feeding in public too. For every sour-lipped person who's thought a sour thought, there are probably dozens that go past who think it's great but don't comment because they don't want to embarrass you!
BTW, I agree about the general state of parents room. The thing that's a complete put off in practically every one I've ever been in is that foul nappy stench. I've got one word for you shopping centre management people: Ventilation!
:clap:Exactly:
I tend to think "it's not their child and they are not going to be the ones dealing with a child who simply does not understand the 'shame' imposed on BFing mummies for just doing what is natural and normal". So, like MaryDean, I feed wherever, with a definite air of defiance and thus far the only person who's ever made comment was my mum, when DS was about 6 months old! I've re-educated her now, though ;)
As a new mum I'm still not really comfortable bfing in public... I feel really clumsy most of the time, depsite DS being nearly 5 months! In our town there's almost no places to feed except for the local baby shop and I've tried in cafes, although DS is such a sticky beak we don't get a decent feed happening there... So I've started compiling a list of the best places to feed when out and about for a friend expecting at the end of June. So far my favourites in Adelaide are Myer in the city, complete with tv and lots of non-curtained couches, Ikea and one of the Westfield stores, which does have cubicles, but they've been done up recently, fit the pram in and are clean and don't smell. It even has a little play area for people who have a toddler as well. Hopefully I'll be feeling more confident each time we go out and will join the bf mums out there loud and proud in cafes and food courts!
My worst ever experience so far was actually last week in a parenting room closer to home - yep, small, curtained cubicle with dirty sticky vinal arm chair I had to put a blanky down to sit on it, BUT THEN, a mum came in with 2 kids, one howling and the other wimpering and the mother screamed back at the kid and called her all sorts of nasty things which of course didn't placate the child, and my DS looked up at me petrified and ended up in a fit of tears himself because of the horrible noise which made it impossible to feed him until they left and I could calm him down...I nearly cried too, it was an awful noise that just went on and on... I should have stayed out in the middle of the centre on one of the wooden benches!
How awful :( It's also incredibly thoughtful of you to be compiling a list of BF-friendly locations for your friend, I would never have thought of that!!
Yesterday arvo I was in Woollies and saw a Mum BF in the aisle with an older baby. An older lady (with a 20 something daughter) started whispering loudly "Oh dear, can you believe she's breastfeeding here!" and she said it like 10 times :rolleyes:, so I walked over to the mum & said "Why do they have to comment?" she said "Its either this or the looks and comments because my baby is screaming". I told her I used to stop & sit on the floor & bf as I learnt from a BB friend (thanks MantaRay). She laughed & said, maybe they wouldn't comment if you put a sign up that said "What are you looking at???".
I always put a muslin over me when I BF in public as I live in an area with a large Muslim population and I worried that I could offend someone by openly BFing. I didn't ever have any comments but felt as long as I was happy and my bubbas were happy then the muslin was no trouble. I don't know if it was all in my head or not but I simply felt concerned that I might offend so felt better covering up a little.
Now that I FF my DD I have to admit I feel more uncomfortable about putting a bottle in her mouth than my boobie as I feel bad and self concious about not being able to BF her aymore! I feel much more judged about a bottle than I ever did about BF.... Isn't that crazy!!!
it's nuts - they're just having a meal!:
Isn't that crazy!!!
Christy - I thought your post was going to say you went up to the person that made the comment and said 'why do you have to comment'! LOL.
ROFL Christy - I can just see a line of women sitting in woolies bfing and someone asking why and being told "we read about it on a website"!! I'm glad to be contributing my bit to society!! ;)
I remember seeing on one of the ABA brochures (I think) a picture of a bub with a speech bubble to the effect of 'I'm just having my lunch!'. I really want to get a tshirt for DS which says much the same... anyone in the fashion business wanting to do a line of bf supporting shirts for mums and bubs? We could combine a MR inspired sit in with a fashion statement! Imagine all the comments you could put out there... 'I don't stare when you eat!' or 'mind your own lunch!' The only shirt that I've seen which comes close was in Cotton on Kids and it was 'I'm a tits man' which just confuses the feeding thing with the sexual side of boobs. Might have to find out how to print my own shirts...
LM, the ABA shop, Mothers' Direct, have some great t-shirts. My favourites says "I make milk, what's your superpower?". Love it!!
I'm loving the idea of a bfing sit-in LOL!!
Ok, i have to say, right now, i'm laughing at myself. For someone who was very uninformed and didn't plan to breastfeed, somehow established confidence to feed in public at all, now i fume at all the inappropriate comments.
I was in a parents room the other day, which have beautiful comfortable couches in one big open part, and then two closed little rooms, with your crap plastic chairs.
I choose to feed on the couch. Some woman had the nerve to say 'the rooms are there for a reason". Unbelievable. Does she honestly think a BFing mother would prefers dark, dingy unlit room with a seat that provides no support for feeding as opposed to the couches?? What the hell does she think they are there for... the elder children of the BFing mother?
I don't think it's fair that society makes me feel uncomfortable enough that i have to feed in a parents room, but this was taking it further? Gosh i could have given her a serve.
*scowl*
And as for parents room, i wish they'd separate them from the general toilet area. And have them cleaned more frequently. Don't they realise that children do feed in there?