For the first time, breastfeeding is hard :(

I wanted to come back here and update, and say thank you so much to everyone for your help, advice and hugs. I was reminded of the thread last night when I realised I'd just put DS onto the left breast without even thinking about it, and I had been all day. It doesn't really hurt anymore, just a bit of discomfort sometimes.

It took a long time to get to here though! For me, there was no quick or easy fix. Nothing I could put on that would stop the pain or make it heal faster. There were times we were both crying because he was hungry and I couldn't handle giving him what he wanted. I expressed a couple of times to see if we could give me a break from feeding him, but he just likes to chew on the teat and gets quite shocked when milk comes out :rofl:

The big wound circled at least 1/3 of the bottom of my nipple, was about 2mm wide and quite deep. So putting anything at all like lansinoh on sometimes actually hurt more than leaving it alone. I spent many days not going out so I could just have my boob out (having it touch anything hurry too much) and kept putting breastmilk on it. The problem was I really couldn't avoid a morning and night feed from that side, he just didn't get enough from the right alone, so that slowed the heading down a lot. I don't think it'll ever really be the same, it looks like I'll always have a 'dent' there.

I am so, so grateful for the support I received, here, the LC OP thankfully put me onto, the oral surgeon, our GP and most definitely DH. He never once suggested formula, and I think if I'd had people in my ear suggesting it I was in a state of mind to give up and go with formula. He rubbed my shoulders while I was feeding to help relax me, brought me anything I needed. He just acknowledged how hard it was for me, and how important it was to me to get through it and keep going.

So thank you, thank you everyone, I'm now looking forward to happily breastfeeding DS for as long as he needs and wants to :)

I just wanted to say I think you're awesome! You had so may hurdles you needed to get through, more than may people could handle, and you did it! You should be very proud of yourself, you've done a wonderful thing for your boy, continuing to feed, when it hurt like hell and you could have easily give up, but you didn't!

Well done Teeki, I'm so glad things are looking up for you!

Naw thanks Jaycee :) This has made me realise exactly what people mean when they say breastfeeding is hard, and I have a whole new appreciation for how easy I had it with DD! I just wish others had the same level of support to keep going when it gets tough.

That's the thing that can frustrate a lot of passionate breastfeeding support types (you know the ones I mean ;) ) - help is here. We are here, 24/7, we are here. But you have to reach out - we can't come to you if we don't know you need us.

Well done on getting through. What a wonderful DH you have to be so supportive.

The funny thing about DH is that his boss's wife had a baby not that long ago. On Friday DH asked him how it was going and he mentioned that his wife had just stopped breastfeeding and was a bit sad about it. So DH asked him why and he said she wasn't making enough milk. She stopped at around 6 weeks. Without being too pushy DH told him that it wasn't too late if she wanted to keep going and help was out there. He knew enough to tell him that it's about supply and demand and she had to keep offering it, no matter if he'd just had a feed, if he's hungry give it to him. He offered to pass on my number of she wanted to chat and so I could pass on the details of our Dr and the LC that helped me. He's awesome :)

They didn't want the help though, they're hoping the formula will help his reflux and get him sleeping better. So DH came home and told me, and said he was a little disappointed that she didn't have the support I had, and if I can keep going with half a nipple falling off (:rofl:) then she probably could have kept going with some help.

Your DH sounds gorgeous Teeki. So many women mistakenly think they have supply issues just because they have inherited the expectation that a newborn shouldn't want to feed every two hours or that an unsettled bub automatically means not enough milk or because their milk might be slower to fully come in etc then when they start introducing formula top ups lower supply does become real. Of course supply can be a real issue in the first instance but there is help out there.

Teeki i am very happy for you, it sounds like you had a really awful start to BF this time around. X

Respect. You fed with your nipple half falling off. :clap:

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Respect. You fed with your nipple half falling off. :clap:

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:lol: It sure felt like it sometimes! But he's a bit of an exaggerater :) I'm sure there are lots of others who've had it much harder than I did, I was just totally thrown by how not easy it was compared to DD.

Thanks ladylove, I think he's pretty great :)