Printable View
Tiff - ROFL, I wouldnt know what to do with tackle ahahahahah
and as for this comment
It sometimes feels like the view is giving birth is a test of your strength, we all congratulate the poor mum who laboured for 30hrs with NO pain relief but there isn't much pride for the mum who had a 20 min cut on the op table even though she's endured emotional pain kwim?
Honey you hit the nail right on the head!!!! Thank you
LMAO I think men would be even more clueless with a woohoo... although I'm sure they would have to investigate ALOT! :lol:
Glad I could confort you a bit ;)
Joralyd thankyou so much for the meaningful post.
I struggled with the reality of ending up with a CS with my dd. There where ppl who judged and made me feel as though i took the easy way out. I did not opt for a CS i was induced and went into labour but it failed and i did not dialate beyond 6cm. DD was stressed and it became an emergency situation so after 16hrs (10 with no pain relief) i found myself in theatre and then spent 2-3 hrs in recovery as i have a blood clotting disorder. I did not get to meet my bub until i was taken back to the ward and it was the early hrs of the morning. DH had to go home after half hr or so and i was left to try and comprehend what had just happend!
This time around i wanted the VBAC but this will not be the case. I could have gone down that path but felt as though i had/have little support, even the Dr's i've seen based on my medical history etc have recommended a repeat CS so at the end of the day this is what i believe will be best for me and my family. I do feel guilty at my decision and almost ashamed to tell people for the negativity i know i will surely recieve.
It is so lovely to know i have somewhere i can share my feelings and know that they are understood.
:hug: Nat I hear ya baby! I think we're half way there just by talking.
I've finally started to feel comfortable in my decision to have another C for the 3rd time although it wasn't an option if I wanted to deliver in a hospital with an OB, still the guilt sets in and the emotional rollercoaster starts. It's been really good to have an open chat about it without the judgment :hug:
I feel your pain and dissapointment.
I want to share my feelings.
I was very unhappy about not being able to give birth naturaly. I wanted that soooo bad and I was sooo excited though-out my pg about doing what my body was made to do. BUT dd had other plans. She came early as a result of me getting HELLP sindrome AND she was growth-retarded as a result of my plastenta being f@#%-up. That made my dr cut my uterus verticaly, to get her out as safely as possible, thus elimanating any chances of me ever getting to push a bubba out.
I felt cheated (I still do) out of the most mind-blowing experience a woman can have. I felt let down by my own body and my circumstance. But what I am mad about the most - and this I have NEVER told anyone, not even my DH - was that when push came to shove and they asked me if I would like to have a spinal or be under general, I became a chicken*****. I chose general, because I was scared to death. I was calm on the outside and felt relaxed, but I was sooo scared to be awake and see, that I chose not too. Thinking about it now makes me sad and angry. I wanted to see, I wanted to be awake when they picked her up out of me, I wanted to hear her cry her first cry, I wanted to just BE there. I am so mad at myself for not having the guts to do that. And to tell you the truth, I am not sure that I would not do exactly the same for my second child. I am looking at a natural c/s for the next one, but don't know if I can do that.
I have the deepest respect for women that do c/s for any reason what so ever and I have the same respect for women who give birth natural. I console myself in the fact that my daughter is healthy and growing and being loved, no matter the manner she came into this world. What does it really matter how she was born, when she is the focus of the whole "operation". Am I really that full of myself that I would make her birht into something about me? It was HER birth, not mine. I should just be lucky that I could have carried her for the time that I did and that my body was able to support her for that long. I can't pick the cards dealt for me, I can only do the best with what I got. Why can't I just be gratefull?
Sorry if this has nothing to do with the conversation at the moment. I just needed to get it out and this seemed like the best spot. I hope I did not offend anyone. Thank you! :)
Nadine-
I do not believe you are a coward for the path you chose with the general i think if i was given the opportunity i may well have opted it. I was wheeled into theatre with a patchy epidural and was pleading with them not to cut me as i could feel my left side.....it was horrendous. Thankfully they called the anaethasist and in the end i was given a spinal which i will say was fantastic! I had no pain or discomfort and only felt minimul tugging etc. I was not given the option of the general but i petrified of having the CS so think if i was given the choice i would have opted for it. I hope that for any future pregnancies and CS's you do come away happier with your choice of anaesthetic. I do not think for one minute you are full of yourself for feeling so guilty etc about your experience of course it was your dd's birth but it was just as much yours, without you she would not have had a birth IYKWIM.
Nadine - matie this is exactly why I started this thread becuase I felt the same way and still do with c/s number 4 coming. I hope that by coming here and chatting about it helps
Thanks guys! We woman are strange folk, aren't we? I know that it was best for baby and in a strange way I do feel that now that I don't have a choice in the matter, I can better prepare myself for the next one. You know, build up some courage :cryinglaugh:
I also feel that I was not given the time to make a better choice about the dr cutting me the way that he did, ok, it did go very quickly (half an hour from the now to the table) but he told me afterwards that I can only have three c/s? Told me that he would not cut me for a fourth child. Something about scaring and tissue damage? Did not really listen. Lucky for him, after dd, we said that we only want two, but what if I wanted seven children?
ps. great thread!
Nadine that's the issue I have, what if I want more? although 3 will be plenty the choice taken away is hard to stomach.
I know what you mean about preparing thats what I've been trying to do for the past 26 weeks :lol:
Great de-briefing Nadine I think your on the road to recovery.. just putting my Dr hat on ;) :lol:
LOL Thanks Dr Tiff, I'll be just right and then I would get pg again!!
no probs bill's in the mail :lol: yes then you'll have to start all over again. Actually I thought I had resolved my issues until I found out I was pg again then it all came back to the suface. This thread and the fact that I have really talked it out lately has really helped me, I'm feeling alot more confident and excepting of what's to come... ha ha I say this at 26wks wonder if I'll feel the same at 39wks :lol:
I love being able to chat here. DH knows I am on here, but he told me that this is my private space and I love him to death for that. I wanted to talk about this for soooo long, but even though DH loves me, he just do not understand why I would worry about something like this. So getting it off my chest here, is like losing 150kg in 10 minutes. Huge relief! And I believe that the more you talk about something the more you understand it and get to accept it.
DH and I have been talking about getting pg again for about a month now. I told him ok, I'll get off the pill in Jan 2008. So with that we have been discussing the birth and everything that goes with it. Seeing that dd's birth threw us a loop and was TOTAL CHAOS, I want to be prepared. I don't feel scared about it now, but I know that the closer I would get the more stressed I would be. Which in turn is not a good thing for a mommy-to-be to be :) And I KNOW that, like you, I would have this all figured out and resolved ... and then I would get pg - like a paw-paw hitting the fan. What am I greatfull for? Bellybelly members - the fact that when I get to that point, BB would be here. And I can moan and ramble away, knowing that there are real understaning and support.
ps. Can't wait to be 26 weeks pg again!! :lol:
Nadine - Tiff and I are going to scrub our floor New Years Eve so we both go into early labour together (pmsl). This is my 4th c/s so I dont know why your doctor is telling you that 3 is it...and if he said he wont cut you for a 4th pg then why cut you now???
Maybe it's to do with the vertical cut?? then horizontal aswell or maybe it's just your ob being overly causious and covering his butt.
I't's great we get 9 months to resolve our birthing issues :lol:
Hey maz and everyone else who is in here!
I just found this when i was looking for info on vba2c! I not sure if i am allowed to post the link but hopefully i can do it! It is so beautiful i cried! This lady was on bub number 4 and seh finally got her VB!! IF you can have a look i am sure it will touch all of you just the same!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site...id=1009&noview
Cheers
Kat
MIght have to go have alooksee...I feel like my pelvis is being torn in 2 at themoment...dame pressure!!!!
Ahhhhhh you are scaring me maz!!!! So far this pg i have not gained any real weight, i lost about 6 kg and now i kind of gain 2 and lose 2 type thing! Which is ok as i was overweight to begin with. But the thought of the pressure and then what effect that will have on my scar since it wasn't so long ago, ahahahahah it is so scary i don't want to think about it!!!!
So what did you think?? I bawled i just thought it was soo beautiful, and maybe a bit too close for home for me atm, i am soooo wanting a VB this time around! My doc not too keen but he says the final choice is mine, i just don't want to make the wrong one ofr my bub IYKWIM!!!!!
I couldnt get onto it!! grrr dame internet (we're having alot of trouble with it) probably best i dont read it now caus eyou said you cried)...i think 'someone' has dropped her head into a possy ;)