When did it get better for you - attachment issues

I don't know if I can help with the attachment issue... but would love to offer some support.

It is normal to feel like you are pinned to the couch. I certainly felt that way up til about 7 weeks. 1.5 hours without feeding was a marathon for both of us, and leaving the house was daunting - and that was without problems to compoud it.
Pumping is such very hard work, and it is a wonderful thing to do for your baby. A mum in my MG had to do it for 12 weeks to get BFing established, and now, at 4 months, she has this gorgeous, chubby, super settled baby and she loves feeding. I think she is amazing to have persevered for so long with it, and now she is reaping the rewards.

Our ABA group meetings are great too. I have made great friends, and had some delicious cups of tea. There is always support. For everyone. About anything. Strongly recommend.

Good luck. You're doing great. xx

Hey ladies,

I haven't had internet access for the last couple of days.

You are all so fabulous with your support.

Audux - wow that woman in your mother's group is so inspirational. If I had a crystal ball and could see that it would all pan out at 3 months I would just know to keep going. I will look into the ABA meetings.

Entreat - I undertand the emotions that you talked about. I'm hoping we will turn a corner soon as we are 5 weeks tomorrow. I so hope, but not convinced we are near the corner yet.

MummaSue - thanks for the hugs. I need them.

Isadora - yes it's my first baby. I agree there is so much to learn and take in with the first. I hope things work out for you too.

MantaRay - I did see a private LC for one session but she didn't really offer anything different from the hospital clinic.

AFM: well we have an osteopath appointment booked and a paediatric appointment booked. I was at the MCHN today and she saw him refusing his EBM bottle and suggested I see a MCHN at the Children's Hospital who specialises in feeding refusal. I will also follow this one up. At the moment I have seem to have fallen into a groove (or accepted me current lot) of expressing and accepting that we try BF and when it fails move onto the EBM bottle. I'm trying to focus on small achievements like once a day we get a 15 minute feed and an attempted latch on the other side. I'm still hoping for a better day and hopefully it will be soon but right now I feel I can hold up this pattern for another week or two.

I know it may not seem like it to you Lisa, but it sounds to me like you're really making progress here. Definitely focus on those small achievements :hug:

You're doing great Lisa babe, really great.

We're actually having some attachment issues ourselves at the moment!!!! One year down the line! But it's the dreaded teeth. It would seem that DD likes to use my nipple as a teether at the moment :( OUCHIES!

:hug:

i can highly recommend the osteo! so am happy to see that you have booked in to see one :)

we had loads of attachment issues with DD2 and at around 8 weeks i lost the plot after numerous bouts of mastitis and saw a LC who recommended an osteo. so we went along and after the first session there was a noticeable improvement and by the third (and last) session we were awesome and havent looked back!

Madb - thanks for you encouragement, it is hard to see progress when you are in the thick of things.

MummaSue - thanks hun, the teeth sound very ouchie!

Cass - Can I ask which Osteo you saw? I live in Thornbury so yours might be close and given you've had success I might look into it. I'm booked in the city at VUT as they have a BF specialist Osteo but the city is a bit of pain particularly as I have to express on a regular schedule so getting in, the appointment time and getting back home is really going to push it for me.

Update from me: I have refined my schedule a bit further so I now prepare the bottle, the hot water to warm it and the breast pumps prior to attempting the BF so when the BF fails (almost always) I can quickly attend to DS with the bottle, feeding him on the end of my knees which reduces his tears and hop on the pump at the same time (double pump hands free). I think I've shaved off another 10 minutes of time and depending on DS drinking time I can now do the feeding/xpress cycle in 40 mins...yay!! It's only 10 minutes less but made such a difference both in my time and not having to see DS distressed whilst his bottle is being heated.

we go to one in fitzroy on brunswick street (so i catch the tram down with her in the carrier) called Osteopathic Sense. they all deal in babies and BF stuff...so cool!

Cass - thanks for that I will look them up now it's great that it worked for you and hopefully I will get some joy as well.

Cass - We are booked in with Isabelle for next week. Looking forward to my appointment now!! We can combine it with a nice stroll around Brunswick St and even be back for the next express :)

I just wanted to update where I'm up to as a sense of completion of this thread.

I tried attaching DS to the breast for 9 weeks and he would cry each time and never complete a full feed. I tried all the advice given by LCs and tried seeing an osteopath. Then at 9 weeks DS began to reduce his volume of top up bottles (EBM) and would cry each time the bottle was offered. I stopped attaching DS to monitor his volume and it had reduced. We ended up at the hospital and were put onto people who could help with feeding like a paediatrician and a MCHN who specialises in fussy feeding. DS also started reflux medication but the specialists are not sure if he has reflux or an allergy to something I am eating. The issue of nipple confusion was raised by many of the professionals.

I am sad to say but I have stopped trying to attach DS to the breast at 9 weeks. I am still expressing and providing BM exclusively. I know this is the right decision for us as I need to focus on his feed times being positive and satisfying, and I am still doing the best I can for him by providing BM. His EBM bottle feeding has improved with the strategies and help I have been receiving. I am also about to begin working with a dietician to see if he is reacting to something in the BM.

Thanks everyone for your support and I hope that those of you still experiencing attachment issues see resolution soon.

Big hugs. You've been through a serious struggle, and by continuing to express, the door for breastfeeding is open for later on, when both of you feel more comfortable.

My son has reflux. It was PITA & heart breaking until he was medicated. What medication did they start him on?

keep up the good work on expressing. :D

Big big hugs to you Lisa B. I hadn't realised you were still struggling from when you had posted so so many weeks ago.

Well done on getting so far as you have and on having the courage to make a decision that you have done to make feeding your DS a good experience.

Like Entreat said by continuing to express you are going to continue to keep your supply up so could go back to breastfeeding again in the future if it was right for both of you.

We did the whole breast feeding, little top up, express roundabout for months probably until my DS was about 4 months old and I was constantly worrying about how much he was taking. We seemed to turn a corner at about 4 months and then again at 6 months when top ups were dropped completely. However every baby is different so what worked for me mightn't work for you. That is what is so difficult when you are trying to give help and support to someone. I think its just a case of trying different things that have worked for others and keeping fingers crossed that it will work for you too.

Like MR and MS have said the ABA are fantastic. I lost count of the number of times I was on the phone to them in tears in the early days when I couldn't get DS to feed. Some of my friends who'd had children before me just couldn't understand why I was persevering with breast feeding if it was upsetting me so much. Others who were supportive and who had bubs at the same time as me had babies that took to BFing like a duck takes to water so they didn't really understand the problems we were experiencing. But we did and I continued to BF DS until he was just over 18 months old when he basically decided his time was up. I was also ready to leave go at that stage so it worked out well for both of us.

But you need to do whatever works for the two of you. Any help/support I can give just shout out.

Xx

Hi,
I'm coming into this thread a bit late, I only just saw it, but I just wanted to give you a little glimmer of further hope in case it is helpful.
You have done such a great job, and as you say it is so hard and time consuming, and what you are doing right now sounds like the best decision for you at the moment.

Just in answer to you original question - for us it took 4 months to get it sorted. We exclusively expressed for a period from about 1 week old and then got back onto the breast with nipple shields, and finally managed to wean from nipple shields at 3 months. I went on to breastfeed for 2.5yrs :D
Sometimes the initial road is so, so hard, but when they are 1yr, or 2yr (or 4yrs like mine is now!) that awful struggle does seem more distant.

If that doesn't happen for you, then please do recognise you've given it a great shot and done the best you could and you and your baby will be great anyway! But maybe, in a week, or at some stage you both might just feel like trying the breast again and it may just "click", you never know.

All the best.

Lisa, you have done such a great job :hug: You know you have tried everything so hopefully that will give you some inner peace. I am really glad that you have a plan that you are happy with. Have you seen the Exclusive Expressers support thread? You might like to join them in there - they are all doing a fantastic job, are very supportive and have picked up some tips along the way that might help you out. Here is the link in case you are interested: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...ressers-85910/

All the best hun :hug:

Great work Lisa! I know it's not what you'd hoped for, but you're doing really well and should feel proud :hug:

totally agree with MadB...you did a sterling effort and have continued to do so!

I had similar problems and only got by durin the first couple of weeks by expressing and finger feeding. I set myself a target of 6 weeks. 9 weeks later we are still going. I use a nipple shield - this was a life saver for me. a mid wife suggested it because we were having attachment problems - my DS would come off continually and my nipples were killing me. I have heard that nipple shields can affect your supply but I have too much milk at the moment! I saw a lactation consultant at the hospital too who was great. When things were bad I used to dread each feed. I used to cry through them. It was horrible. I just took one feed at a time. Now it is a lot better - I still have a few issues which I think are now down to there being too much milk and try as many feeds without the shields as I can but don't worry too much about using the shields.

Most of my friends had problems too so I was prepared for it to be difficult - that didn't make it any easier though.

Hang in there - your persistence will pay off.:D

attachment magically happened for us, at the four month mark.

until then, it was bad enough, that i was constantly saying "i commit to bf-ing for the next 24 hours, i cannot commit any longer than that".

are you seeing a range of LC's at the hospy?
is there a cut off point for the help?
my friend found out, the LC help at the hospy, was only for babies under ten weeks old. So when she had issues at 12 weeks, she was not eligible for the help.

Some people find a huge difference between seeing many different hospy LC's, and seeing ONE private LC on a regular basis e.g once a week until things settle down - in YOUR HOME, so they might pick up on things that the hospy LC's wouldn't, purely cos they're seeing you and bub, in your normal environment.

Have you got a comfy place to bf? i bought a rocking chair to feed in, it was anything but comfy to bf in. i wished i had bought a recliner instead. I tried so many different bf-ing pillows. i often fed on the sofa, so had support for my arms, when i fed on ONE side, but when it came time for 2nd side, zero support.

i remember me and my bub being picked up by a kind stranger, for a ABA meeting (i was too unwell to drive at three months) and i was so exhausted. the aba meeting was being held out on the person's outdoor entertaining area, i found it very noisy and needed to feed bilby. so the person offered me to go into her lounge so i could feed bilby someplace quiet. Next time she checked on us, i had fallen asleep cradling bilby in my arms (the sofa was very wide, so she was safe)! She woke me up at the end of the meeting. Apparently this is not unusual behaviour for their new mums - i was SO embarrassed.