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Thread: Feeling lost

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Default Feeling lost

    I have 3 kids already. Their dad is wonderful but his work this year is sending him world wide monthly. 3 days before I'm due he's off to Singapore. 3 weeks after I'm due, USA. March he's going to NZ.

    I have no family or friend support who i can call on at such short notice (live 1hr+ from me and most single mums with 2/3 kids of their own).

    I'm petrified I won't have someone for my 3 kids when I go into labour. DF can't get time off other then 2-4 days once bub is here. My sister can only come down from NSW for 3 days due to work

    i have to juggle 3 kids, stupid work time off for DF and my sister, and an ex flying around the world.... And delivering this baby.

    my irrational thought is now an elective c section so I'm in control of everything

    Help... Please?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Sunny Qld
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    Default

    I can see how that is stressful!

    Is there anyone that is from BB that lives near you that could watch your kids for you? I had a BB member watch my kids for me when I had DD2 - we hadn't been friends for very long but we are like siblings now! Either that or do the kids go to daycare? You could ask one of their carers if they would be available on short notice for a few hours or however long you needed

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
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    That must be so hard for you! I can understand how you might be thinking along the lines of an elective c/s, however have you thought about your care afterwards? If you have minimal support, and your partner is only able to have a few days off, it might be worse in the long run (support wise) having the c/s?

    Have you had a c/s before? It takes up to 6 weeks to recover, you can't drive, you can't do the washing for a couple of weeks (can't carry the basket out or reach up to the line), you're not able to vaccuum, there's many other restrictions that may be placed on you as well. At least with a vaginal birth you're up and about a short time after, feeling a little worse for wear sometimes but the recovery is so much quicker than a c/s, trust me, I've had both!

    Good luck with your decision

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    Scottish expat living in Geelong
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    Default Re: Feeling lost

    I can understand why a planned cs would appeal but remember that you might need support for a few weeks as you recover and you may not be able to drive. Would that be possible with your DH's work? Can he take some parental leave to support you?

    What about paid support, such as a nanny, for a few weeks post birth? Or do you have a friend who could stay for a while? It's a horrible situation to be in, I hope you find a solution xx

  5. #5

    Join Date
    May 2010
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    I've never had a c section before and have always prayed I'd never need one. The thought of one scares the jeepers out of me

    i told DF my thoughts and he knows how much birth means to me and that I'd regret it big time later. He's throwing ideas at me and all I kept saying is 'c section would be easier'.

    in my mind its easier, but as pointed out, my support network isn't going to increase, so in the long run, harder

    arghhh, I have no clue and rambling in my head now

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Springfield, QLD
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    Do you have a spare room? perhaps look at a short term au pair to help out with not only your other kiddies but help you when ever bub arrives?

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Oct 2004
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    In my Zombie proof fortress.
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    Have a chat to your midwife. Some hospitals are able to access/put you onto services to help out.

    We had just moved and had no family close by. They were able to organise extra visits along with a cleaner for 2 hours per week for 4 weeks. Maybe even chat to your council, they may have a family/children services section, which may be able to provide you with some support when your husband is not around.

    Been through c-sections and they really do restrict your afterwards.


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