Thanks Olive and Manta Ray..doesn't matter how many kids we have, always so much to learn with these little beautiful individuals. :)
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Thanks Olive and Manta Ray..doesn't matter how many kids we have, always so much to learn with these little beautiful individuals. :)
MR - yes you're quite right, that info you've given us makes perfect sense! Thank you. As always your posts are awesome and so helpful :hug: That makes sense.
Miss heather - thank you for the tips but I agree with MR. Babies definitely need nutrition during the night especially at 3mths.... very rarely do babies not need a feed in the night at that age! I think it's more close to around 10-12mths that some stop needing it depending on how much they eat during the day, etc etc... so many variables.
I'd love DH to be able to take a holiday for a week but unfortunately he only gets 10 days off a year over xmas time :( so that's not possible. (we have a family business and close it at xmas time).
Would be nice tho having my DH home with me more!!
Anna - I've been able to relate alot to your posts over the last 5 months that you've written....! I suppose because our DD's are of similar age but also similar sleep patterns since 8mths! :hug:
Heaven - thanks, I found that website the other day when someone recommended it and have been reading it a few times.....it seems like a good plan... I think i'd alter some of the things though, not sure if i agree with it all....
I've decided to wait another month until I try night weaning..... after her 1st birthday i'll see how we go. I don't think she's ready yet. I'm ready :lol: :lol: but she's not....
Today Mum was here and I had a 1.5hr sleep during the day while she played with DD so it was GREAT having that rest!!!! I sure needed it.
I know that all this comfort and cuddles and feeding we give to our bub's at this young age can only help them to be independent and confident toddlers/kids and then adults later in life....
Is it true that between 8-12mths for most babies is a notoriously bad time sleep wise and that many babies settle down after 12-13mths of age?? This is what I was told recently..... is that true?? Be nice to get more sleep as we will want to start TTC #2 this year!!! :D
ps I made DD a really yummy baby Risotto tonight and she just LOVED it!!! Ate ALL of it and wanted more!!!! So hopefully that has filled her little tummy to the max and she sleeps for longer hehe if this works, i'm going to make it EVERY night :rofl:
you sound like you've got a plan Shanti, that's good!
I remember my MIL telling DH that babies don't need milk during the night after 3 months - it's just a habit. DH says "But how does she know he's not hungry? she's not even here!"
As mentioned, my boy needed nightly feeds till 18 months. He may well be an outlier, but I wouldnt' "expect" it till after 12 months really.
From what I've heard, yes, some do settle at 12-13 months. Some take longer. There's no way to know till you get there hun. Just rest assured that you're doing a great job and it is truly all worth it. DS started sleeping through (sometimes) at around 19 months. He started having consistently longer day sleeps at around 17 months.
Get your mum to come in more often so you get more day naps. Hooray for your mum:dance:
Oh I just read an article and thought of this thread. It's stuff we all know, but it's nice to hear it sometimes, u know? Gave me a confidence boost anyway :)
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Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Sleeping Through the Night
by Kelly Bonyata, BS, IBCLC
It's so common for mothers to worry when their babies don't sleep through the night. After all, everyone knows they're "supposed to." Some doctors recommend nighttime weaning and "cry it out" methods if your baby is not sleeping through the night by 6 months or even earlier. Even when the mom herself has no problems with baby nursing at night, she still worries that this is a problem, since American society seem to consider it one. There are books all over the bookstores with advice on solving so-called "sleep problems."
First, please ignore what everyone else says about your baby's sleep habits and what is "normal." These people are not living with you or your baby. Unless your doctor sleeps in the next room and your baby is keeping him awake every night, he has no reason to question a healthy baby's sleep habits. If you and your baby enjoy nighttime feedings, then why not continue? It's a great way to have time with her, particularly if you are apart during the day.
Every baby is different, and some sleep through the night earlier than others (schedules or food usually have nothing to do with this). Your baby may be hungry (keep in mind that breastmilk digests in less than 2 hours) or she may just want time with you. Babies whose mothers work during the week often nurse more at night and on weekends, perhaps to reconnect with Mom. Doctors tend to look at night nursing only from a nutritional standpoint, but this is only part of the story. After the first few months, your baby will begin to associate the breast with far more than just a way to satisfy hunger and thirst. It becomes a place of comfort, security, warmth, closeness, and familiarity. The act of nursing is not just nourishing; it is nurturing. Keep in mind that these needs are every bit as real as baby's physical ones, and having them met is every bit as needful to baby's overall development.
If the amount that your child sleeps and nurses at night isn't a major problem for you, then there's no reason to try to change anything. You are not doing a bad thing by nursing on demand; you are doing a wonderful thing for your baby. When you comfort baby at night, you are not teaching her a bad habit: you are teaching her that you are there for her when she needs you. Is security a bad habit?
What is normal when it comes to baby's sleep?
It is common for breastfed babies to not sleep through the night for a long period of time. On the other hand, some breastfed babies start sleeping through the night when a few months old.
Both of my children nursed once (occasionally more) at night through their second year. Since this doesn't bother me, I did doing nothing to change it. We co-sleep, and neither my baby nor I generally wake up completely when she nurses. Both started sleeping through the night on their own, when they were ready.
Your baby will begin to comfort herself and to sleep for longer stretches at her own developmental pace. If your baby wants to nurse at night, it is because she does need this, whether it's because she is hungry or because she wants to be close to Mom. Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone - like walking or toilet training - that your baby will reach when she is ready to. Trying to force or coax baby to reach this before her time may result in other problems later on.
If you can try to take a more relaxed approach and trust that it will come in time, you'll see your baby eventually become a good sleeper. You'll be able to rest peacefully in your heart and mind knowing that she reached this in her own time when she felt secure enough to do so, not because she had no other choice but to quiet herself because no one would come.
Probably one of the main reasons that night-waking babies are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. We are bombarded with magazine articles and books that perpetuate the myth that babies should not have nighttime needs. Babies were designed to wake up often at night to feed and cuddle, and keep in mind that many adults wake during the night, too. If our expectations for babies were not so different from our babies' expectations for themselves, much of this "problem" might disappear.
Why do babies wake at night?
Babies wake at night for many reasons, and they often start waking at night after sleeping through for a few months. Some of the reasons for night waking (in no particular order) are:
- baby wants more time with mom
- teething
- developmental advances (for example: waking more often right before or after learning to turn over, crawl or talk)
- illness, allergy, diaper rash, eczema
- hunger (including growth spurts)
- reverse cycling: Some babies whose moms are away during the day prefer to reject most/all supplements while mom is away, and nurse often during the evening and night. If mom is very busy during the day or if baby is very distracted, this can also lead to reverse cycling.
When your child nurses more often at night, go through this checklist to see if you can figure out what might be going on. Sometimes there may be more than one thing causing the night waking.
Remember that night waking in babies and young children is normal and temporary!
Children grow out of night waking, even when we do nothing to discourage it. This period of time will be a very tiny part of your child's years with you.
Your goal is to maximize sleep for everyone in the family, while respecting the needs of your child. If you're meeting this goal, then ignore anyone who suggests that you do things differently. All parents find that they change the way they do things as their child grows older and reaches different developmental stages - sleep is just another thing that changes as your child grows.
I used the Jay Gordon method with a little tweaking to suit us as I am back at work in 2 weeks and I NEED to get some sleep otherwise I will be completely useless! We got results after 3 nights and I think she has slept through probably 10 nights in the last 14.
I have also found that when she does wake in the night a quick cuddle and rock in my arms is enough to get her back to sleep in 10minutes. DP is also able to resettle her this way. Childcare said that in the last week she has put herself to sleep for her day sleeps which she has never done before so I think it has been working!